Moms have a lot on their plates every day.
Parents have a lot on their plates and rarely get a break because they have to juggle numerous tasks throughout the day, such as washing the kids’ sticky hands and faces, folding their laundry, making sure they have breakfast and lunch, and getting them ready for school.
No matter how hard they try, there’s bound to be some kind of disaster waiting around the corner, like a glass of milk knocked over, a toy you accidentally stepped on, or a stain somewhere.
Few mothers can afford the luxury of a short shower before turning in or taking some time for themselves.
Some things we take for granted as parents are touched upon in a recent piece by Heather Duckworth, a mother who has been through it all.
The messes kids make as they mature before our eyes into the persons we’ve always imagined they’ll become are an integral part of that process.
It’s important to remember that our children will look back on the messes we cleaned up as adults and use those memories as the greatest testament to the childhood we gave them, so it’s worth the effort to find the joy in the midst of the chaos.
Regrettably, not all women get to experience the turmoil and clutter that children create.
Likewise, not all parents are able to enjoy the joy that children bring into their lives.
The popular post by Heather titled “The Blue Stain” resonated with many new and expectant mothers.
Heather’s heart started pounding as she scrubbed the grout her daughter had formed with the slime, remembering the disaster she had to remove all those years ago.
After a long day of running around after her two-year-old triplets and four-year-old older brother, picking up toys, and making sure no one got hurt in the piles of laundry she couldn’t finish that day, this mother would reflect, “My hands were full, but so was my heart.”
Before turning in for the night, Heather and her two sons danced to the radio while they tidied up the playroom.
Nobody could have predicted that it would be the last time they laughed so hard for a while.
It was just as she was settling in for a good night’s sleep herself that she heard one of the lads remark, “Uh, Oh,” and she saw the huge blue stain that would haunt her dreams forever.
The pen one of the triplets was holding burst in his grasp, spraying ink everywhere. His hands, face, and pajamas were all blue, giving the impression that the tiny boy was a smurf.
While she watched, Heather felt like a bad mother and began to get angry.
She hadn’t been angry with her son, but she did hold herself responsible because she had left the pen where youngsters could easily access it. Her feelings got the best of her.
“I gasped as I saw blue splatters across the floor and a thick pool of ink sinking into our carpet – our brand new carpet. I quickly yelled for my husband, who had been doing the dishes, to come and help me. I instantly felt so upset as I grabbed my son and took him to the bathroom to clean him up and my husband started scrubbing those bright blue stains on our carpet.”
Heather’s feelings of annoyance and fury would always resurface whenever she saw the stain on the fresh new carpet. All the wonderful times she had with her sons were symbolized by the stain until the day it was finally removed.
The youngster who spilled blue paint on the carpet was diagnosed with cancer a month later, and he died two years later, leaving the stain as a memento of their time together.
“It was still there . . . and now . . . it was a constant reminder of my son. It was a constant reminder of my frustration over something so trivial . . . something so unimportant in the scheme of life.
That blue stain was a constant reminder that life is messy, but that’s what makes it worth living. A constant reminder to not sweat the small stuff. A constant reminder that ‘things’ aren’t important, but people are. A constant reminder that accidents happen. A constant reminder to let go of the little things and hang on tight to what is important.”
She tried to cover up the vivid blue stain with the furniture, but every time she cleaned the room, there it was, staring at her, reminding her of her loss and the sorrow she was still feeling.
Heather’s story is meant to remind us of how often we take life for granted and fail to appreciate the little things that give our lives meaning. She feels the need to inform all the moms out there that the dirty laundry and strewn about toys are what really make the house a place of comfort and safety for their families.
Those messes, made by the people who matter most to us, are what make our lives worthwhile, as Heather puts it, because there will come a day when we will miss those moments very much indeed. “I would have a million blue ink stains on my carpet if it meant I could have one more day with my son.”
Her advice to moms: don’t let yourself get so wrapped up in the world that you miss out on quality time with your kids. Life is too short to be wasted scrubbing stains, so prioritize what matters most!
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They received hate letters for being in love 50 years ago, but their interracial marriage is still going strong today.
Leslie Uggams is an actor who has a fascinating career in theater and movies.
The Harlem-born singer and actress has a remarkable seven-decade career, but her role in the Deadpool series has garnered the most attention.
However, her story might be the topic of a private film because her 1965 marriage to White Australian Grahame Pratt exceeded all expectations for an interracial couple.
Leslie, a gifted vocalist, recorded a song for MGM in 1953 at the age of ten. Soprano Eloise Uggams, her aunt, suggested that she enroll in the Professional Children’s School of New York and the esteemed Julliard School of Music in New York.
Though she had achieved success in music, her career was far from done; in 1969, she became the first Black person to anchor a network variety show since “The Nat King Cole Show,” when she hosted “The Leslie Uggams Show.”
But it was behind the scenes that she got to know and fell in love with actor Grahame Pratt. After meeting as pupils at Professional Children’s School in New York, the two met in Sydney on one of Leslie’s well-known tours in Australia.
Leslie knew the bad things that came with dating a white man because she had dated one in her childhood and her aunt had told her not to think about a future with him.
“I remember the shock I felt once when I was dating a white boy,” Leslie recalled to Ebony in 1967.
He e-mailed me a color photo of himself. It was shown to my aunt. He was a young, good-looking man with amazing hair. I thought he was really handsome. But my aunt just looked at me and began scolding. She said, “Well, I guess he’s alright, but only on dates, huh, honey?” You will marry a nice [Black] fella when you’re ready to settle down for good, won’t you?
Leslie stated that she continued to visit Grahame after their fortunate encounter.
“It was unexpected that I fell in love with him at the age of 21.”
After she left Australia, it would be a full year before she saw him again.
Despite her worries, Leslie and Grahame had fallen in love. Leslie was concerned about her family’s reaction and what would happen to them if Grahame had to travel to the US for work. Grahame visited her in New York after they had been engaged for five months.
“Knowing my family’s opinions on mixed marriages, I wanted to know if they would really accept Grahame and not just tolerate him,” the woman stated.
Leslie, on the other hand, didn’t have to worry because Grahame was Australian.
“He didn’t feel self-conscious about his circumstances, in contrast to many white Americans.” He fit in with my friends effortlessly since he liked them. And he was well-liked by both men and women.
Even though they didn’t face the same racial challenges as the rest of the country, Leslie claimed she got hate mail while living in New York as a result of their marriage.
Leslie stated about her marriage in an interview with PEOPLE, “It wasn’t as difficult as I anticipated.” “I believe it’s because Grahame wasn’t an American white man.” But of course, we received mail.
Leslie stated, “When I go on tour in the United States, I sometimes get anonymous letters about being married to a white man.” “I recall getting one in Detroit, of all places.” It was addressed to “The Little Negro Entertainer” when it arrived at the club. They are uncomfortable to read and are talked about in that manner a lot.
Grahame took up the role of manager for Leslie, and the couple had two daughters: Danielle in 1970 and Justice in 1976.
A year following the birth of their second child, in 1977, Leslie secured the main part in the miniseries “Roots.” She received an Emmy nomination for the series in which she played Kizzy.
Two years later, she played Lillian Rogers Parks in the miniseries “Backstairs at the White House,” for which she received an Emmy nomination in the Best Actress category.
Her hosting of the NBC game program “Fantasy” earned her a Daytime Emmy Award in 1983. She also as Rose Keefer on “All My Children” in 1996.
She has appeared in TV shows in her own right, including Magnum P.I., Hollywood Squares, The Muppet Show, Family Guy, and I Spy.
Leslie and Grahame are blissfully married after 55 years of marriage and have a granddaughter named Cassidy.
Leslie said of her happy marriage, “We have a lot of fun together, but it’s not always sunshine and roses.” When we’re together, we enjoy ourselves.
The love between these two has withstood the test of time and beyond all expectations. Because they have always supported one another and are loyal to one another, they encourage one another.
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