In blended families, it’s common for parents to have differing views on how to handle their children. Colleen’s husband continues to provide financial support to his 19-year-old daughter, who is pregnant and already a mother of two. Meanwhile, Colleen feels that her stepdaughter should not be coddled and needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions. This clash in parenting styles led to a situation that went terribly wrong, and Colleen has shared her story with us.
Here is Colleen’s letter:
Hi Colleen! Thank you for sharing your story with us. We’ve prepared 4 pieces of advice that we believe can help you.
Seek mediation or couples counseling.
Given the emotional and financial conflicts, involving a neutral third party could help. A mediator or counselor can facilitate a discussion between you and your husband to address the underlying issues.
This professional might help clarify each other’s perspectives, restore communication, and find a resolution that acknowledges both your concerns and your husband’s responsibilities.
Reevaluate financial decisions and transparency.
Consider discussing the financial decisions and future planning openly with your husband. Since you drained the shared savings account without his consent, it’s crucial to establish a clear, mutually agreed-upon approach to handling finances moving forward.
This might involve setting up separate accounts for personal expenditures and jointly managed accounts for shared expenses, ensuring that both parties are informed and agree on financial decisions.
Engage in a direct conversation with your stepdaughter.
It may be beneficial to address the situation directly with your stepdaughter. An honest conversation about her expectations and how her actions have impacted your relationship with her father could help clear misunderstandings.
Express your intentions and concerns, and listen to her perspective to potentially reach a better understanding and find common ground.
Consider moving out temporarily for reflection.
If the tension remains high and communication isn’t improving, temporarily moving out might provide space for both you and your husband to reflect on the situation. This physical distance could give you time to think about your relationship and future steps without the constant emotional strain.
Use this time to assess what you both need and whether there’s a path forward that respects both your needs and your husband’s.
Another stepmom dealing with tension is Claudia. When her 32-year-old stepdaughter lost her job and decided to move back in with her father, Claudia insisted that she pay rent. This decision led to an unexpected turn of events, and she reached out to us for advice. Read her story here.
Terry Crews’ wife says their marriage almost ended three times.
Terry Crews’ wife, Rebecca, shared that their marriage almost ended in divorce three times, but they worked through their issues after Terry decided to focus on “working on himself.”
In an interview with DailyMail.com, Rebecca, who’s been married to Terry for 35 years, spoke about how much she admires his determination but also revealed they’ve had tough times, even coming close to being homeless.
She explained that their shared faith has been important in their relationship. Even when things were difficult, they both kept trying, believing that they chose each other for a reason. Rebecca said they’ve had a few moments where they could have ended their marriage, but each time, one of them wanted to stay and worked hard to make things better.
Rebecca Crews, mother of five and the founder of a new boutique in Pasadena, shared more about her relationship with her husband, Terry. She explained that their marriage almost ended three times. The first time, she wanted out, but Terry fought to keep them together. The second time, he wanted to leave, but she fought for him. The third time, Terry had to face his addiction, and Rebecca kicked him out.
Terry begged her to stay, but Rebecca told him he’d messed up. He went to work on himself, became a better person, but Rebecca said he could still improve.
Both Terry and Rebecca have been open about their struggles, and in 2021, Terry admitted that his porn addiction nearly ruined their marriage.
When asked what makes a marriage last, Rebecca said it’s important to make sure both people are getting what they want. She knew what she wanted when she married Terry, and it turned out they shared similar goals. She warned that couples who don’t share the same dreams, like wanting children, can face big problems.
Rebecca added that even though it’s been tough, she always saw Terry as a good guy and her friend, and that helped them get through the hard times.
Rebecca Crews shared that she loved Terry as a person before she fell in love with him, and he’s still her friend. She joked that she can sometimes argue with him and then hug him right after, saying, “but you’re still my boo.”
Rebecca explained that while she holds Terry to a certain “standard,” forgiveness is important in making their relationship work. She said she often tells him, “You can do better,” and that he admits he’s not perfect. She believes forgiveness is key to staying married, but it has to be sincere. She added that you can’t just keep accepting bad behavior; sometimes you need to step back and let someone feel the consequences.
The couple, who have four daughters and a son, have been through tough times but live in Pasadena, California, and have been together for 25 years.
Rebecca Crews shared that there was a time in their lives when they were close to being homeless. They were just a week away from having to leave their place with nowhere to go when something came through for them at the last moment. They ended up moving just across the street in Burbank.
Now that all of their children have grown up and moved out, Rebecca said she and Terry have more freedom. They travel more and she can even join him while he’s working, making the empty-nester life fun. She joked that Terry can sometimes feel like another child!
With more time on her hands, Rebecca has been focusing on her clothing line. She’s grateful for the support from Terry, both financially and emotionally, and she credits him for helping her build her determination. Rebecca said it’s never too late to follow your dreams, and she now feels bolder and more confident. She even got emotional when her new store in Pasadena was opening, calling it a dream come true and seeing even bigger things ahead.
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