Ryder’s 18th birthday should have been a memorable day, but his father’s absence left him feeling disappointed. Instead of celebrating with his son, his father chose to go on a fishing trip with friends, leaving Ryder devastated and questioning their relationship.
Growing up, Ryder’s life was normal until his parents started arguing when he was seven. By eight, his father was no longer living at home. Ryder vividly remembers his mother explaining the divorce, reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault. After the split, his mom worked hard as an elementary school teacher to provide for him, while his dad became more of a distant figure, often preoccupied with hobbies and weekends spent fishing.
As Ryder approached his 18th birthday, he hoped his father would finally prioritize him. He planned a small party with his mom and friends and even sent a message to his dad. When his father responded with: “I’ll try to be there”, Ryder felt a flicker of hope. However, on the big day, despite all the decorations and a cake baked by his mom, his father didn’t show up.
After waiting hours without any contact from his dad, Ryder called him, only to learn that he was still on the lake, seemingly indifferent to his son’s special day. Ryder felt crushed and hid in his room until his mom found him. He struggled to mask his disappointment, feeling invisible and unimportant.
A week later, his father called, offering to give Ryder a gift. Despite his anger, Ryder agreed to visit. When he arrived, his dad handed him a shiny fishing rod, a gift that felt more like a reminder of his absence than a thoughtful present. Ryder felt betrayed, realizing that his father would never truly prioritize him. When his dad invited him to join a fishing trip with friends, Ryder politely declined, knowing deep down that their relationship would never change.
As he left, holding the fishing rod, Ryder felt a shift within himself. He recognized he didn’t need to chase after someone who didn’t want to be there for him. In the months that followed, he focused on the people who truly cared—his mom and friends. He threw himself into music, practicing the guitar and helping his mom around the house to show his appreciation.
One evening, while washing dishes, his mom asked if he had heard from his father. Ryder shook his head, feeling at peace with his decision to stop waiting. His mom expressed sadness about their relationship, but Ryder reassured her that having her support was more than enough.
Over time, Ryder learned that his self-worth wasn’t dependent on his father’s attention. His experiences taught him an important lesson: sometimes, people won’t fulfill your expectations, and that’s okay. The fishing rod remains in his closet as a reminder not of what he lost, but of what he gained: self-respect, resilience, and the ability to move on from what he couldn’t change.
A Mom of Four Shares the Raw Truth of Postpartum Bodies
Every day, the female body is exposed to more and more judgment from society. Social media feeds are full of unrealistic photos that can really make someone feel uncomfortable in their own skin. For women with postpartum bodies, this topic can be the most sensitive. To support others, this proud mother decided to stop hiding behind filters or pieces of clothing and embrace the flaws that truly make us special.
Most mothers aren’t prepared for the challenges that come after childbirth.
Danisha, a mom of 4, recently started sharing her journey about accepting her body on social media. At first, she was really ashamed and constantly tried to hide her postpartum belly, but with her last baby, she wanted a change.
“I didn’t know that I would have as much loose skin as I do now, and stretch marks. No one ever discussed it, my doctors didn’t discuss it,” the mother explained. “I didn’t know that my body just wouldn’t look the same anymore. But I want to embrace my body, and I’m happy where I’m at.”
Danisha believes a woman’s body creates miracles.
Seeing tons of celebrities and models posing with their pregnant bellies can give us the wrong image. They can make us believe that perfection can exist and that something might be wrong with our own bodies, even lowering our confidence to the point that we forget to love ourselves.
In one of her Instagram posts, she pointed out to other moms that they are loved, saying, “Don’t let society trick you into believing you need to be ’fixed.’ Your body is not wrong, society is!”
Society expects a different image of the female postpartum body.
Women are expected to quickly bounce back to their pre-pregnancy bodies. For many mothers, this can feel like they’re strangers in their own their skin. Fighting against your body means losing the battle in the end, but knowing how to accept it and start loving yourself from all angles is a different type of pure love that can only occur if the mother is 100% ready to do it.
The brutal honesty behind Danisha’s posts makes her even prouder of who she is. “Our body is meant to evolve and change, that is what happens with growth, not everyone’s body will change the same and that’s okay,” she admitted. “My wonderful body carried 4 beautiful blessings, my belly is a reminder of that and signifies growth. It has taken me a long time to accept her, love her, and appreciate her.”
Despite the negative comments that come from everywhere, knowing how to keep your positivity is one of the hardest jobs that people face when they show themselves at their most vulnerable online.
“I have a pouch, I have soft stretchy loose skin. My physical features are not what makes it beautiful, but the fact that my body was able to create life itself for a fourth time. I’m strong as a mother.”
Danisha doesn’t let the negative comments stop her. Showing the raw reality behind a mom’s body is a huge help for other mothers out there as well. “A lot of mamas are unprepared for postpartum.”
It’s a privilege to watch our bodies change as we grow older.
Sometimes, despite all our efforts and hard work to keep our bodies in shape, genetics can get involved and create a different person in the mirror. She explained, “I love it when people tell me that if I had moisturized my skin more then my belly wouldn’t have looked ’this way’ or if I wore a waist trainer I wouldn’t have a pouch and even greater if I dieted or exercised more, then my belly wouldn’t be as ’big.’”
The mother of 4 continued, “The reality is genetics play a big role. My belly is this way because of 4 reasons. I created life 4 times and no oils or creams would have miraculously prevented it. My sagging skin, stretch marks, and other love marks are reminders of bearing my children.”
Every mother is special in her own way and no one deserves to be discriminated against because of their appearance.
“To the mama looking at herself in the mirror: It’s completely normal not to fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes your body outgrew in order to make room for your beautiful blessing. Sizing up is nothing to feel ashamed of,” Danisha declared.
It wasn’t easy, but Danisha started accepting her body.
Understanding how to love stretch marks and accept body changes can be one of the hardest steps that a mom can do. They are a natural response from the body.
“Many would love to have tiger stripes. You can also have them without having children. My tummy was home to 4 of my children, and they love it,” she said.
Beauty comes from both inside and outside.
Regardless of what we look like on the outside, whether we differ in skin color or weight, all people are special in their own way, and our bodies do an amazing job at keeping us alive. In an effort to encourage others around her, this mother points out, “Whether you choose to cover your belly or not, you’re still worthy, still beautiful.”
Here are some similar stories that show us the beauty in every woman’s body.
A Mom of 4 Proudly Documents Her Postpartum Body and Becomes the Dose of Body Positivity We All Need
A Mother Was Told Her Stomach Was “Nasty,” but She Proves How Beautiful Women’s Bodies Really Are
9 Times Ashley Graham Embraced Her Motherhood Journey, From a Postpartum Body to Breastfeeding
8 Celebrity Moms Who Got Honest and Showed Us the Raw Reality of Motherhood
Preview photo credit mama3x__ / Instagram, mama3x__ / Instagram
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