Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
Our thoughts and prayers go out to Jon Bon Jovi and his family for their tragic loss
Days before her birthday, Jon Bon Jovi’s mother Carol Bongiovi passed away.
She was dubbed a “force to be reckoned with” by the singer.
JON Three days prior to being eighty-three, Bon Jovi’s mother, Carol Bongiovi, passed away.
Jon, 62, spoke empathetically about Carol following her death on Tuesday at Monmouth Medical Center in Long Branch, New Jersey.
Jon told PEOPLE, “Our mother was a force to be reckoned with; her spirit and can-do attitude shaped this family.”
“We will miss her terribly.”
Carol, a former Playboy bunny, founded the fan club for her son’s band.
She met her future husband, John Bongiovi, Sr., after she enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps in 1959.
After relocating, they reared their children in Sayreville, New Jersey.
Following that, they relocated to Holmdel, New Jersey, where she lived until her passing.
It was reported that Holmdel Funeral Home will oversee Carol’s private funeral.
Her three children, Jon, Anthony, and Matthew, as well as her 63-year-old husband, will miss her.
Jon has previously stated that when he was a child and desired to be a musician, his parents provided him with “incredible support.”
In November 2020, he said, “Even if you weren’t good at your craft, you could work on it if you thought you were,” to The Big Issue.
“As I grew older, I realized how wonderful my parents’ gift to me was.
“They genuinely believed John F. Kennedy was directing them to travel to the moon.” “You can go to the moon, of course.” Just go, John. I visited that place.
The performer told about how his parents used to take him to concerts when he was seventeen.
When Jon was seventeen, his parents allowed him to perform at events, which allowed him to pursue his aspirations.
“They were always there for me, which was amazing looking back,” he remarked.
“Because I could have to be at school at eight o’clock and get home at one or two in the morning.”
“They just told me to go to school on time, you know that’s my responsibility, but follow your dreams.”
The girl Jon fell in love with in high school, Dorothea Hurley, is the wife he married.
Together, they are parents to three sons, Jesse, Jake, and Romeo, and a thirty-one-year-old daughter, Stephanie.
Model Jake wed Stranger Things actress Millie Bobby Brown in a tiny, private ceremony in May 2024, according to the first story from The Sun.
The parents of Millie and Jon attended the little wedding.
He expressed his excitement for the wedding to The Sun the week prior.
“My grandchildren will have more English ancestry than Italian or any other heritage I may have” That must be absurd, right? The musician screamed.
“Your kids are married and talking to you about having grandchildren all of a sudden? Wow!” In my book, this is the longest chapter.
Leave a Reply