It’s uplifting to witness women supporting each other, whether it’s friends offering help or strangers extending support to those they’ve never met. In this story, a woman quietly left a letter for her ex-boyfriend’s future girlfriend, offering a heads-up about what to anticipate and sharing lessons from her own experience. The new girlfriend shared this moving act of solidarity on Reddit, where she received an outpouring of encouragement and advice from the online community.
She wrote:
“My boyfriend Steve (30m) and I (28f) have been together for 2 years and have been living together for 8 months. I was cleaning our apartment when I found a note in the back of a cabinet that read:
‘Dear Steve’s Future Girlfriend,
I know it’s you reading this because he’d never clean back here. I’m putting this here because I’m leaving him soon and want to warn you about him:
1-He will not clean;
2-He will not listen;
3-He will make everything feel like it’s your fault;
It’s not your fault, he’s just an incompetent man. I’m leaving him, I suggest you do the same.
Best wishes, Natalia'”
She added:
“I read the note and brought it to show to him and hear his response. He immediately ripped it up and said not to listen to it, that she was crazy and untrustworthy. I told him that the fact that he hasn’t found the note in the 5 years since they broke up is a red flag to me because it does mean he’s never cleaned back there and that he has been cleaning less and less since I moved in.
He told me this is just his ex continuing to manipulate and ruin his life, and I was letting it work. We continued to argue along the same lines, and I eventually left to spend the night at a friend’s place.
Steve has been a great boyfriend so far. He gets along with my family. He has given me gifts and flowers and always tells me how much he loves me. He’s not wrong that the cleaning hasn’t really been brought up before, but the note made me realize it had been less and less and that we needed to have a full conversation about this.”
She went on explaining:
“He texted me afterwards saying he’s sorry that I felt like I had to leave, but that it’s a wrong move for me to take a note over our 2-year relationship and to leave him and our pets alone. I don’t know what to do or what to believe right now. I’m contemplating trying to find and reach out to Natalia.
Steve thinks I should come back home and let it go, that his past should not affect our future. He makes it sound like his ex was manipulative and petty throughout their relationship, but I don’t know what to trust.
When we moved in together 8 months ago, the cleaning was 50/50. Since then, he’s been doing things less and less. I have to remind him to do things like to bring his plates to the sink or take out the trash, and I didn’t have to before. The dishes will pile up unless I do them, to the point he’s had leftover food mold on the plates.”
She continued:
“I’m not a confrontational person, so I was just asking him to fix it when it came up. The note made me reflect on it more and try to have an actual full conversation, and I will say I didn’t feel listened to when I talked to him about it.
I tried to use the note to start a conversation about cleaning, and he got so stuck on the fact that I was listening to his ex instead of him, that he wouldn’t listen to what I think are valid concerns. He thinks I’m letting the note have “confirmation bias” so no matter what he says I’ll think he’s in the wrong.
Also, I didn’t leave him permanently, this all happened yesterday and I only spent one night at a friend’s because I didn’t feel like our conversation was going anywhere last night, and he wouldn’t let me sleep until I let it go. I’m going back today and wanted to get advice and feedback before I do.”
Other Redditors chimed in, sharing their own insights and offering advice to her.
- I’m so glad for you. It wasn’t two wasted years since they taught you a valuable lesson. I’m especially grateful for Natalia! Please tell her we love her for her kind solidarity and witty ways. Absolutely, leave a note — but better yet, leave two. One in the same place (he’ll look there; manipulative narcissists aren’t that dumb), and another in an even less likely spot. Sending you my best. You got this, girl! © occasionalpart / Reddit
- Well, he’s not cleaning, he’s not listening to you, and he’s making it out to be your fault “for trusting a note over him.” So, it seems the ex’s assessment might be accurate. It doesn’t look like he’s open to discussing his poor housekeeping, and personally, I don’t think you’ll be able to address it now without the note coming up. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether this is something you can tolerate. It seems he hasn’t learned anything from his last relationship. © VonBoo / Reddit
- You’ve been living together for less than a year, and you’re already having to play mommy, reminding him of basic chores and daily tasks! If Natalia were truly such a manipulative, crazy person, she would have made much harsher and more dramatic accusations than these. © Arya_kidding_me / Reddit
- It’s almost ironic how easy it would have been for him to shut this entire thing down with the simplest of responses: “Hmm, you’re right, I’ll make sure to clean more.” That would have immediately countered points 2 and 3. But he’d rather be right, and he’d rather play the aggrieved party. You didn’t do anything wrong by trying to have a conversation off the back of that note. His reaction should tell you everything. © Mobius_Stripping / Reddit
- I’d be willing to bet money that the note is right. He sounds like the kind of man who will stop doing anything the second he decides a woman is fully trapped. The slow tapering off you’re witnessing is him testing the waters. He needs to figure out whether he just needs to waste enough of your time to get to that stage, or whether you need a ring or a baby to feel trapped. © Extension_Drummer_85 / Reddit
- “Don’t expect to change a man unless he’s in diapers.” This behavior will continue on, he’s gotten away with it before up to a certain point. He wants someone to pick up after him like his mommy.
Any time a guy says, “My ex is/was crazy,” is a MASSIVE red flag right there. It’s something guys have been saying since the dawn of time to belittle their former partners. He’ll say the same thing about you to his next girlfriend. You have to ask yourself, “Was she crazy, or did he drive her crazy with his behavior and laziness?” I’d leave your own note when you do finally dump him. And reach out to his ex, see what she has to say. © Equal-Brilliant2640 / Reddit
When trust is broken between couples, it often leads to a surge of emotional and psychological turmoil, including feelings of uncertainty and profound confusion. In a different scenario, a woman shared a fascinating story of her own sleuthing skills. She discovered her husband was cheating simply by paying close attention to his breakfast order.
Marry the guy who doesn’t know what this is
In today’s fast-paced world, trends come and go in the blink of an eye. From the latest technology to social media crazes, it seems like everyone is trying to keep up. But every once in a while, you come across someone who has no clue about certain trends, and in this case, a guy who doesn’t know what this object is might just be marriage material.
If you’re wondering what’s in the image, it’s a part of a pod or electronic cigarette (vape)—a devnot recognizing this might actually be a good thing.
1. A Healthier Lifestyle and Better Choices
If a guy doesn’t recognize a vape pod, it’s a pretty good indication that he doesn’t vape or smoke. That’s already a great sign for a healthy lifestyle.
🚭 Why is this important?
- Smoking and vaping have been linked to various health issues, including lung problems and cardiovascular diseases.
- Being with a non-smoker means fewer risks of second-hand smoke exposure.
- It also means he’s likely more conscious about his overall well-being, which is a great quality in a life partner.
Wouldn’t you want a guy who prioritizes health and wellness? If he has no clue what vaping devices look like, you’re already winning!
2. Less Influence from Harmful Trends
We live in a time where trends dictate lifestyles—from viral challenges to new habits that people pick up just because “everyone’s doing it.” The vaping trend is one of those things that became wildly popular due to social influence, despite its risks.
Video : 7 Types Of Men Types Of Men You Should Not Marry
If your guy doesn’t know what a vape pod is, it means:
✅ He doesn’t follow every single trend blindly.
✅ He doesn’t feel the need to “fit in” with unhealthy habits.
✅ He likely thinks for himself instead of succumbing to peer pressure.
And let’s be honest—independent thinking is attractive.
3. A Man Who Values Meaningful Habits
Not knowing what a vape pod is doesn’t mean he’s completely unaware of the world—it just means that his focus is elsewhere. Maybe he’s more into fitness, books, or personal growth.
💡 Signs you’re with a guy who values meaningful habits:
- He prefers working out over partying.
- He enjoys deep conversations instead of mindless trends.
- He spends his time on things that actually improve his life instead of fleeting habits.
If you’re looking for a stable, grounded, and responsible partner, someone who isn’t easily swayed by trends is a fantastic choice.
4. A More Financially Responsible Partner
Let’s talk money for a second. Vaping isn’t cheap. While it may seem like a small expense, it adds up over time.
💰 A guy who doesn’t vape is likely to:
✔️ Spend his money on more valuable things.
✔️ Make smarter financial choices.
✔️ Avoid unnecessary spending on addictive habits.
Would you rather be with someone who spends hundreds of dollars a year on vape refills, or someone who invests in his future? The choice is obvious.
5. A Man Who Values Long-Term Well-Being
Life is about building a future, and the habits we form today impact the life we create tomorrow. A guy who doesn’t know what a vape pod is has likely never been involved in that world, meaning he prioritizes his long-term well-being.
🛤 What does this tell you?
- He’s more likely to have discipline and self-control.
- He makes decisions based on longevity, not just instant gratification.
- He is conscious about his health and future.
Wouldn’t you want to be with someone who plans for a long, happy, and healthy life with you?
6. Someone Who’s Not Caught Up in the “Cool” Factor
In a world where people do things just to look cool, there’s something refreshing about a guy who simply doesn’t care about those things.
🔥 Why this is attractive:
- He’s authentic.
- He doesn’t feel pressured to “fit in.”
- He values his personal choices over societal expectations.
This kind of confidence is rare—and incredibly attractive.
Video : How To Choose A Partner Wisely
Final Thoughts: The Kind of Guy You Should Marry
Of course, not knowing what a vape pod is doesn’t automatically make someone a perfect partner, but it does suggest qualities that are worth appreciating—health-consciousness, independence, responsibility, and authenticity.
If you find a guy who has never touched a vape, doesn’t follow every trend, makes wise financial choices, and prioritizes his long-term well-being—marry him!
Because in a world where so many people get caught up in temporary habits, having a partner who focuses on the bigger picture is priceless.
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