My mother did everything in her power to prevent me from seeing my father after they divorced. But once my dad tricked me on the phone, and everything changed.
“I don’t want to see you ever again!” my mom yelled as my father got into the car and left our home forever. That was my earliest memory. Dad left when I was two years old after a huge fight with my mother.
They got divorced, and I didn’t see him for many years. As I got older, I realized that my mother was preventing me from seeing my father. “I want to visit Dad. Please!” I begged when I was ten years old.
“No! You can’t go see him. He’s busy with his new family and doesn’t want to see you,” she replied.
“I know that’s not true! You’re lying to me! I talk to him on the phone, and he wants to see me!” I cried, pleading with her to see my father.
“Don’t talk back to me, Alexandra! Your father left us and doesn’t deserve to have a relationship with you now,” Mom said. I thought that was unfair, but I was still just a child.
My dad and I kept in constant contact over the phone, but I really wanted to spend time with him, and I knew he wanted the same. However, Mom was an expert at getting her way.
As a teenager, I decided to go on my own to see him, and she called the cops on me. They picked me up before I could reach his house and drove me back home.
“The next time you try to disobey me, I will say that your father kidnapped you, and he will go to jail where he belongs!” she screamed at me when the cops left.
Back then, I thought she was doing the right thing for me, but as I grew up, I realized that it was pure selfishness on her part. I didn’t want to hang out with her or do anything. I also started rebelling at school. She drove a huge wedge between us, and I didn’t care anymore.
“Alexandra, do you want to go shopping with me?” she asked me one day. I was 17 years old and had grown to almost hate her.
“Nope,” I answered.
“How about the movies?”
“Nope.”
“Why don’t you want to do anything with me?” she whined.
“Really? You’re asking me that question? You know exactly why I treat you this way,” I said in a bored tone.
“I have done nothing to you! All the sacrifices I have made for you, and you’re so ungrateful!” Mom yelled once more.
“Yeah, ok. Close the door, please,” I added.
By then, I was immune to her tantrums and how she victimized herself to get away with things. I moved out as soon as I turned 18 and never looked back.
But seeing my dad wasn’t any easier. I had to work two jobs and go to school. He was also busy with work, and his second wife had just delivered twins by then. Neither of us had time, so we put it off.
I met with him on a Saturday afternoon at his house and met his wife. They showed me the twins, and we talked for a while. But it felt so awkward that I didn’t want to do it again. Maybe my mother had ruined any chance I had at a relationship with him.
We talked on the phone for a long time once a week. I asked about the twins and told him about my life. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked for us. Years went by this way. I didn’t hear of my mother until I was 29 years old.
“Hey, Alexandra,” she spoke on the phone tentatively.
“Oh, hey, Mom,” I answered, confused with her call.
“We haven’t talked in a long time. How are you?” she asked.
“I’m fine. How about you?” I replied. We chitchatted awkwardly for a few minutes, and then she got to the point.
“Listen, honey. I was hoping that we could work on mending our relationship. How does that sound?” Mom wondered.
“I don’t know. Are you going to apologize for everything?” I retorted.
“I…I still don’t think I did anything wrong. I was trying to protect you from being hurt like I was when you were little. But I understand that you felt differently,” she explained.
“So, you’re not apologizing?” I continued, tired of this conversation. She was never going to acknowledge her wrongs, and I had no time for that.
“Alexandra! I’m your mother. You haven’t talked to me in years! You’re so selfish!” she wailed, raising her voice.
“Ok, goodbye,” I said and hung up the phone. She tried calling me back, but I ignored her. I would not let her back into my life until she apologized.
Another year went by, and I received a strange call from my dad. He never called during working hours. “Alexandra! This is an emergency! Can you come to see me?” Dad said urgently through the phone.
“What? Dad? What’s going on?” I asked, worried.
“I sent you an address. Come quickly! This is a matter of life or death!” he told me and hung up.
I went to my boss, took a day off work, and ran to my car. But the address Dad gave me took me right to an amusement park close to his house.
“Hey, honey!” he smiled when I met him at the front gate.
“Dad! Why are we here? What’s the emergency?” I asked, confused.
“The emergency is that you and I never got to do all the fun things father and daughters do over the years. We have put off building a real relationship, and I don’t want to waste any more time. Let’s go have fun!” Dad explained.
“Can you go on the rides? I know you have had some health problems lately,” I said hesitantly.
“I’m fit as a fiddle. Come on!” he urged.
We spent the entire day at the park and talked about everything. I felt like a child for the first time in my life, and it was wonderful.
I also told him about my problems with Mom and how hard it was when she didn’t let me see him. “Your mother is complicated and full of pride. But she’s not evil. We didn’t work out, and she couldn’t take it,” he started.
“Yeah, I wished I could’ve lived with you,” I told him.
“Well, I was pretty lost for many years trying to figure things out. We might have hated each other. But here we are, and I think you should patch things up with her. Life is too short to hold grudges,” he said.
After that marvelous day at the park, we went to dinner. When I got home, I called Mom and told her everything I felt regarding my dad. How she hurt me back then by not letting me spend time with him and how fun our day had been. She cried and apologized to me for the first time. I felt like she understood, and we started talking more often.
Meanwhile, I grew closer to my dad and loved babysitting my twin half-siblings. We even took them to the amusement park for a fun day too.
I finally had the childhood I always wanted.
What can we learn from this story?
Divorce happens between couples, not with children. Alexandra’s mother didn’t understand that her father divorced her but wanted a relationship with their daughter.
Life is too short for grudges. Alexandra’s father is right. Sometimes, it’s better to forgive for your own sake. Let go of things that make you angry, and your mental health will improve.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
From Dancing Queen to Mystery: What Made Cynthia Rhodes Leave the Spotlight
When Cynthia Rhodes wasn’t “Staying Alive” on the dance floor with John Travolta, she was “Dirty Dancing” with Patrick Swayze.
Rhodes, who will turn 67 in November 2023, had a great career with famous dance movies from the 1980s. However, she chose to step away from the spotlight at the height of her fame.
Keep reading to find out why this talented actress, singer, and dancer retired so early!
Cynthia Rhodes was born in Nashville, Tennessee. She started her acting career with a small role in the 1980 musical fantasy film **Xanadu**, which starred the late Olivia Newton-John and Gene Kelly.
Her role as Tina Tech, a dancer in the 1983 film **Flashdance**, led to a bigger part later that year as John Travolta’s love interest in **Staying Alive**, the sequel to **Saturday Night Fever**, directed by Sylvester Stallone.
In 1987, she played her most famous role as Penny Johnson, a dance instructor at a resort hotel in **Dirty Dancing**.
In her role as Penny, Cynthia Rhodes shows off her amazing dance skills with graceful and flashy Mambo moves alongside the late Patrick Swayze. She also shares some very emotional and heartbreaking scenes with him.
Rhodes described her character Penny as having an “edge.” Penny both charmed and shocked viewers as she dealt with a difficult storyline involving a botched illegal abortion.
The film includes a socially relevant subplot about reproductive rights, with Rhodes at the center of it all. This helped position the three lead characters—Swayze as Johnny, Jennifer Grey as Baby, and Rhodes as Penny—for stardom.
“She’s from South Philly and she’s had a rough life,” Rhodes said about her character. “She’s got a sweetness about her, but it’s hidden because she’s been through a lot, and she has sort of put up a wall.” Rhodes added, “In the end, I think she finally realizes that life does go on.”
Life went on for Cynthia Rhodes, but not in the way her fans hoped.
After training for ten hours a day to prepare for her role as Penny, Rhodes found dancing to be “really hard.” She shared, “That’s why I keep saying I’m never going to dance again. I’m tired of dancing. My bones are hurting, and my back hurts all the time.” She added, “Every time I say, ‘That’s it, I don’t want to dance anymore,’ I get another film. I’m not going to turn down work! I feel very fortunate to be in films that involve dancing. But I just want a chance to do some dramatic work without dancing. Just give me a straight acting part.”
In the same year that *Dirty Dancing* was released, the 31-year-old Rhodes, who had many role options and admirers, appeared in the music video for “Don’t Mean Nothing” by Richard Marx. He is also known for the song “Right Here Waiting,” which was famously written for Rhodes in 1989.
In 1989, Rhodes married the Grammy Award-winning singer Richard Marx, and the couple welcomed their first child, Brandon, in 1990. They later had two more sons, Lucas in 1992 and Jesse in 1994.
According to Marx, Rhodes, who had previously trained for the Olympics, decided to retire in 1990 to focus on raising their children. He mentioned that this choice was also due to the “intense physical pain” her dance moves caused her.
“I thought, ‘This won’t last; she’s definitely going to want to come back to work and do films.’ But she found fulfillment in being a mom that completely overshadowed any desire she had to make movies,” Marx, now 59, explained. “Even if you’re her biggest fan, as good as you think she was as a dancer, singer, or actress, you should see her as a mom.”
Rhodes, who began dancing at just three years old, found that she was much happier being a mom and giving her body the rest it needed.
“The thing was, I used to never be sore. In fact, I was a gymnast. Now it’s frustrating… I never used to stretch, but now I have to stretch before I dance. I love to dance, but if I never did it again, I wouldn’t be sorry,” Rhodes said.
Since then, she hasn’t looked back. The last time she appeared on screen was in the 1991 film *Curse of the Crystal Eye.*
The former Hollywood starlet divorced Marx in 2014, and he married MTV’s first Latina host, Daisy Fuentes, the following year.
As for her sons, all three are following in the footsteps of their famous parents. Brandon is now a music producer and singer, while Lucas has made a name for himself as a singer and actor, appearing in TV series like *The Chicago Code*, *The Mob Doctor*, *Chicago P.D.*, and *Parenthood*. The youngest son, Jesse, has joined a metal band and is working on his own music.
Dancing requires a high level of athleticism, so while we miss seeing Cynthia Rhodes, we completely understand why she chose to leave Hollywood.
What are your favorite films featuring her?
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