Mariska Hargitay’s journey to motherhood is truly inspiring. Known for her iconic role on “Law & Order: SVU,” her real-life story revolves around love, resilience, and the joy of raising three children. The actress’s path to building a family is filled with unexpected blessings and deep gratitude.
Mariska Hargitay’s journey into motherhood began in her early 40s when she gave birth to her first child. Despite the challenges of being a first-time mother later in life, she wholeheartedly and joyfully embraced motherhood.
Her family grew when she and her husband, actor Peter Hermann, welcomed two more children within a year. Each child brought unique blessings into their lives, and Mariska cherishes the unexpected path that led her to become a mother of three.
Long before becoming a mother, Mariska always envisioned having her own family. From a young age, she knew motherhood was part of her life plans, a desire deeply rooted in her own upbringing.
A Childhood of Glitz and Heartbreak: The Early Life of Mariska Hargitay
Mariska is an actress, who added producing and directing to her list of talents. She was born to the glamorous actress Jayne Mansfield and the former Mr. Universe Mickey Hargitay on January 23, 1964.
Being born into Hollywood royalty, Mariska’s early life was surrounded by fame and glitz. This set a unique backdrop for her childhood. However, her early years were also marked by tragedy.
When Mariska was just three years old, her mother died in a car accident on June 29, 1967. This loss left a lasting scar on the actress, both physically and emotionally.
The actress expressed, “I clearly was in that frozen place for a lot of my childhood—of trying to survive, actually trying to survive. My life has been a process of unpeeling the layers and trust and trusting again.”
Despite this tragic beginning, Mariska’s parents’ legacy played a significant role in shaping her character. Her father, Mickey, raised her with discipline and love, teaching her the importance of hard work and resilience.
He ensured she had a normal upbringing. Mariska joined the swim team, ran cross-country, played volleyball, and by 1982, she was crowned Miss Beverly Hills. Despite her accomplishments, she was always aware of the darker side of life.
The actress later explained that she learned about crisis early and realized that life offers no guarantees, but we must keep moving forward and transform our experiences.
She considers this ability to be her superpower and sees it as a gift from experiencing trauma early in life. Despite these challenges, Mariska went on to live a full and fulfilling life.
Embracing Motherhood: Mariska’s Journey from Daughter to Mom
For Mariska, 2004 marked the beginning of a new phase in her life. That year, she married Peter, and on June 28, 2006, the actress welcomed her first child, August Miklos Friedrich Hermann, at 42.
Starting this journey into motherhood was easy for Mariska as she knew from a young age that she was meant for it. Despite losing her mother, she never lacked a maternal figure in her life. The actress was raised by her father’s third wife, Ellen Siano Hargitay, who never made her feel like an outsider.
Mariska reminisced, “I called her Mom. She really claimed us. She never had biological kids of her own, and to this day we are her kids. So we were blessed that she really embraced us and loved us so quickly. And I was very fortunate to have a maternal figure in my life after such a horrific accident.”
Additionally, while Ellen’s motherly act prepared Mariska for being a mom, it also stirred in her the desire to have children by other means. The actress had grown up realizing that being a mother did not have to be biological.
A Dream Fulfilled: The Adoption of Amaya Josephine
After a few years of becoming parents, Mariska and Peter, who came from big families, decided it was time to expand theirs. They were also not the only ones clamoring for more kids around the house. Their son August also wanted siblings.
However, the actress was over 40, and at her age at the time, pregnancies were never easy. Knowing she and her husband had so much love to give, Mariska was hopeful. She said, “I was really letting the chips fall as they might, because I do think so much is up to God.”
Mariska didn’t know how she was going to have more children, but she knew it was something that would happen. The actress remarked, “I always said, ‘I don’t know how this is going to end up. I don’t know if I’m going to get pregnant and have twins.’”
Despite having no clue, there was something she was sure of, and that was adoption. She recalled not knowing if someone would leave a baby on her doorstep. Nevertheless, she said, “But I really did think that down the line, Peter and I would adopt a child. That was always part of the plan.”
In early April 2011, Mariska and Peter’s plan came to fruition as they welcomed their second child, Amaya Josephine Hermann. Their daughter had been born in the United States about a week before her adoption.
As soon as the couple decided to adopt, they did not limit themselves as they considered international and domestic adoption. Mariska revealed they had talked about the idea of mixed-race adoptions, and were excited to become a multi-racial family.
The actress’s excitement began even before Amaya joined the family. Mariska had revealed, “I’m deliriously happy. From the minute she was born, she was just surprisingly alert and so full of love.”
The second time Mother was not alone in her excitement. August, who was less than five at the time, was also happy to have a baby sister. His Mom disclosed, “He is over the moon. He calls her his baby because he says the whole thing was his idea. He always talks about how he’s going to protect her. He’s going to be a great big brother.”
A Brother’s Dream: The Joyous Arrival of Andrew Nicolas
August, who prided himself as a big brother, was very hands-on in his sister’s life. He reportedly even participated in picking out her name. However, seeing as he thought it was his idea for her to join the family, he wanted yet another sibling.
Six months after Amaya came home as a newborn, August’s wish was fulfilled as he welcomed his baby brother, Andrew Nicolas Hermann, in October 2011. This time, Andrew was not a newborn, as he had been born in the summer of that year.
Mariska noted, “August thinks this was all his idea! He said, ‘I want a baby sister,’ and Amaya came. Then he said, ‘I want a baby brother,’ and Andrew came. August is feeling pretty good and pretty powerful!”
While August Miklos Friedrich Hermann felt powerful, Mariska was feeling a range of positive emotions. She said, “We adopted Amaya, and Andrew, I always describe it as this angel that fell out of the sky, because he was a little unexpected. [sic]”
Andrew Nicolas, Peter Hermann, and Mariska Hargitay at the ceremony honoring Mariska Hargitay with a Star on The Hollywood Walk of Fame on November 8, 2013, in Hollywood. | Source: Getty Images
The adoption of Andrew was not something Peter and Mariska had planned for at the time it happened. The couple had initially planned to adopt another baby a year or more after Amaya joined their household.
However, things happened differently. The actress revealed that their lawyer suddenly called them to inform them about Andrew. Their lawyer noted that it was an amazing opportunity, and the couple, in that moment, had never been more sure about having him in their lives.
The swiftness and timing of Andrew joining their family makes the actress believe her son “fell out of the sky.” Nevertheless, Mariska knows that it’s not an easy journey.
She once remarked, “I’m not gonna lie, there were wrenching moments. I say to everybody, ‘Adoption is not for the faint of heart.’” But, on some days, the actress feels like she’s living in a dream world. She said, “I just sit and pinch myself.”
Mariska Hargitay with Amaya, Andrew, and August at The Children’s Museum Of The East End 5th Annual Family Fair on July 20, 2013, in Bridgehampton, New York. | Source: Getty Images
Family and Fulfillment: Mariska Hargitay on Life as a Mother of Three
At 47, Mariska, who initially didn’t think it was possible to love more than one kid, had become a mom of three. She said, “You know you have one kid, and then you think, oh my gosh, I’ll never love another kid, and then the second one comes, and you can’t believe that you love them, and then the third one fell out of sky.”
Becoming a mother did not only teach Mariska about her capacity to love, it did more. She noted, “Becoming a parent erased many of my negative childhood feelings and filled them in with something new,” some of which include trying out new cultures when it comes to their cuisines.
The actress is not the only one to have spoken to the media about their family of five. Peter Hermann’s love for his family is always evident even though gets private about their kids. However, he expressed his thoughts on the unconventional manner in which their family grew.
The actor divulged, “It’s funny, I always get so private about our kids, but I think that the easiest way or the easiest answer is we just wanted a bigger family and we feel incredibly blessed.”
In 2018, Mariska also opened up about her life with the kids as she graced the cover of People’s magazine. She said, “The thing that’s made me a better parent is my kids. Because they taught me to really listen. My husband is my North Star, and my kids are my teachers.”
Not only did they make her a better parent, they also gave her something perfect in life. The actress revealed, “Our family is so perfect, or at least perfect for me. Together we’re just this whole, happy, joyful, chaotic, crazy unit. I’ve never known anything that was more right.”
Despite having a crazy and chaotic unit, Mariska and Peter work together to get the results they desire. Even though they have different parenting styles, the couple complement each other, with the actress revealing that her husband knows everything she doesn’t know.
Shortly before turning 60 in 2024, Mariska reflected on her life’s journey, career, motherhood, and more. The actress had countless reasons to be thankful.
Peter Hermann and Mariska Hargitay with their children, August, Andrew, and Amaya at the 2023 Stuttering Association For The Young (SAY) Benefit Gala on May 22, 2023, in New York City. | Source: Getty Images
One of the things Mariska was thankful for was the timing when she started her family. She said, “I’m so grateful that I’m an older mom. Grateful that I became successful older. I don’t know if I could have handled it when I was younger.”
The actress then compared what she was like in her younger days. She remembered that in her younger years, she struggled to be present, but as she got older, she learned to accept and appreciate life more deeply.
She noted, “And now I’m going to savor this moment. I want to share my lessons and where there is pain that I can fix that really inspires me to lighten the load.”
Mariska’s journey shows her strength and love. Starting her family in her early 40s, she faced the challenges and joys of raising three children with Peter. Their story is full of unexpected blessings and deep gratitude. As she cherishes her family, Mariska inspires us to embrace life’s surprises and the power of love at any age.
I Was the Only One from My Family Who Wasn’t Invited to My Cousin’s Wedding—When I Learned Why, I Lost It
Everyone in my family was invited to my cousin’s wedding — except me. I showed up anyway, thinking it was a mistake. But when my cousin pulled me aside and told me the real reason she didn’t want me there… I swear, I’ve never felt anything hit me like that.
I stared at my reflection in the full-length mirror, smoothing down the lilac fabric of my new dress. The subtle sparkles caught the light as I turned, a small smile playing on my lips. For once, I felt pretty and wanted.
Portrait of a gorgeous woman in a lilac dress | Source: Midjourney
“Kylie, are you ready?” Mom called from downstairs. “We need to leave in 10 minutes!”
“Almost!” I shouted back, giving my curled hair one final spritz of hairspray.
This was Debra’s big day. She was my cousin, my childhood best friend, and practically my sister growing up. I couldn’t wait to see her walk down the aisle.
My phone buzzed with a text from my sister, Emma.
“Already at the venue. Where are you guys?”
I typed back quickly: “On our way. Save me a seat!”
Little did I know, there wouldn’t be a seat for me at all.
A delighted woman looking at her phone | Source: Midjourney
“You look beautiful, sweetie,” Dad said as I descended the stairs. “That dress is worth every penny of your babysitting money.”
I twirled, feeling the fabric swish around my knees. “Thanks, Dad. I wanted to look nice for Debra’s photos.”
Mom smiled, ushering us toward the door. “Let’s go celebrate her wedding!”
“I can’t believe Debra is actually getting married,” I said, sliding into the backseat of our sedan. “Seems like just yesterday we were playing dress-up with her mom’s clothes.”
“You girls grew up too fast,” Mom sighed, adjusting her necklace in the rearview mirror. “Time flies.”
Dad turned the key in the ignition. “Let’s make some new memories today.”
If only he knew what kind of memories we’d be making.
A man driving a car | Source: Pexels
The venue was stunning. A renovated barn with fairy lights strung across wooden beams, and white roses and baby’s breath adorned every surface. Guests in formal wear milled about, champagne flutes in hand.
I spotted my brother, Ryan, near the entrance and waved.
“Hey, sis,” he said, ruffling my hair. “You look nice.”
I swatted his hand away. “Don’t mess up my curls! I spent forever on them.”
“Have you seen Debra yet?” Mom asked.
Ryan shook his head. “Emma’s with the bridal party. I think they’re in some room in the back.”
I fidgeted with excitement. “I’m going to say hi before the ceremony.”
An excited woman in a wedding venue | Source: Midjourney
I weaved through clusters of guests, smiling politely at distant relatives and strangers alike. The hallway to the bridal suite was quiet, away from the growing crowd. I smoothed my dress one more time before knocking.
A bridesmaid I didn’t recognize opened the door, her perfectly contoured face registering confusion. “Yes?”
“I’m Kylie, Debra’s cousin. Is she in there?”
The girl turned. “Deb, your cousin is here.”
There was a pause, then Debra appeared in the doorway. She looked breathtaking in her white gown, her hair swept up elegantly. But when her eyes met mine, her smile faded.
“Kylie? What are you doing here?”
The question hit me like a slap. “What do you mean? I came for your wedding.”
A shocked bride | Source: Midjourney
Her eyes darted past me, then she stepped into the hallway, pulling the door closed behind her.
“Why did you come?” she asked in a low voice.
I blinked, confused. “What do you mean? The invitation was for the family. I thought I was —”
“I didn’t invite you.”
The words hung between us, sharp and cold.
“What… why?”
Before she could answer, footsteps approached, and a handsome man in a tuxedo appeared. It was Brian, the groom. His face lit up when he saw me.
“Hey! So glad you came! Debra told me you couldn’t make it. Nice surprise!”
I looked at him, then at Debra, whose face had gone pale.
A man smiling | Source: Midjourney
“Brian, can you give us a second?” she asked nervously.
He shrugged, leaned in to kiss her cheek, and walked away whistling.
Debra turned back to me, her arms crossed. “Like you don’t know?”
“Know what? Debra, what are you talking about?”
She sighed heavily, glancing around to make sure no one was listening.
“When Brian’s family first saw pictures of you… the Christmas party ones? They kept asking who you were. Said you were so young and beautiful, asked if you were a model. When I said you were also studying engineering and acing it, they were even more impressed.”
I stared at her, uncomprehending. This couldn’t be happening.
A stunned woman | Source: Midjourney
“And then his mother said, ‘Are you sure she’s the cousin and not the bride? I smiled through it, but I was dying inside. I wanted them to focus on ME. On MY engagement. Not YOU.”
“You didn’t invite me because… because you thought I’d look better than you?”
“You wouldn’t understand. You’ve always been the pretty and smart one. Everything comes easy to you.”
“Easy? You think my life is easy? I work my butt off for my grades. And pretty? I’ve spent most of high school feeling invisible!”
A distressed woman looking at someone with disbelief | Source: Midjourney
“Well, you’re not invisible to Brian’s family,” she snapped. “I didn’t want you to come and… steal the spotlight, okay? I didn’t want you to outshine me on my own wedding day.”
The unfairness of it all crashed over me. All this time I thought we were growing apart because she was busy with college, Brian, and her adult life. But it was jealousy… over things I couldn’t even control.
“So that’s why you’ve been so distant? Because you’re jealous? I thought we were family.”
“We are. But you wouldn’t understand.”
“No, I don’t. I don’t understand how you could exclude only me from your wedding. How you could let me get dressed up, excited to celebrate you, only to tell me I’m not wanted because I might what? Be too pretty? Too smart? What did you tell everyone else about why I wasn’t invited?”
An emotionally overwhelmed woman | Source: Midjourney
“I said you had a conflict,” she mumbled. “A school thing.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “That’s messed up, Debra.”
A tear slipped down my cheek. I wiped it away, careful not to smudge my mascara. “If you feel better without me here, I’ll leave. I didn’t mean to make your day harder. But I never thought being me would make you feel so small. That breaks my heart more than anything.”
Debra’s eyes welled up, and before I could step back, she pulled me into a hug.
“I’m sorry. I just… I let my insecurity get the best of me. I’ve been so stressed about this wedding and fitting in with Brian’s family. They’re all so perfect and polished… and I feel like I’m not good enough.”
A guilty bride | Source: Midjourney
I stood stiffly in her embrace, unsure how to respond. Part of me wanted to forgive her immediately because this was Debra, who had braided my hair and taught me how to dance. But another part felt deeply wounded.
“You hurt me. I thought I did something wrong. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out why you’ve been avoiding me all these years. You were still chatty with my siblings like always… but with me, it was like you flipped a switch.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Please stay. Please.”
“Are you sure? What about Brian’s family?”
A sad woman | Source: Midjourney
“Screw what they think,” she said, a flash of the old Debra returning. “You’re my family. I want you here. I’ve been so stupid. Please forgive me… please.”
A bridesmaid poked her head out. “Deb, it’s almost time.”
Debra nodded, then turned back to me. “Will you stay?”
I looked at her, surrounded by luxury, about to marry the man she loved, and still somehow insecure.
“I’ll stay. Not because you asked me to, but because I choose to. For us.”
“Thank you. I need to finish getting ready, but… we’ll talk more later?”
“Go. Be a bride. I’ll be cheering for you.”
She smiled, a real smile this time, before disappearing back into the bridal suite.
A relieved and emotional bride | Source: Midjourney
I leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths. What a mess. But at least now I knew the truth.
***
The ceremony was beautiful. I sat with my parents, watching as Debra and Brian exchanged vows beneath an arch of white roses. When they were pronounced husband and wife, I cheered as loudly as anyone.
At the reception, I kept to myself, nursing a glass of sparkling cider near the edge of the dance floor. My brother found me there.
“Why the long face?” Ryan asked, bumping my shoulder with his. “Wedding food not up to your standards?”
I forced a smile. “Just tired.”
“Liar. What’s going on?”
A suspicious man | Source: Midjourney
I sighed, knowing he wouldn’t let it go. “Did you know Debra didn’t actually invite me?”
Ryan’s eyebrows shot up. “What? Of course she did.”
“No, she didn’t. She only invited you guys. I was supposed to be excluded.”
“But why would she —”
“Because I’m too pretty, apparently,” I said sarcastically. “Brian’s family saw pictures of me and made some comments, and Debra got jealous.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
A shattered woman running her hand through her hair | Source: Midjourney
“Yeah, well.” I shrugged, trying to seem unbothered. “We talked it out. Sort of.”
“Are you okay?”
I looked across the room to where Debra was laughing with her husband. “I will be. It just… hurts.”
“Want me to go spill some wine on her dress?” Ryan offered, only half-joking.
That made me laugh genuinely. “No. But thanks for the offer.”
“That’s what big brothers are for.” He squeezed my shoulder. “Want to dance? I promise to step on your toes only minimally.”
“Maybe later,” I said. “I think I need some air.”
An anxious woman lost in deep thought | Source: Midjourney
I slipped outside, the cool evening air a relief after the crowded reception hall. I was about to find a quiet spot to sit when a voice stopped me.
“You must be Kylie.”
I turned to see an elegant older woman in a designer dress, her silver hair styled impeccably.
“Yes, I am,” I replied cautiously.
She smiled. “I’m Eleanor, Brian’s mother. I’ve heard so much about you.”
I bet you have, I thought.
A smiling older woman | Source: Midjourney
“Your cousin is lovely,” she continued. “Brian adores her. We’re so pleased to welcome her to our family.”
“Debra’s amazing,” I agreed, meaning it despite everything. “She and Brian seem very happy together.”
Eleanor nodded, studying me with interest. “You know, when I first saw your picture, I told Debra you could be a model.”
And there it was. I swallowed hard. “That’s very kind, but I’m focusing on software engineering. I’m starting college in the fall.”
“Engineering! How impressive. Beauty and brains. Your parents must be very proud.”
“I hope so,” I said, uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.
A software engineer at work | Source: Unsplash
“I must say,” Eleanor continued, “you’ve handled yourself with such grace today. Not many young women would be so mature.”
I stared at her, confused. “What do you mean?”
She lowered her voice. “I know my son’s wife didn’t originally include you in the festivities. I overheard them arguing about it weeks ago.” She touched my arm. “You have such grace, dear. I admire that.”
So she knew. They all knew. Somehow, that made it both better and worse.
“Thank you,” I managed. “Debra and I… we’ve been close our whole lives. I want her to be happy.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re here, dear. It wouldn’t be a proper family celebration without you.”
A delighted older lady | Source: Midjourney
I stood frozen as she walked away, processing her words. This woman, who had unintentionally caused the rift between Debra and me, had just given me more validation than my own cousin.
As I moved to the dance floor and joined by my siblings and parents, I realized something important: we all have our insecurities and moments of weakness. Even people who seem to have it all together. The real test isn’t whether we mess up… it’s what we do afterward.
It wasn’t about outshining anyone or being outshone. It was about standing tall without stepping on anyone else. About being secure enough in your own light that you don’t fear someone else’s brightness.
And Debra? She learned that the people who love you the most will only ever want to see you shine… even if it’s not their turn in the spotlight.
An emotional woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
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