Sometimes you have to remember your worth and stand up for yourself — this is what I learned after giving birth to my fourth child. Although the lesson came at a cost, I realized the alternative would have had far worse consequences.
Life has been overwhelmingly busy lately. Four months ago, I gave birth to a beautiful boy, Dylan, who joined his three siblings, all under eight. As you can imagine, managing a newborn, along with three other young children is exhausting but fulfilling in a way that’s hard to describe.
A mother and her newborn. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Becoming a mother has been the most significant role of my life. While pregnant with our first child, Tray, my husband George and I discussed whether I should return to work. We initially agreed that I would stay home for a year before resuming my career. However, when the time came, I realized I wanted to be a full-time mom.
This feeling of profound responsibility towards our children grew stronger with the arrival of each new family member. First Tray, then our daughter Lily, followed by Justin, and finally Dylan. Each addition reinforced my decision to focus on raising them.
A mother spending tim with her kids. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
However, things at home began to change with Dylan’s birth. My mother-in-law started showing up at our house unannounced. She wasn’t coming to help with the children or the household.
She would say hello, then disappear into the kitchen to help herself to whatever she found, leaving dirty dishes behind. This happened several times, and each instance chipped away at my patience.
A woman sitting in the kitchen enjoying a meal and looking at her phone. For illustration purposes only | Source: Freepik
The situation escalated one morning after a particularly trying doctor’s visit with Dylan, who had just received his vaccinations. He was fussy, and I was running on little sleep.
All I craved was a soothing cup of coffee when we returned home. As I settled Dylan in his crib and finally headed to the kitchen, I heard the front door open and the familiar cheer, “Hi, dear! Just came to check on all of you!”
A cup of coffee. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
It took a while to soothe Dylan, and by the time I reached the kitchen for my much-needed coffee, I discovered not only was the pot empty, but I also had no coffee filter left. My mother-in-law, oblivious to my need, casually took the last cup.
Watching her take that last sip, I felt a surge of frustration. Just then, Lily burst into the kitchen, her presence a brief distraction from my brewing anger. “Mommy, can we watch ‘Peppa Pig’?” she asked.
Young girl with her mother in the kitchen. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Masking my irritation, I smiled and nodded, asking if her brothers wanted to watch too. Once she scampered off, I turned back to face my mother-in-law, who, sensing the tension, quickly left.
When George came home, I told him about the ongoing issues and asked him to speak with his mother. He acknowledged that she had overstepped boundaries but failed to address it with her. That weekend, the unresolved tensions came to a head.
A couple discuss an issue in their relationship. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
After a night of little rest, overwhelmed by the unending demands of parenting, I managed to gather enough energy to make homemade pizzas with the kids.
They were thrilled with the activity, eagerly anticipating eating their creations for dinner. I put Dylan down for his nap right as dinner time approached, hoping for a peaceful end to the day.
A sliced pizzza. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
To my dismay, when I returned to the kitchen, I found the pizzas gone. George and his mother were in the lounge, nonchalantly enjoying the last slices.
My exhaustion turned to anger, and I confronted them loudly, asking why they had eaten the children’s dinner. Their shocked faces only increased my frustration. George tried to calm me, but it was too late; I was too upset to listen.
An angry woman. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
I retreated to our bedroom, slammed the door, and broke down. Why was I the only one trying? Why couldn’t they see how hard I was struggling? Lily’s soft knock on the door pulled me from my despair. “Mommy, where is our pizza?” she asked innocently.
That moment crystallized my resolve. I had to stand up for my children and myself. After reassuring Lily, I confronted George and my mother-in-law again. They attempted to justify their actions by implying concern about my weight. That was the last straw.
A woman confronts her husband and mother-in-law. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“Get out, both of you,” I said calmly, my voice firm. They left, and George spent the night at his mother’s house. The relief I felt after they left was palpable.
I ordered pizza for the kids and myself, and as we ate, I made my decision. The next morning, I asked my sister to watch the kids while I filed for divorce. I placed the divorce papers in an empty pizza box on the coffee table for George to discover.
Divorce documentation. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
After informing my parents of the situation, they offered unconditional support. Staying with them allowed me to focus on healing and planning for the future. Within a short time, I regained my strength and prepared to face whatever came my way.
Now, I’m proud of standing up for what’s right for myself and my children. I’ve shown them what strength looks like and taught them the importance of self-respect and making tough decisions for the betterment of one’s future.
A woman enjoying life. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Had I not come to this realization, my kids would have grown up thinking it’s okay not to get support, care, or real love from those who claim to love you. Now they know their worth, and I will ensure they never forget it.
Like me, Lanie had a similar experience, but at least my husband didn’t insist I wash the dishes without leaving me anything to eat after tending to our newborn.
Five weeks after Lanie became a first-time mom, her mother-in-law also turned her life upside down. MIL made herself a constant fixture in their home, and it didn’t take long for things to unravel since she wasn’t really there to help Lanie and her husband acclimatize to their new responsibility.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
The True Meaning Behind “Barn Stars”
A barn star is a charming ornament that is frequently found above the door at the top of a barn.
They can be made out of metal stars or painted.Sometimes quilt blocks or hex signs are used in their place.
These items are there for a purpose, which is probably not what you initially assumed.
It turns out that barn stars are quite essential to German-American farmers.
They are placed atop barns to keep pests out or to promote healthy crop growth for the farmer.
It’s intriguing how each one may have a distinct color and significance.
For instance, a green barn star indicates good crop growth and fertility. On the other hand, a farmer, their family, and their possessions are protected when they have blue or black barn stars.
Conversely, Brown represents friendliness. Barn stars have an intriguing history.
The first barn star was applied in the 1830s. Barn stars are kind of vogue these days.
Every symbol represents a modification made to imported German traditional art from Europe.
The Amish are renowned for leading extremely austere lifestyles devoid of mainstream culture and contemporary technologies.
Among the various customs that have been carried down in this region over the years is the use of barn stars.
Even more intriguing is the fact that items that are frequently associated can have quite distinct meanings for someone whose family has deep links to Pennsylvania Dutch beliefs.
There are two rituals that run parallel to one other, according to Patrick Donmoyer: “There are the hex signs and then there are the barn stars.”
Barn Stars Could Provide Defense
Donmoyer oversees Kutztown University’s Pennsylvania German Cultural Heritage Center.
According to him, a lot of the hex signs appeared in various contexts, such as marriage certificates, to bestow good fortune upon newlyweds. or on grave markers to assist the deceased with finding peace in the hereafter.
For thousands of years, superstitions have existed, and they have all evolved over time to meet the changing needs of a global society.
Remarkably, barn stars lacked the significance or “power” that the majority of people believe them to have now.
Donmoyer states that these “were part of the agricultural way of life,” in fact.These were items that weren’t necessarily connected to paranormal ideas or occurrences.
Just so you know, hex signs originated on barns about a century after the barn stars.
Not All Hex Signs Are the Same
In order to create the hex signs, New England artist Wallace Nutting traveled to the Pennsylvania Dutch Country in 1924 and “misinterpreted” the original quilt squares or barn stars.
“He was talking about something real, but what he was talking about was missing,” Donmoyer stated.
He was discussing this concept of the hexenfoos, not the stars on the barn. He rearranged the two sections of the custom somewhat.
By the 1950s, these patterns were undergoing frequent changes and were a well-liked tourist destination.
All throughout Pennsylvania Dutch country, barn stars and quilt squares adorn barns as symbols of the ingenuity, toil, and customs of a people that have long perplexed the outside world.
These indicators highlight passed-down familial and cultural traditions.
Therefore, the Pennsylvania Dutch utilized barn stars to recall their ancestors and their homeland, despite the popular belief that they warded off evil.
Several cultures share a similar aspect.
Superstitions have a lengthy history, as was previously said.
Individuals think they can prevent evil, stop negative karma, and frequently bring money and happiness.
It should come as no surprise that many tribes and nations have modified their ancient symbols, such as barn stars, to safeguard homes and families from attack.
Om or Aum is a Buddhist and Hindu symbol.
For instance, the symbol Om is frequently employed to safeguard individuals during spiritual practices like meditation.
Though many people are familiar with the term or sound, the word itself can also have a visual meaning.
It is said to “purify” the body and psyche by striking a contented balance between tranquility and life’s challenges.
Horus’s Eye
Another example is Egypt’s Eye of Horus.
People think that the potent sign, which may be seen on jewelry or wall art from Egypt, has healing and protective properties.
Alternatively, the Hamsa Hand, which is supposed to ward against evil and bestow prosperity, health, and good fortune. It is found in the Middle East and the Mediterranean.
Turtle
On November 4, 2018, the turtle-carved “Let It Stand” totem pole is seen at the East Gate of Algonquin Park in Ontario, Canada.
Another revered symbol that fascinates me is the turtle.
For African and Native American tribes, the turtle represents fertility, longevity, knowledge, and a sense of being rooted.
Helm of Wonder
A contemporary Icelandic magical symbol bearing the same name as a Norse mythological object is called the Hood of Fear or the Hood of Awe.
Not to mention, the Norse symbol known as the Helm of Awe is said to keep warriors safe during combat and intimidate their adversaries.
similar yet distinct
Although communication between people from other countries has been difficult, technological advancements have made it simpler to see the similarities between many cultures and nations.
Every one of these symbols has a unique name and significance.
Nevertheless, every sign is interpreted as a guarantee of security, prosperity, and well-being, serving as a reminder of the wishes our forefathers had for the future of our families and communities.
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