The weight of the betrayal settled in my stomach like a cold stone. Three years. Three years of sacrifice, of pinching pennies and foregoing simple pleasures, all for a car that would keep our family safe. And he’d squandered it. On a whim. On a trip to Paris for his mother.
David, bless his oblivious heart, seemed genuinely surprised by my reaction. He’d always been a mama’s boy, and I’d tolerated it, even indulged it, to a point. But this? This was beyond the pale.
“It’s my money too!” he’d protested, his voice rising in that familiar defensive tone. “She deserves it! You can’t put a price on gratitude.”
I’d simply stared at him, my mind reeling. Gratitude? What about gratitude for the sacrifices I’d made, for the countless hours I’d spent juggling work, kids, and household chores? What about gratitude for the safety of our children?
I knew arguing would be futile. He was locked in his own world of justifications, and I wasn’t about to waste my breath. Instead, I retreated, a quiet fury simmering beneath my composed exterior.
Over the next few days, I played the part of the understanding wife. I smiled, nodded, and even helped him pack his mother’s suitcase. I listened patiently as he recounted his mother’s excited phone calls, her plans for sightseeing and shopping.
But beneath the surface, I was plotting. I was determined to teach him a lesson about finances, about responsibility, about the true meaning of family.
First, I contacted his mother. I explained the situation, the crumbling van, the precarious state of our family finances. She was mortified. She’d always been a sensible woman, and she was appalled by her son’s impulsive decision. She offered to pay for the trip herself, but I declined. Instead, I suggested a compromise. She could still go to Paris, but for a shorter period, a weekend getaway rather than a full week. The difference in cost would be returned to our car fund.
Next, I tackled the issue of David’s “my money too” argument. I opened a joint account, separate from our everyday expenses, and deposited the remaining car fund, along with the money his mother had returned. I then created a detailed budget, outlining our household expenses, including the cost of a new (used) car. I presented it to David, highlighting the glaring discrepancy between our needs and his impulsive spending.
I also introduced him to the concept of “family meetings.” Every Sunday, we would sit down together, discuss our finances, and make joint decisions about spending. The kids were included, too, learning about the value of money and the importance of saving.
Finally, I decided to address the issue of his mother’s constant demands. I didn’t want to create a rift between them, but I needed to establish boundaries. I suggested that we set aside a small portion of our budget for gifts and experiences for both our families, to be agreed upon by both of us.
The changes weren’t immediate. David grumbled about the budget, about the “unnecessary” family meetings. But slowly, he began to understand. He started to appreciate the sacrifices I’d made, the careful planning that kept our family afloat. He even started to enjoy the family meetings, seeing them as an opportunity to connect with the kids and make joint decisions.
The day we drove our newly purchased (used) car home, David looked at me, his eyes filled with a mixture of regret and gratitude. “Thank you,” he said, his voice sincere. “For teaching me.”
I smiled. “We’re a team, David,” I said. “And teams work together.”
What White Tongue Is, and What to Do About It
There are many possible causes for white tongue, and in some cases, it comes with an unpleasant odor and mouth dryness. To get rid of it, sometimes you just need to brush your teeth. But what should you do if that doesn’t help?
❗ This article is for informative purposes only and can’t replace the advice of a specialist.
What white tongue is
The white film may cover the entire tongue, part of it, or appear as spots. At the same time, an unpleasant odor and taste in the mouth may appear. It looks as if there are small white hairs on the tongue’s surface. In fact, they are buds covered with organic particles, bacteria, and dead cells.
White plaque on the tongue (which can also be yellow) may appear for different reasons, like due to irritation or because of an infection. It usually disappears after several days. If the situation doesn’t change for several weeks, and it’s painful to eat and talk, it’s best to see a doctor.
It’s important to note that the plaque may not only be white. While a pink tongue is normal, a brown tongue means the person drinks too much coffee or tea. A yellow tongue means there’s something wrong with the liver, and a red tongue is a sign that the person lacks vitamin B.
Why the tongue becomes white
Usually, the tongue becomes white due to bacteria, leftover bits of food, or dead cells that get stuck in between the buds. Because of this, the buds may increase in size or become inflamed. This is how white spots on the tongue’s surface appear.
Sometimes, the plaque appears due to an illness. For example, the geographic tongue is also a condition where white spots appear on the tongue. It’s quite rare, and the causes are unknown, but the condition itself is often connected to eating foods that irritate the tongue. It may also be a reaction to stress, an illness, or hormonal changes.
Why white plaque appears on the tongue
There are some things that make the appearance of white plaque on the tongue more probable:
- Age
- Taking antibiotics (white-yellow plaque appearing when there’s a fungal infection in the mouth)
- A diet that’s lacking enough fruits, vegetables, vitamin B12, and iron
- A weak immune system
- Bad mouth hygiene
- Dental prosthetics or other objects that can damage the tongue
- Dehydration and mouth dryness
What piercings have to do with white tongue
Right after piercing the tongue, there might be some white film present. This happens because the number of bacteria on the tongue increases, and it’s normal. Antibacterial mouthwash will help you get rid of it. Plus, there might be a ring around the piercings, which is normal too, and it means the tissue is healing.
If the plaque appears due to an injury (including piercings), the healing should take around 1.5 weeks. You should avoid irritants, such as hot, spicy, or sour foods and drinks.
How to get rid of white tongue at home
- Practice good mouth hygiene.
- Drink enough water.
- Brush your teeth using a soft toothbrush.
- Use a mild fluoride toothpaste — one that doesn’t contain sodium lauryl sulfate.
- Use fluoride mouthwash.
- Brush your tongue or use a tongue scraper to remove the white coating.
- Drink cold drinks through a straw.
- Avoid food and drinks that are spicy, salty, acidic, or very hot in temperature.
Who to talk to if you’re worried about your white tongue
- Your dentist can help you remove the white film from the tongue and prescribe medications if needed.
- Your GP can diagnose the tongue, prescribe you certain medications and determine if the white tongue is an indicator of a more serious issue.
What do you do about white tongue?
Preview photo credit Genusfotografen (genusfotografen.se) & Wikimedia Sverige (wikimedia.se) / Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0, Martanopue / Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 3.0
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