Sociopaths often appear charming and charismatic at first glance, making it difficult to identify their true intentions. However, their lack of empathy and manipulative tendencies often reveal themselves through their behavior and words. Understanding some common phrases sociopaths use can help you recognize their tactics and protect yourself or loved ones from emotional harm. Let’s explore nine phrases often used by sociopaths to manipulate those closest to them.
“Nobody Else Understands Me Like You Do”
Sociopaths may use this phrase to create a sense of intimacy and exclusivity. While it might sound heartfelt, it often serves their agenda of gaining your trust. This tactic aims to make you feel special, as though you’re the only person who truly knows them. Although sociopaths can feel basic emotions like anger or pleasure, their expressions of deeper feelings are usually calculated rather than genuine. By appealing to your emotions, they secure a position of influence in your life.
“This Is the First Time I Have Felt This Way For Someone”
This phrase is designed to play on the universal desire to feel unique and cherished. Sociopaths know that words like these can make you feel valued and important. However, these declarations are often shallow and lack sincerity. For sociopaths, words are tools for manipulation rather than expressions of true emotion. They understand what you want to hear and deliver it convincingly, but their actions often fail to match their declarations of love or admiration.
“There Is No One Else That Loves You As Much As I Do”
At first, this phrase might seem reassuring. However, it’s frequently used as a means of control. Sociopaths aim to create dependence by making you believe that their love is unparalleled. This manipulative tactic discourages you from seeking emotional support elsewhere, ensuring their grip on you remains strong. When conflicts arise, they may use this phrase to guilt-trip you into staying, even if the relationship has become toxic or damaging.
“You Are Actually Very Lucky to Have Me”
This phrase exemplifies the arrogance and entitlement often displayed by sociopaths. It’s a subtle way of undermining your confidence while elevating their own importance. By suggesting that you’re fortunate to have them, they aim to make you feel inadequate or undeserving of a better relationship. This strategy keeps you emotionally tethered to them, even as they erode your self-worth.
“You Owe Me”
Sociopaths frequently view relationships as transactional. When they use phrases like “You owe me,” they’re emphasizing their perceived investment in the relationship and demanding something in return. This could be emotional support, financial assistance, or any other benefit they seek to extract. Their focus is always on personal gain, with little regard for the mutual give-and-take that defines healthy relationships.
“I Already Did This, What More Do You Expect?”
Sociopaths often make minimal efforts in relationships and expect maximum rewards. This phrase reveals their resistance to reciprocity. When asked for more, they may lash out, portraying themselves as victims of unreasonable demands. This deflection not only shifts blame but also discourages you from voicing your needs. Over time, their lack of genuine effort becomes evident, leaving you feeling neglected and undervalued.
“I Don’t Have Time For This Nonsense”
When confronted about their behavior, sociopaths may dismiss your concerns with phrases like this. By trivializing your feelings, they avoid accountability and shift the focus away from their actions. This tactic silences you and reinforces their control. Their dismissive attitude highlights their inability—or unwillingness—to empathize with your emotions or take responsibility for their behavior.
“You Are Simply The Best”
Flattery is a powerful tool in a sociopath’s arsenal. By showering you with compliments like “You’re simply the best,” they build trust and make you feel appreciated. However, these words often serve as a facade, masking their true intentions. Once they’ve secured your loyalty, their behavior may shift dramatically. If their compliments feel excessive or insincere, it’s worth examining their motives.
“I Want to Spend Every Single Second In Your Company”
At first glance, this phrase might seem romantic. However, it often signals an attempt to isolate you from friends and family. Sociopaths thrive on control, and isolating their partners ensures that no one else can challenge their influence. While they may frame their behavior as love or devotion, their ultimate goal is to limit your independence and make you entirely reliant on them.
Conclusion
Sociopaths are skilled manipulators who use words as weapons to control and exploit those around them. By recognizing these common phrases, you can protect yourself from their tactics and maintain healthier relationships. It’s important to trust your instincts and set boundaries when someone’s behavior feels manipulative or harmful. Remember, genuine love and respect don’t come with strings attached or constant attempts at control. Stay vigilant, and don’t hesitate to seek support if you find yourself entangled in a toxic relationship.
Vertigo Star Kim Novak Is Spending Her 91st Birthday with ‘Friends and Lots of Fudge’ (Exclusive)
Tuesday marks the 91st birthday for Kim Novak, the star of Alfred Hitchcock’s 1958 film Vertigo, who walked away from Hollywood over five decades ago.
“She’s spending her birthday having a picnic on her property with friends and lots of fudge,” says her longtime manager and close friend Sue Cameron.
Life is sweet these days for Novak, who lives quietly on the Oregon coast, surrounded by her beloved horses.
In honor of her 91st birthday, read on for an interview from 2021 in which Novak shared why she left Hollywood and found her true self.
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Over 50 years ago, Kim Novak, the enigmatic star of Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo, walked away from Hollywood. The woman who had once been the No. 1 box office draw in the world put her belongings in a van and drove north, first to Carmel, California and then two decades later to Oregon, to live her life as an artist.
“I had to leave to survive,” she tells PEOPLE. “It was a survival issue.”
“I lost a sense of who I truly was and what I stood for,” says Novak in a rare interview to talk about her new book, Kim Novak : Her Art and Life. published by the Butler Museum of American Art.
“I fought all the time back in Hollywood to keep my identity so you do whatever you have to do to hold on to who you are and what you stand for,” she explains.
“I’ve never done one of those tell-all books that they wanted me to do for so long, and I thought this is the kind of book I’d like to do,” she says of her art book. “Actually, I had written my autobiography and it was almost complete but I had a house fire and the house burned down and I made no copies. I just couldn’t go through it again because I had spent so much time. But it was okay because it was a catharsis just to do it.”
After starring in Picnic (1955) with William Holden, The Man With the Golden Arm (1955) and Pal Joey (1957), opposite Frank Sinatra, and Vertigo, with Jimmy Stewart, Novak was at the height of her career but still under the control of the studio.
As she writes in her book’s introduction, “I was both dazzled and disturbed to see me being packaged as a Hollywood sex symbol. However, I did win my fight over identity. I wouldn’t allow [Columbia Pictures chief] Harry Cohn to take my bohemian roots away by denying me my family name. Novak. I stood my ground and won my first major battle.”
Cohn wanted her to change her name to Kit Marlowe, telling her that audiences would be turned off by her Eastern European roots. She refused. In the late ’50s, she defied him again when she began dating singer Sammy Davis Jr. against his wishes and she fought to live her life as an independent woman.
“There was constant pressure to be seen and not heard,” writes Novak, “especially if you had a pretty face.”
“In Hollywood a lot of people assume who you are, because of the character you play, but also just because of who they expect you to be, how they expect you to dress,” she says. “It influences you because if you’re in some gorgeous sequined gown, you can’t run along the ocean and run on the beaches.”
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“I kept feeling like I was going deeper and deeper, lost in almost like a quicksand, where it’s swallowing you up, your own personality, and I’d started to wonder who I am,” she explains. “I realized needed to save myself.”
She found peace living and painting in the Rogue River Valley of Oregon and notes, “I needed the Pacific Ocean to inspire me, the animals, the beauty.”
“I wanted to live a normal life and a life with animals,” says the actress, who had always loved drawing and painting as a young girl growing up in Chicago. She was awarded two scholarships to the Chicago Art Institute before she was spotted by a talent scout on a trip to L.A. and her life changed course.
Once she left Hollywood, Novak returned to her twin passions: art and animals. “My teachers were the animals, not just dogs and cats, but other animals, horses and llamas, whom you have to meet half way, because they’re not ready to accept humans. I had to learn to win them over,” she says. “They understand a person who’s genuine so I had to become more real and that made me rely on my inner self — and that also encouraged me to paint. Everything seemed to flow from that.”
“You learn how to count on, not how you look, which is a big thing as a movie star, especially if you were recognized because of how you look,” she adds. “That can be a difficult thing when you change — but looks had nothing to do with it.”
She met second husband, Robert Malloy, an equine veterinarian, in the late ’70s, when he paid her a house call to treat one of her Arabian horses. She called him her “soul mate.” He died last December.
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“I don’t feel 87,” says Novak. “I don’t keep tract of the time. If I did, I’d be an old lady and I’m not an old lady. I’m still riding my horse. I stay as healthy as I can.”
In 2012, Novak revealed she’d been living with bipolar disorder. “I don’t mind being open about who I am because these are all characteristics which make you who you are, especially as an artist,” she says. “Now, of course, I have medication for it but the best medicine of all is art.”
She’s proud of her favorite films, including Vertigo and Bell, Book and Candle (1958), and has fond memories, especially of her friend and costar Jimmy Stewart. Says Novak: “He didn’t let Hollywood change who he was.”
“People can remember me in movies but I want them to see me as an artist,” says Novak, whose paintings were exhibited at a 2019 retrospective at the Butler Museum in Youngstown, Ohio. “What’s great about painting is, you become the director too. No one’s telling you how to do it. You get to direct the whole thing.”
“I’ve been influenced a lot by Hitchcock in my work because he did mysteries and at first glance, I want my painting to be a mystery,” she says. “I love being the director, the producer, the actor in my paintings.”
“This is who I am. I want people to see I was not just a movie star.”
Looking back, Novak says, “I’m so glad I didn’t do the tell-all book, where you write all about your love life. That wasn’t who I was. This book tells who I am. I just needed to be free.”
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