According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
My Husband Yelled at My Birthday Party That I Was Too Old to Want — My Friend Took Revenge on My Behalf
Emma’s 57th birthday party takes a disastrous turn when her husband, Mike, publicly mocks her age. Tension flares when her best friend stands up for Emma, revealing a secret that leaves all the guests, and Emma, reeling in shock.
Yesterday was my fifty-seventh birthday, and despite what anyone might think, I’m loving this age. I know who I am, I’ve got nothing to prove, and I’m proud of every gray hair and wrinkle.
If my husband, Mike, felt the same way, then it could’ve prevented a lot of heartache.
Stylish mature woman | Source: Pexels
Mike’s been on this kick lately where he mocks my age every chance he gets. It’s like he thinks he’s some kind of stand-up comedian.
“Oh, Emma, did you forget your dentures?” he’ll say, followed by his annoying laugh. Yeah, real original, Mike.
But I was determined not to let him ruin my birthday. I invited all my friends over, decorated the house, and bought a new outfit. I was so excited until Mike opened his big mouth.
Yesterday was my fifty-seventh birthday, and despite what anyone might think, I’m loving this age. I know who I am, I’ve got nothing to prove, and I’m proud of every gray hair and wrinkle.
If my husband, Mike, felt the same way, then it could’ve prevented a lot of heartache.
Stylish mature woman | Source: Pexels
Mike’s been on this kick lately where he mocks my age every chance he gets. It’s like he thinks he’s some kind of stand-up comedian.
“Oh, Emma, did you forget your dentures?” he’ll say, followed by his annoying laugh. Yeah, real original, Mike.
But I was determined not to let him ruin my birthday. I invited all my friends over, decorated the house, and bought a new outfit. I was so excited until Mike opened his big mouth.
My best friend, Karen, was the first to arrive. She immediately complimented my outfit, giving my self-esteem the boost it needed after Mike’s insult.
The house filled with laughter and chatter as everyone else slowly arrived. I was in my element, greeting everyone and making sure they had drinks. But Mike, of course, had to put a damper on things.
“Emma, do you really think you should be drinking that wine? Isn’t it past your bedtime?” he said loud enough for everyone to hear.
Sad Mature woman | Source: MidJourney
A few people awkwardly chuckled, but mostly there was an uncomfortable silence.
I clenched my jaw and smiled through it. “I’ll manage, Mike.”
The party went on, and I tried to ignore him, but he was relentless.
“You’re going to eat that cake? Do you really want to be old and fat?” he said when I reached for a slice.
It took everything in me not to scream at him. Mike’s comments got nastier as the night went on, each one like a little jab to my heart.
A decadent cake | Source: Pexels
“You’re too old to dance, Emma. You might break a hip,” he said as I swayed to the music.
I could see the pity in my friends’ eyes, and it made my blood boil.
“Cut it out!” I hissed at Mike. “Why are you being such a jerk?”
Mike’s face turned red. “I’m giving you a reality check,” he yelled. “You’re too old to act this way, too old to be attractive, too old for me, Emma! Why don’t you just accept it?”
Mature man shouting | Source: MidJourney
The room fell silent. My cheeks burned, and I felt like the ground had dropped out from under me. Before I could say anything, Karen stepped forward, her eyes blazing.
“Oh, too old for you, right?” Karen’s voice sliced through the tension. “But aren’t YOU the one who can’t do anything in bed without your pills?”
Mike turned purple. I was stunned. How did she know that? I never told her.
Karen didn’t stop. “That’s right, everyone. Mike here can’t perform without popping a little blue pill. And you know how I found out?”
Mature woman points accusingly at a mature man | Source: MidJourney
“Because he cheated on Emma with my friend, Linda,” Karen finished.
A collective gasp went up from the guests. I looked around, seeing the shock and disbelief on their faces. My heart pounded as I tried to process what Karen was saying.
Linda, standing in the corner, looked like she wanted to disappear. She was a younger woman, always hanging around our social circle. The betrayal hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was still reeling when Mike’s response hit me like a slap in the face.
Upset mature woman | Source: Pexels
“Shut your pie hole!” Mike’s face twisted in anger and embarrassment. “You can’t just ruin my reputation like this!”
I finally found my voice. “Your reputation? What about mine? What about the years of ridicule and humiliation you’ve put me through?”
My voice shook, but I felt a surge of strength as I spoke. The dam had burst inside me. I looked around the room, seeing the support in my friends’ eyes.
It gave me the confidence I needed to make a stand.
Annoyed mature woman | Source: Pexels
“I’m done with your cruelty and your lies.” I jabbed my finger at Mike. “You want to make me feel old and undesirable? Well, here’s a newsflash: I feel more vibrant and alive without you dragging me down.”
Mike stood there, speechless. Linda, trying to slip out unnoticed, caught my eye. I took a deep breath and walked over to her.
“Linda, I don’t know why you did what you did, but I hope it was worth it.”
She didn’t say a word, just looked at the floor and hurried out the door.
Embarrassed woman | Source: Pexels
The room remained silent as I turned back to face everyone. I felt a sense of liberation wash over me. Karen, always the rock, was right there beside me.
“Let’s go, Emma. You don’t need to endure this any longer,” she said.
“You can’t talk to me like that and just leave!” Mike snapped, grabbing my arm.
My heart pounded with adrenaline as I turned to face him. I felt stronger than ever before and it was past time I put him in his place.
Confident mature woman | Source: Pexels
“I’m done with you, Mike,” I declared. “I won’t let you drag me down anymore. I’m leaving you!”
Mike’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, but no words came out. Shock and anger warred on his face, but it didn’t matter anymore. His opinion no longer had power over my life.
Karen put her arm around me, and we headed toward the door. My other friends began to rally around us, offering words of encouragement.
But Mike wasn’t done yet.
Angry mature man | Source: Pexels
“You’ll regret this!” He yelled after me. “Nobody else will want an old hag like you. You’ll end up on the street!”
I laughed and shot back over my shoulder, “Actually, since the cabin is in my name, the worst that’ll happen to me is I’ll end up on a permanent holiday!”
As we left the party, the weight of years of torment seemed to lift from my shoulders. We piled into Karen’s car and drove to my favorite restaurant.
I could never have imagined that there was one last surprise in store for me.
Warm lights, soft music, and the smell of delicious food greeted us as we walked in. We found a cozy booth and settled in, the mood already lighter.
“To Emma,” Karen said, raising her glass. “To new beginnings and to never letting anyone dull our sparkle!”
I smiled, feeling a warmth spread through me that had nothing to do with the wine. Mike’s betrayal hurt, no doubt about it. But it was also a wake-up call.
Looking around at my friends, I realized just how lucky I was. Their support and love had given me the strength to break free and start anew.
Three mature women | Source: Pexels
I chuckled. “Just thinking about how grateful I am. For you, for everyone. For finally finding the courage to stand up for myself.”
She smiled warmly. “You’ve always had that courage, Emma. You just needed a little reminder.”
Just then, the door to the restaurant opened, and in walked a tall, distinguished-looking man with kind eyes. He glanced around, spotted our lively group, and waved at us. Karen waved back.
A mature man | Source: Pexels
As he headed towards the bar, Karen noticed my gaze linger on him and nudged me playfully.
“Who’s that?” I asked, curiosity piqued.
“Oh, that’s Alex. He’s a regular here, very charming and single,” she winked. “Maybe a new friend for you to get to know?”
I felt a flutter of excitement. Maybe this was a sign of the new beginnings everyone was toasting to.
Mature woman smiling faintly | Source: Pexels
From that day forward, I embraced my age and my life with renewed vigor. And Mike? He was left to deal with the consequences of his actions, realizing too late that he had lost a woman who deserved far better than he could ever offer.
My journey was just beginning, and I was ready to face it with all the strength and resilience I had rediscovered within myself. And maybe, just maybe, there was room for a little romance along the way.
Click here to read about a woman who gets revenge on the HOA manager who ruined her Grandma’s garden.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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