Equipped with dash cam footage and a creative streak, Amber made a funny poster known as the “wall of shame” to deter her mother’s garden thieves. Although Amber’s audacious retaliation became the talk of the town, not everyone thought her billboard was funny.
There are benefits to residing in a charming suburban community in Texas. The light always seems to be shining just perfectly, the air smells like freshly cut grass, and the gardens—oh, the gardens—are breathtaking. The jewel in our street’s crown was my mother’s garden.
She put everything she had into it—planting every plant, tending to every flower, and painstakingly placing each garden accent. However, her joy and pride had recently been the object of some extremely thoughtless, sticky-fingered neighbors.
By the way, my name is Amber, and this is my story about why I chose to take revenge on my mother’s garden.
Small-scale thefts were initially committed. One day a garden gnome went gone, the next a potted plant vanished. Mom initially believed she was going insane.
“Perhaps I lost it,” she would murmur, her brow twisted in perplexity.
But then, over night, whole plant bulbs began to disappear. The most detrimental aspect? Her beloved tulips, which she had spent years honing, were there. Mom was heartbroken, and I was enraged.
The robbers even started carting stolen Mom’s garden statuary! One of the stolen gnomes was her favorite, a little ceramic elf with a mischievous grin that seemed to bring the garden to life.
And the plants, oh, the plants! Whole flowerbeds tramped over, roses stripped of their petals, young saplings removed and allowed to wither.
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It was more than just annoying.
One morning at breakfast, I said, “There has to be someone nearby.” “Who else would sneak around our garden in the middle of the night?”
With misted eyes, Mom sighed. “Amber, I simply do not understand. Why would someone act in this manner?
“I’ll find out,” I said, resolutely fixed in my jaw. “And when I do, they’ll regret ever messing with your garden.”
At first, I had no idea how I would apprehend these plant robbers, but then it dawned on me: the dash cam.
My vehicle was facing Mom’s garden when it was parked in the driveway. I configured it to continuously record in the hopes of apprehending the offenders.
I watched the video a week later. Bingo!
There they were, several of our nosy neighbors, slipping into the garden under the cover of darkness. They dug, plucked, and stole one by one. It made my blood boil to watch them.
I recognized several of them immediately.
There was Mr. Green from across the street, who I’d once caught staring at Mom’s roses; there was Mrs. Parker from two doors down, who was always chatting up everyone about their business; and there were even the Watson twins, who were known for getting into trouble.
It resembled a blatant parade that was taking place in our own backyard.
However, then a thought emerged. I would give them a stage if they wanted to create a show out of themselves.
Over the next three days, I worked on creating a poster that would deter any would-be burglar.
It had sharp pictures of our petty neighbors with clever captions underneath each one.
“Mr. Potato Head” gave a shy smile while he picked up a garden gnome. “Petal Pilferer” held a bunch of her mother’s tulips as if it were a prize. The pièce de résistance, of course, is “Pothead” hoisting a potted fern.
And my masterpiece’s title? “Go Away Without Us! Stealing makes you appear like a real sap, so avoid becoming a garden thief!”
It was priceless to see Mom’s response when she saw the poster
Amber laughed so hard she almost sobbed, saying, “Amber, this is brilliant!” “Let’s put it up right away.”
The poster was prominently displayed in our front yard for everyone to see. And wow, was it noticed by many?
Our front yard was a tourist destination by the next morning. Soon, the entire neighborhood was bustling as cars slowed down and pedestrians paused to take pictures and stare.
Reactions were varied and quick
While some of our neighbors smiled and praised our inventiveness, others ran past, clearly embarrassed and afraid they would be up next on our wall of shame. It was everything I hoped for and more.
I was inside, having my morning coffee, when I observed a group of kids snapping photos in front of the billboard. I couldn’t resist grinning. “Well, Mom, I think we’ve made quite the impression.”
Mom’s eyes glistened with a mixture of satisfaction and amusement as she peered out the window. “All right. Now perhaps they will reconsider before tampering with my garden.”
A knock on the door cut short our conversation just then. When I opened it, there was a cameraman accompanying a youthful, enthusiastic reporter who was holding a microphone.
“Hello, this is Julie from News Channel 5. We would be delighted to discuss your… innovative strategy for combating garden thieves with you.”
Mom and I looked at each other.
I said, “Sure, come on in,” and moved aside to make room for them.
For the next thirty minutes, we talked about the dash cam footage, the thefts, and our choice to hang the poster.
I could see the reporter savoring it, and Mom’s love for her garden was evident
Julie grinned at us as they gathered up their gear. This has the makings of a fantastic tale. I appreciate your time.
The altercations started soon after the news crew left. First up was Mr. Thompson, father of the teenage boy caught red-handed. He stormed up our driveway, his face as red as a tomato.
“How dare you embarrass my son like this!” he shouted, waving his finger in my face. “He was just trying to bring flowers to his sick girlfriend!”
I crossed my arms, unimpressed. “Really, Mr. Thompson? At midnight? From my mom’s garden? Does he have a problem with knocking on the door to ask if he can have flowers?”
He snarled something unpleasant under his breath before turning on his heel and stomping off.
I laughed, shaking my head. “Well, that went well.”
The next confrontation was a bit more pathetic.
Mr. Jenkins, an older man with a perpetually worried expression, shuffled up to our porch holding a plant cutting. He avoided eye contact while he spoke.
“I, uh, think my wife took this by mistake,” he murmured. “She’s on the town’s board of directors, you know. Can we keep this between us?”
Mom’s mischievous eyes twinkled. “Tell her to make like a bee and buzz off.”
Word got around like wildfire. Some neighbors thought the poster was brilliant, a long-overdue stand against petty theft.
Others thought we’d gone too far, turning what should’ve been a private matter into a public spectacle. At the town meeting that evening, opinions were split right down the middle.
“I think it’s great that someone finally did something about it!” As she spoke, Mrs. Collins clapped her hands. “People should respect other people’s property!”
“But it’s humiliating!” Mr. Perez got into a dispute. “You’re turning the neighborhood into a circus!”
Mom and I stayed put during the spirited arguments.
When the neighbors threatened lawsuits, we reminded them that we could also sue for theft and trespassing. That shut them up pretty quickly.
Back home, Mom and I settled into our usual evening routine. She tended to her newly flourishing garden while I kept an eye on the front yard, still bustling with activity.
A couple of college kids were taking a video in front of the poster, narrating the whole saga for their followers.
“Looks like we’ve gone viral,” I remarked, swiping through my phone. “We’re all over social media.”
Mom smiled, her eyes softening. “All right. Maybe now they’ll think twice before messing with anyone’s garden.”
In the weeks that followed, the thefts stopped completely. Mom’s garden started to grow like crazy. The grass turned greener, fresh flowers opened, and even the garden gnomes appeared to smile a little more broadly.
The poster remained up, serving as a daily reminder to appreciate the labor and assets of others.
The poster quickly became the stuff of local legend.
Visitors from nearby communities stopped by merely to take pictures and exchange anecdotes. It came to represent the tenacity of the community and the value of standing up for what is right.
Mom turned to face me one evening while we were enjoying the cool Texas breeze on the porch. Her eyes were beaming with pride.
“Without you, Amber, I couldn’t have completed this. I appreciate you defending my garden and me.”
I grinned as a wave of warmth passed through my chest. “What can I do for you, Mom? Anything at all for you.”
And as the sun descended on our idyllic suburban neighborhood, I realized that we had strengthened our bonds as a community in addition to safeguarding Mom’s garden.
Because in the end, it wasn’t just about the flowers or the gnomes. It was about respect, resilience, and the power of standing up for what’s right.
Santa’s Favorite Laughs: 11 Christmas Jokes to Brighten Your Holiday
Ho ho ho! Feeling festive? These Christmas jokes will have you laughing louder than Santa’s belly shake. Warning: excessive cheer, snort-laughing, and spontaneous caroling may occur. Proceed with caution… and cookies!
Jingle all the way to laughter! Grab your eggnog and settle in for some holiday hilarity. These jokes are Santa-approved and guaranteed to make you laugh harder than your uncle after too much Christmas pudding.
Santa Claus laughing in the snow | Source: Midjourney
1. The Christmas Trap
Mike drummed his fingers on his desk, staring at his phone. His wife Janet gave him a knowing wink from across the room, already struggling to contain her laughter. Time for their annual Christmas scheme.
“Hey kiddo,” Mike said after his 20-year-old son picked up in Fairbanks, trying to sound devastated. “I hate to drop this bomb, but… your mother and I are getting divorced.”
“WHAT?” Ryan’s voice cracked so hard that his neighbor’s cat fell off the windowsill. “Dad, you can’t be serious! You just posted those matching Christmas sweater photos!”
A shocked young man holding a phone | Source: Midjourney
“Dead serious. Can’t stand looking at her cookbooks anymore. Three hundred and forty-two sugar cookie recipes is where I draw the line. Call your sister in Sydney. I’m done talking about it.”
Ryan immediately called his sister Ashley, nearly dropping his phone in his panic. “Dad’s lost his mind! They’re getting divorced over a cookbook!”
“OVER MY DEAD BODY AND EVERY CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT I OWN!” Ashley screeched, making her office plants wilt. She speed-dialed home. “Listen here, old man! Don’t you DARE sign anything! Ryan and I are flying home TONIGHT!”
A shocked woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
Mike hung up and high-fived Janet, and both of them doubled over with laughter. “Works every year. Both kids coming home for Christmas. And they’re buying their own tickets!”
Janet wiped tears from her eyes. “Should we tell them this is how we got them to come to Thanksgiving too?”
“Nah,” Mike grinned. “Let’s save that trick for Easter!”
An older man with a wicked grin | Source: Midjourney
2. The Christmas Angel
Eleanor had been working in the Dead Letter Office for five years, but she’d never seen anything quite like this — an envelope addressed simply to “God” in shaky handwriting that looked like it had been written during an earthquake.
Inside was a letter that made her heart squeeze:
“Dear God, I’m Martha, 85 years young and running low on miracles. Some sneaky youngster with unusually fast hands swiped my purse yesterday with my entire month’s pension. $120. I’ve got five dear friends coming for Christmas dinner, and now I can’t even afford a can of cranberry sauce. I know you’re busy with world peace and all, but could you spare a miracle for an old lady with a sweet tooth and empty cupboards? Love, Martha (the one with the crooked garden gnome collection at the end of Maple Street).”
A lady postal services worker reading a letter | Source: Midjourney
Eleanor shared the letter with her coworkers. By lunch, they’d collected $116, raiding coffee funds, lunch money, and that secret candy bar stash everyone pretended not to know about.
A week after Christmas, another letter arrived:
“Dear God, You’re a real peach! That $116 you’d left in my mailbox made for the best Christmas dinner ever! My friends said it was divine intervention. I’d say they’re right! Even my arthritis felt better!
P.S. Some sticky-fingered postal worker must’ve skimmed $4 off the top. Might want to look into that. I hear you’ve got connections with Santa’s naughty list! Love, Martha.”
A cheerful older lady enjoying Christmas dinner with her friends | Source: Midjourney
3. North Pole Chaos
“Code Red! Code Red!” Junior Elf Timothy squeaked into the North Pole intercom, his voice cracking like ice in hot cocoa. “Four senior elves down with candy cane flu! The toy production line looks like a modern art exhibition!”
Santa rubbed his temples, watching the trainee elves turn teddy bears into abstract sculptures. Mrs. Claus chose that perfect moment to chirp, “Honey, Mother’s coming for Christmas! She’s bringing her entire fruitcake collection… even the one that set off the North Pole airport security!”
In the stables, Rudolph was organizing a reindeer union strike, demanding premium carrots and heated stalls. Dancer was in labor (terrible timing), and Prancer had eloped with a local moose named Bruce who promised her a cabin in the woods.
Startled Santa Claus | Source: Midjourney
Santa trudged to load the sleigh, only to hear an ominous CRACK! The floor splintered like thin ice, sending toys scattering everywhere like confetti at a New Year’s party gone wrong.
Stumbling inside for coffee, he found the elves had replaced it with sugar-free hot chocolate with a tag that read: “It’s healthier, Boss!” The milk jug slipped from his hands, shattering into a million pieces that sparkled like evil little stars on the kitchen floor. The cleanup broom looked like it had been through a beaver party. Suddenly, the doorbell buzzed.
DING DONG!
Santa Claus holding a broom | Source: Midjourney
Santa yanked open the door, ready to cancel Christmas entirely. There stood a tiny angel, struggling under a massive Christmas tree that made her look like a sprite with an oversized umbrella.
“Special delivery!” she beamed, twinkling with festive cheer. “Where would you like me to stick it?”
And that’s why Christmas trees have angels on top, sporting slightly alarmed expressions and questioning their career choices.
An angel under a Christmas tree | Source: Midjourney
4. Heavenly Volume
Tommy and Jack were spending Christmas Eve at Grandma Rose’s house, famous for her legendary sugar cookies and selective hearing that rivaled military-grade noise-canceling technology.
At bedtime, Tommy (age 6) knelt beside his bed and began his strategic prayer:
“DEAR GOD, I WOULD REALLY LOVE A NEW XBOX…”
“AND A REMOTE CONTROL DINOSAUR THAT ACTUALLY BREATHES FIRE…”
“AND MAYBE A ROCKET SHIP WITH REAL ROCKET FUEL…”
A little boy praying | Source: Midjourney
Jack (age 8) nudged his brother, rolling his eyes. “Dude, volume control! God’s not streaming on Spotify!”
Tommy shot back with a mischievous grin that would make elves proud. “Yeah, but Grandma is doing her Christmas shopping tomorrow, and her hearing aid’s been acting up since she tried to bluetooth it to her toaster!”
A little boy looking up and laughing | Source: Midjourney
5. The Shopping Surprise
Linda lost track of her husband Dave at the crowded mall during last-minute Christmas shopping. After 20 minutes of searching between the endless sea of panic-buying shoppers, she called his cell.
“Dave, where on earth did you disappear to? The mall closes in an hour!”
“Honey,” his voice softened mysteriously, “remember that fancy jewelry store from our first Christmas together? The one where you fell in love with that stunning sapphire necklace, but we were so broke we could barely afford the window shopping?”
A man talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
Linda’s heart fluttered, her anger melting faster than a snowman in July. “The one on Fifth Street? Oh my god, Dave… you didn’t…”
“Well,” he paused dramatically, “I’m in the dollar store next door. They’re having a massive sale on gift bags! Three for a dollar! Want me to grab some?”
A woman gaping in shock | Source: Midjourney
6. The Carol Critic
“Hey Emma,” her little brother Charlie called from the doorway, munching on his third candy cane of the morning. “You should totally join the Christmas choir at school! They’re still accepting applications!”
14-year-old Emma stopped practicing her scales, hope blooming in her eyes. “Really? You actually like my singing? After all this time?”
“Nah,” Charlie grinned, revealing red and white striped teeth. “But they only perform once a year, and I already know which day to wear my noise-canceling headphones!”
A stunned teenage girl holding a songbook | Source: Midjourney
7. The Gift Switch
At the office Christmas party, Tom was bragging about the amazing gift he got his wife Sarah, waving his phone around with photos.
“Check it out, man. Diamond earrings! Cost me a fortune, but worth every penny!”
His coworker Steve whistled, sipping his fourth cup of spiked eggnog. “But didn’t Sarah specifically ask for that new SUV? The one she’s been hinting about since last Christmas?”
“She did,” Tom smirked, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “But try finding a fake Ford Explorer that’ll fool your mother-in-law!”
A man holding a pair of earrings and laughing | Source: Midjourney
8. The Budget Tree
“Dad, pleeeease can we get a real Christmas tree this year?” little Jimmy begged for the hundredth time, giving his best puppy dog eyes. “I’m tired of explaining to my friends why our plastic tree smells like a basement and old tennis shoes!”
Frank grabbed his axe and wallet, sighing dramatically while secretly winking at his wife. “Fine. The things I do for Christmas spirit…”
He returned suspiciously quickly with a perfect tree, not a drop of sweat in sight.
A man holding an axe | Source: Midjourney
“That was fast,” Jimmy said, eyeing the pristine axe. “Did you even use it?”
“Nope!” Frank grinned proudly. “But the tree lot guy offered a 75% discount when I started examining the trees with it! Sometimes the best lumberjack is the one who never swings!”
A stunned boy | Source: Midjourney
9. The Biblical Bird
Three brothers — Richie, Steve, and Joe — gathered for their annual post-Christmas brag-fest about their gifts to their 80-year-old mother.
Richie puffed up his chest. “I built her a mansion with an elevator and a meditation room!”
Steve smirked, twirling his car keys. “Amateur. I bought her a Rolls-Royce with a personal chauffeur!”
Joe leaned back, sipping his cocoa. “You guys are so last season. Remember how Mom loves the Bible but can’t see well? I found this amazing parrot that recites the entire Bible on command. Took the church elders twelve years to train him. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse!”
A person in church holding a parrot | Source: Midjourney
Their mother’s thank-you notes arrived the next week:
“Dear Richie: The mansion’s lovely, but I’m too old to remember which of the 7 bathrooms I left my glasses in.
Dear Steve: The car’s beautiful, but my driver keeps falling asleep during my stories.
Dear Joe: The chicken was pretty small but delicious! Especially with the sage stuffing!”
Roasted chicken on the table | Source: Midjourney
10. The Window Shopping Incident
Karen spotted the perfect Christmas party dress sparkling in the store’s window display, guaranteed to make her the talk of the office party.
“Excuse me,” she called to a passing saleswoman. “Could I try on that gorgeous shimmery dress in the window? The one with the sequins?”
The saleswoman clutched her pearls, looking thoroughly scandalized. “Absolutely not, Ma’am! We have perfectly good fitting rooms for that sort of thing. This isn’t that kind of establishment!”
A dress displayed in a store | Source: Midjourney
11. The Santa Hotline
Sophie was driving her mom crazy with constant battles with her teenage sister Madison. The latest war was over borrowed (stolen) Christmas sweaters and who ate the last gingerbread cookie.
Mom had enough. “That’s it! I’m calling Santa!”
She dialed her brother Bob, resident Santa impersonator extraordinaire. Sophie’s eyes grew huge as Mom detailed her crimes against sisterhood, including the Great Hair Dryer Incident of last Tuesday.
“Santa wants a word with you,” Mom handed over the phone, trying not to smirk as her master plan unfolded.
A smiling woman holding a phone | Source: Midjourney
Uncle Bob dropped his voice to subterranean levels. “Sophie, Sophie, Sophie… No presents for girls who torment their sisters. I’m watching! And yes, I saw you hide that cookie under your pillow!”
Sophie nodded solemnly through the lecture, then hung up with a suspicious gleam in her eye.
“Well?” Mom asked, expecting victory. “What did Santa say?”
Sophie shrugged, skipping away. “He said Madison’s getting coal this year. Apparently, she’s the real troublemaker. Also, he said you should check your own cookie stash, Mom!”
A little girl smiling | Source: Midjourney
And there you have it, folks! If these jokes made you laugh, share them faster than your relatives share embarrassing childhood stories at Christmas dinner! Keep spreading the holiday cheer with these 10 More Best Christmas Jokes. Ho ho ho!
Cheerful Santa Claus laughing | Source: Midjourney
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