I grew up believing that my father blamed me for my mother’s death but the truth was heartbreaking.
I never knew my mother, and my father never spoke about her. All I knew was that she had been very beautiful, because of the picture that hung on my father’s study wall, and that she had died very young.
My father was a sad man, a quiet and distant man. I wanted him to notice me, and to love me, but he never did. He rarely spoke to me beyond the perfunctory hello and goodbye, good morning and goodnight. I would have given anything for him to sweep me into his arms and tell me he loved me.
The shadow of my mother’s death followed me my whole life | Source: Shutterstock.com
This strange and strained relationship with my father continued until I was 18, and by then I was a sad and lonely young woman who believed my father hated me. If my father didn’t love me, who would?
But the answer to all my questions was about to be delivered in the most painful and cruel way. My father was hosting a party for his business associates, and among them was a woman whom I knew slightly.
If you don’t leave the past behind you, you deny yourself a future.
I had the feeling that she and my father had a past together — or at least that she wished they did. She greeted me and we started chatting — inconsequential talk about nothing special — and my father walked by.
I gave him my best smile, but he immediately glanced away. The woman saw it all. “Do you know why?” she asked.
I grew up feeling that my father hated me | Source: Unsplash
“Why what?” I asked, confused.
“Why he hates you,” she said.
“My father doesn’t hate me!” I exclaimed. “He’s just not a very demonstrative man.”
“So you don’t know…” she smiled. It was the ugliest smile I’d ever seen. I was about to walk away when she said, “He believes you killed your mother, Karen.”
One day at a party someone told me the truth | Source: Unsplash
I stopped in my tracks. “What?” I gasped.
“Your mother died giving birth to you, surely you know that?” she said.
“No…” I answered. “No, I didn’t know.” I turned my back on her and went looking for my grandmother, my father’s mother, the woman who’d raised me and never told me about my mother’s death.
“How did my mother die?” I asked her angrily. “Was it in childbirth?”
My mother had died in childbirth | Source: Pexels
My grandmother shook her head. “Please Karen, your father asked me never to speak of this with you.”
“I have the right to know about my own mother!” I cried. “I have the right to know why my father hates me!”
Then a quiet angry voice behind me said, “I don’t hate you, Karen, but your mother’s death is none of your business:”
I turned to face my father. “My mother’s death is none of my business? You’re wrong! I killed her, didn’t I? That’s what you think each time you look at me!”
My father blamed me for her death | Source: Unsplash
The expression in his eyes sent me running out of the door. I got into my car and drove aimlessly, tears running down my face. In my distress, I didn’t see the oncoming car changing lanes until it was too late.
I woke up in the hospital linked to a beeping machine, with a dull promise of pain twinging through my whole body. Sitting by my side and holding my hand was my father.
“Karen,” he said softly, “Thank God you’re alright!”
“Daddy…” I whispered, “you’re here!”
Tears came into his eyes. “Of course I’m here. I don’t hate you, Karen. I love you. And I don’t blame you for your mother’s death, I blame myself. When your mom and I married we were very poor.
“All we had were dreams and our love for each other. Then she fell pregnant and I took on a second job. I knew we’d need the money when you came along. I was working 16-hour days and she spent a lot of time alone.
“So one day when I came home she wasn’t there. A neighbor had taken her to the hospital. When I got there it was all over. Your mother had died, and I hadn’t been there for her.
The accident nearly cost me my life | Source: Pexels
“I didn’t blame you, Karen, I blamed myself. I was determined I wasn’t going to fail you the way I’d failed her, so I threw myself into my work, and I became a rich man.
“Daddy, how could you blame yourself?” I asked. “There was nothing you could have done!”
“I could have been there, holding her hand the way I’m holding yours now,” he said.
“But daddy…” I hesitated, “you were always so angry with me, so cold. You ran away from me.”
My father and I were reconciled | Source: Unsplash
“Karen, you look just like your mother, and each time I looked at you, my heart was torn apart by grief and guilt. It took nearly losing you to make me realize what I’d done. I love you.”
For the first time in my life, my father put his arms around me and showed me that he loved me. It was a new beginning for both of us, and I like to believe my mother was smiling down from heaven.
What can we learn from this story?
- If you don’t leave the past behind you, you deny yourself a future. Karen’s father was so lost in his pain that he nearly lost the opportunity to have a wonderful relationship with his daughter.
- The truth can heal old wounds and open the way to a new beginning. It was only after Karen and her father spoke about their estrangement that they could move past their misunderstandings.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a man who left his widowed mother homeless.
This account is inspired by our reader’s story but written by a professional writer. All names have been changed to protect identities and ensure privacy. Share your story with us, maybe it will change someone’s life.
Jennifer Aniston grew up in destabilized home and learned to forgive cruel criticisms from model mom
Given Jennifer Aniston’s achievements, one may presume that her perfect childhood prepared her for her remarkable adulthood.
The 54-year-old was not always as fortunate as she is now, despite her innate skill and gifting. John Aniston, her father, is well-known for portraying gangster Victor Kiriakis on Days of Our Lives.
The Morning Show actress delivered a life retrospective, talking about how she overcome difficult situations in the past, such having a hard relationship with her deceased mother.
Aniston, who was formerly estranged from her mother, thanks her for “showing me what never to be” as they talk about how important it is to let go of “toxic” feelings.
Given Jennifer Aniston’s achievements, one may presume that her perfect childhood prepared her for her remarkable adulthood.
The 54-year-old was not always as fortunate as she is now, despite her innate skill and gifting. John Aniston, her father, is well-known for portraying gangster Victor Kiriakis on Days of Our Lives.
The Morning Show actress delivered a life retrospective, talking about how she overcome difficult situations in the past, such having a hard relationship with her deceased mother.
Aniston, who was formerly estranged from her mother, thanks her for “showing me what never to be” as they talk about how important it is to let go of “toxic” feelings.
Aniston said, “growing up in a household that was destabilized and felt unsafe,” as a means of learning how to deal with life’s disappointments in an interview with friend Sandra Bullock for Interview Magazine in 2020.
Observing certain facets of human nature and witnessing adults treat one another viciously made me decide that I didn’t want to do that. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to continue experiencing this sensation in my body right now. I want no one else I connect with to ever feel that way. The actress from Just Go With It continued, saying, “I guess I should give my parents credit for it.You can either say, “You got lemons?” or vent your rage or martyrdom. Let’s get some lemonade ready.
It was difficult even outside the family.
Aniston said, “I don’t know why, but I was one of those kids who got kind of bullied.”
I was one of the kids that the other kids picked on to make fun of. The fifth, sixth, and seventh grade years were unusual. Because I was a little overweight, I was just that kid.
Most of the time, it felt like her mother was hurling lemons at her.
“I had to do long-overdue personal work, parts of me that hadn’t healed since I was a little kid,” Aniston stated.
She became upset easily. I find that to be unacceptable. We’ll talk about [things] if I’m upset. I swear I won’t ever cry out or lose my temper like that. Aniston continues, not realizing how beautiful she is, “She was critical.” She was really critical of me. She was a model, which is why she was beautiful. I wasn’t. I never was. It’s okay because, to be very honest, I still don’t view myself that way. She was also really cruel. She used to hold grudges that were so insignificant to me.
In an interview with the Hollywood Reporter, the Horrible Bosses actress claims that she never lived up to Dow’s demands and that their correspondence ceased for a while.
Aniston says, “I did not turn out the model child she’d hoped for,” expressing empathy for the little girl’s desire to be acknowledged and loved by a mother who was overly consumed with trivial matters.
Aniston stopped corresponding with Dow when her mother published her autobiographical book “From Mother and Daughter to Friends: A Memoir” in 1999. According to rumors, the celebrity went insane at her mother’s breach of privacy.
In fact, Aniston was so upset that she forgot to invite her mother to Brad Pitt’s 2000 wedding; but, after their divorce, they were able to reconcile.
Nonetheless, it was reported prior to Dow’s death that she hadn’t seen her mother in a while. Dow had already suffered two strokes.
But her relationship with her father was totally different.
She continued, “He thought I was going down the road of absolute destruction and heartache” with reference to pursuing his acting career. And I felt like our relationship was very different once he had something to chat to me about. It asked, “Are you an actor?” I’m a stage performer.
Aniston is far from just a showman.
One of the most paid performers in the industry, Aniston owns the haircare company LolaVie, has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, a Primetime Emmy, a Golden Globe, and has been consistently ranked among the world’s most beautiful women. She also established Echo Films, a production company that makes movies in which she stars, such as Dumplin, The Switch, and Murder Mystery 2.
A Daytime Emmy lifetime achievement award was given to John in June 2022, just before his death. In a taped segment, his daughter presented him with the prize and praised his many years of performing experience.
And after her father passed away, the comic posted a heartfelt picture of him holding her as a newborn on Instagram. The Friends star writes, “Sweet papa.”Anthony I have never met a more beautiful person than you, John Aniston. That you gracefully and effortlessly ascended into the sky is greatly appreciated.I swear to adore you forever. Do not forget to pay a visit.
She also reconciled with her mother before her death.
“I made my mother and I right. I apologize to my dad. She says, “I’ve offered my family my forgiveness,” highlighting the importance of appreciating every moment, no matter how wonderful or bad.
It is essential.That anger, that bitterness, is toxic. I learned it from watching my mother never let go of it. I seem to have said, “Thank you for showing me what never to be,” at the moment. That’s what I mean when I say that, given what they have given us, we should try to find ways to honor the less joyful moments and the darker occurrences in our lives,” the speaker said.
How modest and yet incredibly talented is Jennifer Aniston! It’s always interesting to learn about a celebrity’s past and see them as everyday people. We hope Aniston has found some peace, but even so, we’re sorry to hear that she and her mother didn’t get along.
What do you think of this story and her upbringing?
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