All I ask is a few minutes of your time to hear my ordeal. Months after providing free childcare for my stepdaughter, I made a choice to refuse when things went too far. Now I need you to tell me — was I really wrong for not giving in to her bizarre demands and refusing to babysit her child?
Retirement was supposed to be my time to relax, travel, and maybe take up gardening. Instead, I became “Grandma Daycare,” a title I wore proudly. I’d retired when my first grandchild was born, and over the years, I’d babysat all five of my grandchildren, both from my kids and stepkids.
An older woman with her grandchild | Source: Pexels
“Grandma, tell us the story about the dancing bear again!” little Tommy would beg, his eyes sparkling with excitement.
“No, the princess one!” Lily would counter, climbing onto my lap.
Those moments made my heart swell. Their laughter was worth every second of exhaustion, even on the hardest days. It wasn’t always easy, but I loved it.
Whether it was finger painting, bedtime stories, or comforting a feverish toddler, I poured my heart and soul into caring for them. My days were busy but fulfilling.
A cheerful grandmother babysitting a toddler | Source: Midjourney
“You’re a miracle worker,” my son James once said, watching me juggle three kids while baking cookies. “I don’t know how you do it.”
“Love,” I replied simply. “Love makes everything possible, dear.”
Alice, my stepdaughter, was the last one to have a baby. Her daughter, Ellie, was born when my schedule was already full. I watched my 18-month-old grandson Monday through Friday and handled the older kids during summer breaks.
I wasn’t sure I could take on another child, but I was open to helping where I could.
Unfortunately, Alice and her boyfriend, Sam, made that almost impossible.
A young couple | Source: Unsplash
Alice and Sam had always been a bit high-maintenance, but I wasn’t prepared for the three-page list they handed me when Alice was just ten weeks pregnant.
“We’ve put together some rules,” Alice said, her voice overly casual. “If you’re going to babysit my baby, you’ll need to agree to these.”
I skimmed the list, and my jaw nearly hit the floor.
“I can’t cook? I can’t have more than one other grandchild over? And what’s this about my cat? Muffin has to stay out of the baby’s rooms, even when your baby’s not here?” I looked at them incredulously. “This is… a lot.”
A shocked senior woman holding a piece of paper | Source: Midjourney
Sam folded his arms. “It’s for our baby’s safety.”
“Safety?” My voice rose. “I raised three children, helped raise two stepchildren, and have been caring for four grandchildren without a single incident. What exactly are you implying about my capabilities?”
“Times have changed, Ruby,” Sam said dismissively. “There are new studies, new recommendations —”
“New recommendations about cooking?” I interrupted, my hands trembling with anger. “About having siblings and cousins around? About cats that have been part of the family longer than you have?”
“Mom,” Alice pleaded, “we just want what’s best for our baby.”
A young woman looking frustrated | Source: Midjourney
“I’m sure you mean well,” I said, handing the list back, fighting to keep my voice steady, “but this won’t work for me. You’ll need to find other childcare.”
Their faces fell, but I stood my ground.
Months later, Alice called me in a panic. Her voice cracked with desperation. “Mom, our sitter canceled last minute. Can you watch Ellie tomorrow? Just for the day?”
I hesitated. “You know I won’t be following those rules, right? I’ll provide safe and appropriate care, but I won’t be micromanaged.”
Alice sighed. “That’s fine. We just really need help.”
That “one day” turned into four months. While Alice was somewhat tolerable, Sam was a nightmare. Every time he picked Ellie up, he’d make snide comments about Muffin, the number of kids I had over, or whether I’d cooked that day.
A senior woman holding a baby | Source: Midjourney
One afternoon, as I read to Ellie and her cousin, Sam arrived early.
“Well, well,” he sneered, “I see we’re breaking rules again. Two kids at once? How dangerous.”
I held Ellie closer, feeling her tiny fingers grip my shirt. “Sam, if you have concerns, we can discuss them like adults. But not in front of the children.”
He scoffed. “I guess we don’t have a choice but to put up with this for now.”
And the other day, he said, “I guess you’re happy you won, Ruby.”
An annoyed young man | Source: Midjourney
By Sunday nights, I’d started dreading the week ahead. The joy I once felt watching my grandkids was overshadowed by Sam’s constant negativity and Alice’s relentless questioning:
“Did the baby cry? Did you change her diaper twice? Did you feed her?”
I had raised kids on my own — did they really think I was new to this whole motherhood thing? Some days were worse than others, but I let it slide, chalking it up to them being “new parents” trying too hard to get everything right.
A heartbroken senior woman sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
Thanksgiving was the breaking point. I’d told Alice and Sam well in advance that I’d have all my grandkids over during the holiday break. But Sam wasn’t happy.
“This isn’t safe,” he said during one particularly tense pickup. “You can’t watch all those kids and take care of Ellie properly.”
“I’ve been doing this for years, Sam,” I said, trying to keep my voice level. “All these children are family. They love each other, they look out for each other, and there’s nothing to worry about here.”
“That’s not good enough,” he interrupted. “Ellie needs individual attention. She needs —”
“Then make other arrangements,” I said calmly.
Of course, they didn’t.
An annoyed man holding a baby | Source: Midjourney
On the first day of Thanksgiving break, Sam picked Ellie up and made another snide comment, this time directly to her. “I’m sorry, my baby. I guess we have no choice but to leave you in an unsafe situation to be neglected.”
My heart shattered. Seven-month-old Ellie might not have understood the words, but I felt humiliated. Her lower lip trembled, and she began to cry.
“How dare you,” I whispered, my voice shaking with rage. “How dare you poison her against me? Against her family?”
I scooped Ellie up, soothing her tears while glaring at Sam. “You can criticize me all you want, but don’t you dare use this precious child as a weapon in your petty war.”
A senior woman having an emotional breakdown | Source: Midjourney
Sam opened his mouth to argue, but I cut him off. “You may think you’re the expert at everything, but let me remind you — respect is earned, not demanded. And right now? You’re running on empty.”
Sam scoffed, crossing his arms. “Respect? You mean like the respect you show by ignoring our rules? Funny, because from where I’m standing, you’re the one who’s out of line.”
That was it.
I called Alice that night, my voice hoarse from holding back tears. “You have two weeks to find other childcare. And from now on, Sam is not welcome here. If he comes to pick Ellie up, I won’t watch her again.”
An angry woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
“Mom, please,” Alice begged. “He didn’t mean —”
“He meant every word,” I cut her off. “And your silence makes you complicit. Two weeks, Alice. That’s final.”
Alice reluctantly agreed, and for a while, things improved. However, on New Year’s Day, I received several texts from friends with screenshots of a post that Sam had made on his social media page.
“Thankful we finally found someone safe to watch Ellie after dealing with a HORRIBLE babysitter,” the post read. He tagged me and added, “Some people just aren’t cut out for childcare.”
What hurt the most? Alice had liked the post.
A shocked senior woman staring at her phone | Source: Midjourney
I was LIVID. After months of free childcare, enduring Sam’s endless criticism and Alice’s never-ending demands, this was how they repaid me? I collapsed into my husband’s arms, sobbing.
“Thirty years,” I choked out. “I’ve been caring for children for 30 years. How can they say I’m not cut out for it?”
“They’re wrong,” he whispered, stroking my hair. “Everyone knows they’re wrong.”
I decided right then and there: I was done.
A few days later, Alice called again. “Mom, the daycare dropped Ellie. Can you start watching her again?”
An anxious young woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I took a deep breath, steadying myself against the kitchen counter. “I’m sorry for your situation, Alice, but I can’t do it. I don’t feel comfortable watching Ellie anymore.”
“Please, Mom,” she sobbed. “We don’t have anyone else. I might have to quit my job!”
“Maybe you should have thought about that before letting Sam publicly humiliate me. Before liking his cruel post.”
“That was stupid, I know,” she admitted. “I just… I felt trapped between you and him. Please, Mom. We’ll do anything.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” I whispered, tears rolling down my cheeks. “But sometimes ‘anything’ comes too late.”
A sad woman engaged on a phonecall | Source: Midjourney
Later, I found out the truth. The daycare hadn’t dropped Ellie — her parents had left because they couldn’t afford it. Alice and Sam hadn’t realized daycare didn’t provide essentials like diapers, wipes, and formula. They’d assumed $350 a week covered everything. Sam had also been shocked to learn that one worker cared for five infants at a time.
Now, they were scrambling. Sam had to sell his dirt bike, and Alice sold all her designer handbags to afford their child’s daycare.
My husband and stepson think I should reconsider for Ellie’s sake. “Sam’s the problem,” they argue. “Why punish Alice and Ellie for his behavior?”
A distressed woman lost in deep thought | Source: Midjourney
One night, during a heated family dinner, my stepson took a jab at me. “If this were your own daughter’s child, you’d forgive and move on.”
The room fell silent. I set down my fork, hands trembling.
“How dare you,” I whispered, tears stinging my eyes. “How dare you suggest I love any of my grandchildren less than others. I’ve poured my heart and soul into this family for decades. I’ve loved your children as my own. But love doesn’t mean accepting abuse.”
“Mom’s right,” my daughter Sarah spoke up, her voice fierce. “You all saw how Sam treated her. How Alice enabled it. Would you let someone treat your mother that way?”
A furious woman crossing her arms | Source: Midjourney
My stepson’s words stung, but they weren’t true. I’d always treated my stepkids and biological kids equally. The difference was respect. My own kids and their spouses respected me. But Alice and Sam didn’t.
Ellie eventually returned to daycare, and I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I could finally enjoy my time with my other grandkids without Sam’s negativity hanging over me.
One morning, while watching my grandson paint, he looked up at me with serious eyes.
“Grandma,” he said, “why doesn’t cousin Ellie come anymore?”
My heart clenched. “Sometimes, sweetheart, grown-ups have disagreements that make it hard to be together. But that doesn’t mean we love Ellie any less.”
A little boy with curious eyes | Source: Midjourney
“I miss her,” he said.
“Me too, baby,” I whispered. “Me too.”
Alice and Sam are learning the hard way that free childcare isn’t a right — it’s a privilege.
So, am I wrong for refusing to keep watching Ellie? Maybe. But respect is a two-way street. If they can’t appreciate the help they’ve been given, they’ll have to figure it out themselves.
Last week, I saw Alice at the grocery store. She looked tired and stressed. Our eyes met across the produce section, and for a moment, I saw my little girl again — the one who used to run to me with skinned knees and broken hearts, trusting me to make everything better.
But I’m not that kind of bandage anymore. To all the Sams and Alices of the world: grandma isn’t a free nanny.
A determined senior woman | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
Psychologists Explain Things We All See in Dreams, and It’s Better Not to Ignore Them
Humankind has been trying to solve the mystery of dreams for as long as they’ve existed. Today there is even a special discipline in the study of dreams called oneirology. Those who prefer the esoteric side of things over science love to interpret their dreams according to various dream books and believe that they can predict the future. But psychologists think that dreams accurately reflect our current condition and that our subconscious tries to tell us something important via dreams from time to time.
We at Bright Side have learned that there are dreams that are common for all of us. Each of us sees these types of dreams every now and then. These dreams are caused by our ancient instincts, a cultural code, the experience of our ancestors, and personal experience. A psychologist and an expert in the field of dreams, Patricia Garfield, calls them “universal dreams” and says, “Like a hearty stew that is rich with local produce, the universal dreams differ among different peoples, but they are all nourishing variants of the same wholesome meal. They are as old as humanity and as widespread as our globe.”
1. Falling
In adulthood, we see falling more often than flying. According to the psychologist Ian Wallace, a dream about falling symbolizes the fear of losing control. You can’t control something in your life anymore because some drastic changes that you were not ready for took place in your life. Think about what sphere of life (work, relationships, finances, health, etc.) you feel most suppressed or vulnerable in as well as the ways to correct it.
Some scientists explain dreams about falling with simple physiology. As the body is sinking into sleep, the nerve system starts to calm down, your blood pressure and heart rate decrease and your falling asleep brain (especially if it was overwhelmed during the day) can perceive this physiological change as danger or an approaching death and therefore, makes you wake up suddenly.
The opposite version of this dream is flying which signifies freeing oneself from some hard burden and getting the desirable freedom.
2. Teeth that fall out and injuries
Our subconscious interprets teeth as an indicator of strength, and an ability to “bite off” a piece of the world. “Perhaps, you have recently been feeling unarmed and helpless in the real world,” Penney Peirce explains.
Patricia Garfield, another expert who’s studied dreams for many years, connects dreams about teeth falling out with hidden anger. As a rule, when we suppress anger, we clench our jaw, and our teeth might start to creak and grind. This dream might be signaling that it’s high time to get rid of negative feelings.
We often have dreams where someone close to us is wounded or sick. Those dreams cause consternation; however, from psychology’s point of view, things are not that bad. It’s simply our fears of the future and inevitable changes with those close to us. If you see your own death, it means that some part of you is dying and staying in the past to give space to something new.
“Opposite” dreams about birth and recovery usually appear when something new is taking place in a person’s life (like a new job or project) and symbolize a new experience.
3. Failure at an exam or public performance
You’re about to take an exam and suddenly realize that you don’t remember anything or you can’t say a word when standing in front of a big crowd. These dreams might be experienced not only by students and school kids but also by people who have graduated a long time ago. It’s likely that you had some stress shortly before going to sleep or was extremely worried about something. In this case, it’s better to take a short break and relax.
4. Being chased or persecuted
Such dreams have several different meanings. An expert in the field of dreams named Lauri Loewenberg says, “People that tend to avoid conflict, who are afraid of ruffling feathers or causing issues will have the recurring dream of being chased.”
Pay attention to the thing chasing you — they symbolize an unpleasant feeling or situation that you try not to think about in real life. It can be debt or addiction. Are you chased by a person you know? Think about what or who you associate this person with. They might indicate some other person or even a part of your personality that you don’t want to admit (like a hidden talent or aspiration) in your dream.
There’s also a theory saying that dreams about running away from someone are simply the echoes of primitive instincts that are in our genes thanks to our ancestors. All because they were constantly running from predators.
5. Inappropriate clothes or an absence of any
In your dream, you turn up in a public place wearing inappropriate clothes or not wearing anything at all. In this situation, it’s important to pay attention to the feelings you encountered in your dream. These dreams are usually followed by a feeling of shame and embarrassment.
Psychologist Ian Wallace notes, “It means that you feel vulnerable at your new job or in your new relationship and are afraid that others will learn about your weaknesses and disadvantages.” However, if you don’t feel any shame in your dream but instead feel proud of yourself, the dream has the opposite meaning. Perhaps you feel a lack of recognition and admiration and would like others to see your talents as well as your personality more.
6. A catastrophe or an apocalypse
We’ve all dreamed about natural or man-made disasters where we’re scared for our own lives and the lives of those close to us. These dreams might indicate personal problems that have gotten out of control or are a result of feeling threatened by something. Of course, constant messages in the media about catastrophes and terrorist acts worsen the situation. As a result, we start feeling vulnerable in the modern world.
Sometimes, when having a nightmare, we try to shout out loud but feel that our voice has left us, which causes an even bigger fear. Psychologists explain it as sleep paralysis. During the last phase of sleep, when we have dreams, our brain purposefully paralyzes the body so that we can lie still and not “live” in our sleep by running, jumping, etc. People who have sleep paralysis usually wake up before the end of the last phase and enter a state between sleep and reality for a short period. This can be felt as an inability to move, speak, and, in some cases, breathe.
7. Faulty equipment or vehicles
You try to use some gadget or device, and it breaks right away. For example, your phone stops working, and you can’t call anyone. According to Patricia Garfield, these dreams are more often experienced by women and symbolize worries about relationships or losing an emotional connection with someone.
Dreams in which you’re trying to operate a vehicle that doesn’t work properly or breaks down are in the same category. You are likely missing support and can’t cope with a difficult life situation by yourself.
8. Pregnancy
As strange as it might sound, it’s not only women who can have dreams about pregnancy. A psychologist name David Bedrick says, “Pregnancy symbolizes something new growing inside us.” You subconsciously dream about “giving birth” to a new fascinating creative project. It can be anything from writing a book to repairing a house. It’s time to set a goal and show the world how you can take on this new role.
If you’re not pregnant in real life, you may be seeking fulfillment after having such a dream.
9. Being late
Dreams that have you running after a departing train or running late for an important meeting can occur quite often. According to a dream expert, Michael R. Olsen, they can symbolize the fear of missing out on something very important in your relationships or in the upbringing of your child, for example. If you’re constantly overwhelmed and don’t have much time to accomplish things in real life, your subconscious is signaling that it’s time for you to reconsider your schedule and free up time for really important things.
10. An unknown room
Dreams about new rooms are about self-knowledge. If you find yourself in an unknown house in your dream, it means that you don’t know yourself well and try to neglect some sides of your character. A separate unfamiliar room symbolizes that you have a hidden talent, skill, or opportunity that you don’t use.
A psychotherapist named Eddie Traversa thinks that we subconsciously associate some rooms with certain processes. A kitchen is a place where products get transformed into a finished dish which means that you’re currently going through some inner changes. A bathroom is a symbol of freeing oneself from unnecessary baggage. It might symbolize that it’s time to get rid of something that is not needed any longer. A bathroom is a symbol of cleansing and it means that you feel the necessity to clarify things or see them in a different light. A bedroom signifies the things that worry you in your romantic relationship.
Have you ever experienced any of these dreams or do you usually see something different? Please tell us about it in the comments!
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