Anne Hegerty, known from The Chase, shared that her biggest fear about dating is having a man invade her personal space.
The quizzer, who was diagnosed with autism at 45, opened up about her challenges, mentioning a time when she unplugged her phone to stop a boyfriend from contacting her.
At The Paul Strank Roofing Charity Gala in Kensington, London, she honestly said that she thinks she would make a terrible partner.
Anne, 66, said, “I really struggle with being close to others and having anyone else in the house.
“I think a lot of autistic people don’t get married or settle down.”
Anne explained, “I don’t even have pets because of this, and my ability to live with other people is getting smaller. I need a lot of alone time.
“I always feel like I need more space than anyone can give me. If I wanted a relationship, I could find one, but honestly, I don’t.”
She also mentioned that her longest relationship only lasted four months. Reflecting on that time, she said, “It only worked for those few months because I was in Manchester. I kind of set it up so it wouldn’t last.”
In the end, she wrote to him to end things. “I remember crying with relief and then crying with guilt,” she shared.
Anne felt overwhelmed during that relationship. “Sometimes, I unplugged the phone because he tried to call me every day. I just wanted it to be over.
“I’d sit there waiting for the phone to ring, thinking, ‘Don’t phone, don’t phone, don’t phone!’ Other times, to get over the waiting, I’d call him, but that made him think I wanted to talk. I really just wanted to end it. I didn’t want to talk to him or anyone!”
Anne joked that she hasn’t lacked offers from admirers who seem to like her “Mrs. Trunchbull” Governess outfit.
She said, “I’m sure some people are attracted to the whole look of The Governess. I think there are some who might be interested if they let me.”
Anne said, “I do meet attractive men, but I know it won’t work out. I feel like it’s not fair to them because I won’t treat them well.”
She added, “I always want more space than they can give me. If I wanted a relationship, I could find someone, but I don’t.”
She thinks it’s better not to date at all and enjoys having men as friends more than women. She recalled a quiz she attended in June, where a woman pointed out they were the only two women in the room, but Anne hadn’t even noticed because she was talking to her male friends.
Anne also shared that this is part of why she never had children, even though she is great with kids. “I did want children, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it very well.”
About 20 years ago, two kids from her neighborhood used to come over. “We limited their visits to just one hour a day, but they always wanted to stay longer. They were wonderful kids, and we’re now friends on Facebook, but I couldn’t handle that for more than an hour.”
Anne takes her role as godmother to Mark “Beast” Labbett’s eight-year-old son, Lawrence, very seriously.
She said, “Lawrence’s birthday is at the end of November, so I usually send a birthday and Christmas present at the same time—but they are not the same gift. My parents had winter birthdays, and I knew they hated getting just one present for two celebrations.”
Anne joked that one of the gifts she gave Lawrence was a bit inappropriate—a toy crossbow. “So, weaponry,” she laughed. “But lately, I’ve been giving him Minecraft vouchers since he really loves that.”
She also mentioned that she has spent Christmas alone for the past 40 years. That’s why she’s especially happy to be playing the Fairy Godmother in this year’s panto, Cinderella, in Scarborough.
Anne, who was on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here in 2018, said, “Now that I’m in panto, I can say, ‘Sorry, I’m in Scarborough!’ and that’s my only day off.”
She sees it as a great day off. Even though many people invite her to spend Christmas with them, she prefers not to. “I don’t do Christmas dinner or a tree. When I was a kid, I just remember all the pine needles everywhere!”
Earlier this year, Anne took on another acting role, making a cameo as a neighbor in a film called Exorcising Barry, which is about a man obsessed with a demon.
Anne said that any chance of going to Hollywood is out of the question.
She explained, “America wouldn’t want me because I’m fat. I have a friend who went there for work, and even though she looks amazing, they told her she needed to lose weight. I’m fine with how I am, but they don’t like fat British actresses.”
Despite this, she has had great success in Britain. Talking about The Chase’s recent National Television Award win, she said, “I’m so happy. Bradley Walsh is amazing. It’s been 14 years, and I love it.”
She added, “Other kids used to sing in front of the mirror with a hairbrush. When I was younger, I practiced being interviewed for when I became famous. I don’t know why, but it’s always been my dream.”
We Adopted a 4-Year-Old Girl – A Month Later, She Came to Me and Said, ‘Mommy, Don’t Trust Daddy’
A month after adopting Jennifer, she looked up at me with wide eyes and whispered, “Mommy, don’t trust Daddy.” Her words echoed in my mind as I began to wonder what secrets my husband could be hiding.
I looked down at Jennifer’s small face, taking in those big, watchful eyes and the shy, uncertain smile she wore. After all those years of hoping, trying, waiting, here she was, our daughter.
A small happy girl | Source: Pexels
Richard was practically glowing. He couldn’t stop looking at her, like he was trying to memorize every feature, every expression.
“Look at her, Marla,” he whispered, his voice filled with awe. “She’s just perfect.”
I gave him a soft smile, my hand resting on Jennifer’s shoulder. “She really is.”
A happy family and their daughter | Source: Pexels
We’d come such a long way to get here. It had been doctor’s appointments, long talks, and an endless paperwork of adoption. When we finally met Jennifer, something in me just… knew. She was only four, so little, and so quiet, but she already felt like ours.
It’s been a few weeks since we’ve officially adopted Jen, and we decided it was time for a small family outing. Richard leaned down to her level, smiling warmly. “Hey. How about we go get some ice cream? Would you like that?”
A man talking to his young daughter | Source: Freepik
Jennifer looked at him, then glanced up at me, as if waiting for my reaction. She didn’t answer right away, just gave the smallest nod, pressing herself closer to my side.
Richard chuckled softly, though I could hear a hint of nervousness in it. “All right, ice cream it is. We’ll make it a special treat.”
A man playing with his daughter | Source: Freepik
Jennifer stayed close to me as we walked out. Richard led the way, glancing back every now and then and smiling hopefully. I watched him try to coax her out, to make her feel at ease. But each time he asked a question, Jennifer’s grip on my hand tightened a little, her gaze drifting back to me.
When we got to the ice cream shop, Richard stepped up to the counter, ready to order for her. “How about chocolate? Or maybe strawberry?” he asked, his voice bright.
A man picking out ice cream | Source: Midjourney
She looked at him, then looked at me again, her voice barely a whisper. “Vanilla, please.”
Richard seemed taken aback for just a second, then smiled. “Vanilla it is.”
Jennifer seemed content to let him order, but I noticed she barely looked his way as we sat down. Instead, she ate quietly, staying close to my side. She watched Richard with a cautious sort of interest, not saying much, and I wondered if it was all just too much for her.
A serious young girl | Source: Pexels
Later that evening, as I tucked Jennifer into bed, she clung to my arm a little longer than I expected.
“Mommy?” she whispered, her voice hesitant.
“Yes, sweetie?”
She looked away for a moment, then back up at me, eyes wide and serious. “Don’t trust Daddy.”
A serious girl talking to her mother | Source: Midjourney
I froze, my heart skipping a beat. I knelt beside her, brushing her hair back. “Why would you say that, honey?”
She shrugged, but her lips turned downward in a sad little frown. “He’s talking weird. Like he is hiding something.”
It took me a moment to respond. I tried to keep my voice gentle. “Jennifer, Daddy loves you very much. He’s just trying to help you feel at home. You know that, right?”
A smiling woman talking to her daughter | Source: Midjourney
She didn’t respond, just curled up a little tighter under her blankets. I stayed there, holding her hand, wondering where this was coming from. Could she just be nervous? Maybe adjusting was harder for her than I realized. But as I looked at her small, serious face, a faint unease crept in.
When I finally left her room, I found Richard waiting by the door. “How’d she do?” he asked, his face hopeful.
A serious man | Source: Pexels
“She’s asleep,” I replied softly, watching his expression.
“That’s good.” He seemed relieved, but I noticed how his smile wavered just a little. “I know it’s all new for her. For all of us. But I think we’ll be fine. Don’t you?”
I nodded, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of Jennifer’s words echoing in my mind.
A woman deep in thought | Source: Pexels
The next day, as I stirred the pasta on the stove, I heard Richard’s voice drift in from the living room. He was on the phone, his tone low and tense. I paused, wiping my hands on a towel, and listened as his words floated into the kitchen.
“It’s been… harder than I expected,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “She’s… sharp. Jennifer’s noticing more than I thought she would. I’m afraid she might tell Marla.”
A man talking on his phone with his back to the camera | Source: Pexels
I felt my heartbeat quicken, my mind racing to make sense of what I’d heard. Jennifer might tell me? Tell me what? I tried to shake it off, telling myself there must be an explanation. But as I listened, my pulse only pounded harder.
“It’s just… so hard to keep things under wraps,” Richard continued. “I don’t want Marla to find out… not until it’s ready.”
A serious suspicious woman | Source: Freepik
I froze, clutching the countertop. What wasn’t I supposed to find out? What could he possibly be keeping from me? I strained to hear, but then his voice dropped lower, and I couldn’t make out the rest of his conversation. A few moments later, he ended the call and started walking toward the kitchen.
I turned back to the stove, my mind whirling. I stirred the pasta with more force than necessary, trying to act normal as Richard stepped in, looking pleased.
A smiling man looking at his wife cooking | Source: Pexels
“Smells good in here,” he said, wrapping his arms around me.
I forced a smile, my hands gripping the spoon. “Thanks. Almost done.” My voice sounded strange to my own ears, and I felt my smile falter as his words echoed in my head: I’m afraid she might tell Marla… It’s hard to keep things under wraps.
A woman cooking with a forced smile | Source: Midjourney
Later that evening, after we’d tucked Jennifer in, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I needed answers. I found Richard in the living room, browsing through some paperwork, and sat down across from him, hands clasped tightly in my lap.
“Richard,” I began, my voice steadier than I felt, “I overheard you on the phone earlier.”
A couple having a serious talk | Source: Pexels
He looked up, raising an eyebrow, a mix of surprise and… something else crossing his face. “Oh?” he said, clearly caught off guard. “What did you hear?”
I hesitated, choosing my words carefully. “I heard you say that Jennifer might… tell me something. And that it’s hard to keep things ‘under wraps.’” I met his gaze, my heart pounding. “What are you hiding from me?”
A sad serious woman hugging her knees | Source: Pexels
For a moment, he just stared at me, his face a mixture of confusion and worry. Then, as understanding dawned, his expression softened. He set his papers aside and leaned forward, reaching for my hand.
“Marla,” he said gently, “I’m not hiding anything bad. I promise.” His grip on my hand was warm, reassuring, but it didn’t settle the knots in my stomach.
A frustrated man | Source: Pexels
“Then what is it?” I whispered, barely able to meet his eyes. “What don’t you want Jennifer to tell me?”
Richard took a deep breath, his face breaking into a sheepish smile. “I didn’t want you to find out because… well, I was planning a surprise for Jennifer’s birthday. With my brother’s help.” He squeezed my hand, looking slightly embarrassed. “I wanted it to be a big deal, a special first birthday with us.”
A serious man talking on his couch | Source: Midjourney
I blinked, not quite processing his words at first. “A surprise party?” I asked slowly, the tension in my chest easing just a bit.
He nodded. “I wanted it to be perfect for her. I thought we could show her how much we care. That she’s part of our family now.” He smiled, looking a little relieved. “I knew Jennifer might say something, and I was worried she’d ruin the surprise.”
A surprise party for a small girl | Source: Midjourney
A wave of relief washed over me, though I felt a strange pang of guilt. Here I’d been imagining… well, I didn’t even know what I’d been imagining. “Richard,” I whispered, lowering my head, “I’m so sorry. I just… I thought there was something wrong.”
He chuckled softly, brushing his thumb over my hand. “Hey, it’s okay. I get it. We’re both just trying to adjust.”
Man and woman holding hands | Source: Pexels
I nodded, trying to let go of the doubts that had taken hold of me. “I think Jennifer’s just… protective,” I said, trying to explain. “She doesn’t know what to expect, and when she told me not to trust you… I guess it just got to me.”
Richard gave a thoughtful nod. “She’s a sensitive kid. I think she’s still finding her way.” He looked at me, his expression earnest. “We’ll just have to make sure she feels safe and loved. All three of us.”
A happy couple talking on the couch | Source: Midjourney
The next morning, as I watched Richard gently help Jennifer pick out her breakfast cereal, I felt my heart lift a little. He looked over at her with so much patience, and even though she barely glanced up, I could see the trust slowly building between them.
I walked over and joined them at the table, my hand resting on Jennifer’s shoulder. She looked up at me, her eyes calm, and a small smile crept across her face. It was as if she could sense the new peace between us, as if some unspoken worry had finally lifted.
A happy family playing together | Source: Pexels
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This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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