‘Families don’t have to match’ – Black couple share their journey to adopting three white children

Sadie and Jarvis Sampson tried everything for years to get pregnant, and eventually they accepted that they would only ever be aunt and uncle. Then, one day, they received a text that completely turned their world upside down.

Since getting married in January 2018, the pair has been trying to get pregnant, so when that didn’t work out naturally, they tried everything else.

The Houston mother told Love What Matters, “Ovulation tests, prenatal vitamins, cycle tracking apps, fertility monitors.”

“We didn’t even try our luck at following the unsolicited counsel of strangers, friends, and family. We tried, prayed, and waited for fourteen months. Month after Month. pregnancy test negative following negative test. It appeared like we would require help getting pregnant. We even went so far as to discuss it with medical professionals.

The couple seemed to get little assistance from the doctors. Sadie was advised by everyone that she would get pregnant if she reduced weight. Since she had no other options, she underwent gastric surgery and shed 28 pounds.’

“She informed me that since she was unable to give me the fertility medication, she would refer me to a fertility specialist if I wasn’t pregnant within six months,” Sadie recalled. I was ecstatic to hear that. We finally received a response other than “no”! We were ecstatic to hear “not right now.”

Unfortunately, though, the couple felt as though they had begun over after Sadie lost the weight and they were unable to conceive.

Connecting the Dots – Adoption Puzzle Fundraising EventAs everyone is aware, we received a call regarding our little two weeks ago.

Published on Friday, August 30, 2019 by Sadie Sampson

Sadie said, “I had always felt like I was meant to be a mother.” “I was still not pregnant even though my surgeon had spent a long time to warn me about how fertile I would be following surgery. Thus, we gave up. We came to the realization that our only destiny was to be our nieces’ aunts and uncles and our goddaughters’ godparents.

The couple had just come to the painful conclusion that they would not be able to conceive when Sadie’s friend texted her to ask if they would be willing to foster a child that a couple she knew was thinking about for themselves.

At first, the couple was apprehensive since they had been instructed by a caseworker to look after the child while the mother sought therapy. The couple was concerned that they would grow overly devoted to the child. But soon after, the narrative was altered.

The caseworker stated, “The birth mother decided she would prefer you guys adopt the child instead.”

“Holy crap!!” was the first thing Sadie uttered out loud when she learned she was expecting a child.

“Overnight, we went from not having any kids to possibly fostering one to, ‘You guys are parents!’” Still in shock, I listened to the caseworker as she spoke. After hanging up, I dialed my spouse! “Baby!” They desire that we adopt the child! They want us to have kids,” I cried out. Hold on! Really? He exclaimed, “I assumed they just wanted us to foster him.” “Nope!” “They want us to be his parents,” I remarked.

Over the weekend, the couple not only processed the surprising news but also braced themselves in case the mother had second thoughts.

On Monday, the mother not only expressed her desire for them to adopt the child, but also stated that she was prepared to sign the adoption papers independently.

At 33 weeks, their son had been born—seven weeks ahead of schedule. His weight was 4 lbs. 5 oz. Sadie writes, “He fit in one of my husband’s hands.”

Sadie said, “He was so small, swaddled in a white blanket with stripes of pink and blue.” He was early, therefore he couldn’t eat on his own, thus an NG tube was coming out of his nose. But my goodness, was he adorable!

The couple was urged to create a registry after they announced their announcement on social media. In just three days, 55 of the 72 goods they had advertised had been purchased.

Following the adoption of Ezra Lee, which was completed in October 2020, the couple had the cutest family portraits shot, sporting t-shirts that said, “Families don’t have to match.”

Through embryo donation, Sadie and Jarvis became parents to twin twins, Destinee and Journey, in 2021. The black couple, adhering to their family credo, “Families don’t have to match,” gave birth to three white children: two girls and one boy.

There is just one reaction for anyone who judges this lovely family: love is the strongest foundation there is.

My MIL Shamed Me in Front of the Whole Family for ‘Not Bringing Enough’ to Her Birthday Party—After I Cooked the Entire Meal

When my MIL turned 60, she threw a classy family dinner and sent out dish assignments. I was told to make five gourmet dishes from scratch. I cooked all day… only to be publicly shamed during the toast. Little did she know, I had something in my purse that would cut her down to size.

I knew I was in trouble when the “dish assignment” text came through. It was longer than my wedding vows, formatted with bullet points and everything.

A woman holding a cell phone | Source: Pexels

A woman holding a cell phone | Source: Pexels

My mother-in-law was turning 60, a milestone she’d decided to celebrate with what she called a “classy family dinner party.”

She’d already declared it would be a formal, themed event with all the cooking done “with love by the family.”

Which sounded fair enough. Nobody should have to cook for their own birthday party, but I understood there was more to what Sandra was saying.

A thoughtful woman | Source: Midjourney

A thoughtful woman | Source: Midjourney

In Sandra-speak, that meant we would do all the work and she’d take all the credit. Just like last Thanksgiving, when my SIL complimented the sweet potato casserole I made, and Sandra replied, “Thank you! It did turn out well, didn’t it?”

She may not have overtly claimed the credit, but Sandra was a master of speaking in implications.

I scrolled through the text, seeing the usual pattern.

A woman using her phone | Source: Pexels

A woman using her phone | Source: Pexels

Sandra had told both her daughters to bring wine. Her niece was expected to bring bread rolls, and her son, my husband, just had to bring his appetite.

My assignment was right at the bottom.

“Mandy, you’ll bring a three-layer veggie lasagna (with homemade pasta sheets)

Quinoa & beet salad with goat cheese

Two dozen falafel with dipping sauces

Lemon-blueberry bundt cake

Caprese skewers with fresh pesto drizzle.”

A woman staring at her phone in shock | Source: Midjourney

A woman staring at her phone in shock | Source: Midjourney

And then, the kicker: “Everything MUST be made from scratch. No shortcuts!” In bold. As if I’d consider using store-bought pesto for Her Royal Highness’s birthday dinner.

I walked over to my husband, who was sprawled on the couch watching basketball.

“Is this a joke?” I asked, waving my phone at him.

He glanced up briefly. “What?”

A man looking at someone | Source: Midjourney

A man looking at someone | Source: Midjourney

I thrust the phone closer. “This list from your mother. She expects me to make five dishes from scratch for her birthday. Five! Your sisters are just bringing wine.”

He shrugged and turned back to the game. “It’s her birthday, babe.”

“That’s all you have to say?” I could feel my blood pressure rising. “Do you know how much work this is?”

An annoyed woman with her head in her hands | Source: Midjourney

An annoyed woman with her head in her hands | Source: Midjourney

“Mom always gives you the complicated stuff because you’re the best cook,” he said, like that was supposed to be a compliment.

“And that doesn’t strike you as unfair? At all?”

Another shrug. “That’s just how she is.”

His apathy said everything.

A man smiling apologetically | Source: Midjourney

A man smiling apologetically | Source: Midjourney

This was normal to him. I cooked, everyone ate, and Sandra claimed all the praise. The cycle continued, and I was expected to just… go with it.

So I did. For two days before the party, I cooked, boiled, chopped, sautéed, and baked.

As I whisked the goat cheese dressing, I kept thinking about Thanksgiving and that sweet potato casserole.

A whisk beside a bowl of dressing | Source: Pexels

A whisk beside a bowl of dressing | Source: Pexels

Having Sandra steal credit for a single dish was one thing, but I was practically catering her party for free.

She wouldn’t dare pull that stunt this time, would she?

By the time I finished, our kitchen looked like a cooking show had exploded in it. Every surface was covered in flour, beet juice, or olive oil.

Spilled flour around a pasta maker | Source: Pexels

Spilled flour around a pasta maker | Source: Pexels

But the food? The food looked amazing. I carefully packed each dish in containers, labeling them with heating instructions. I was exhausted but proud.

“Did you have to make the pasta from scratch?” my husband asked, surveying the kitchen disaster.

“Your mother specified ‘no shortcuts,’” I replied.

A woman looking over her shoulder while speaking | Source: Midjourney

A woman looking over her shoulder while speaking | Source: Midjourney

“You went all out,” he said, lifting the lid on the bundt cake. “Mom will be impressed.”

I didn’t respond. After six years, I knew better.

The night of the dinner, I arrived early with my husband, arms loaded with food containers. Sandra greeted us at the door in a stylish outfit, looking like she’d stepped out of a retirement commercial.

A haughty, well-dressed woman | Source: Midjourney

A haughty, well-dressed woman | Source: Midjourney

“There you are,” she said, giving me her signature air kiss somewhere near my cheek. She barely glanced at the stacked containers in my arms. “Just put those in the kitchen.”

“There are heating instructions on each one,” I told her, balancing the tower of food. “The lasagna needs about 40 minutes at 350 degrees.”

“Yes, yes,” she said, already turning away.

A woman gesturing dismissively | Source: Midjourney

A woman gesturing dismissively | Source: Midjourney

In the kitchen, I carefully arranged my offerings, making sure everything looked perfect. I had even brought garnishes in separate containers to add just before serving.

The house gradually filled with family members.

Glasses clinked, conversations flowed, and eventually, Sandra announced it was time to eat. My sisters-in-law helped me carry the dishes to the dining room, where an elaborate buffet was set up.

Dishes arranged on a table buffet-style | Source: Pexels

Dishes arranged on a table buffet-style | Source: Pexels

“Wow, who made the lasagna?” Sandra’s sister asked, loading her plate.

“This falafel is incredible,” someone else called out.

From across the room, I heard Sandra’s voice, clear as day: “Oh thank you! My girls did such an amazing job this year.”

I froze, fork halfway to my mouth.

A portion of lasagna on a plate | Source: Pexels

A portion of lasagna on a plate | Source: Pexels

I watched as Sandra beamed, gesturing toward her daughters. They looked confused but smiled politely.

“Are you kidding me?” I whispered to my husband. “That’s my food.”

Jeff swallowed and shot me an awkward glance. “Well, she didn’t say it wasn’t…”

A man smiling apologetically at a dinner table | Source: Midjourney

A man smiling apologetically at a dinner table | Source: Midjourney

“She didn’t say it was either,” I shot back.

“Should I say something?”

There was a pleading look in his eyes that told me he was hoping I wouldn’t say “yes.”

“It’s okay,” I said quietly. “Let’s just see what happens.”

I didn’t need Jeff to stand up for me because I’d come prepared.

A woman with a confident smile | Source: Midjourney

A woman with a confident smile | Source: Midjourney

What happened was Sandra didn’t mention me once. Not when guests raved about the bundt cake. Not when her brother-in-law went back for thirds of the falafel. Not even when her husband commented on how good the lasagna was.

Then came the toast.

Sandra tapped her glass with a spoon and rose from her chair like she was accepting an Oscar.

A woman holding a wine glass | Source: Pexels

A woman holding a wine glass | Source: Pexels

“I want to thank everyone who helped make this evening so special,” she began, her voice carrying across the room. “Well, most of you.”

Laughter rippled through the crowd.

She raised her glass higher. “Some went above and beyond. Others just showed up.”

And then she looked right at me. In front of 20 family members. And smirked.

A woman at a dinner table smirking at someone | Source: Midjourney

A woman at a dinner table smirking at someone | Source: Midjourney

That smirk was the final straw. Six decades of perfecting the art of the subtle insult had culminated in this moment — a perfectly crafted barb wrapped in a birthday toast.

I’d hoped for better, but as they say, “hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.”

I reached into my bag and pulled out an envelope I had brought just in case of a moment like this.

A handbag on the floor near a woman's feet | Source: Pexels

A handbag on the floor near a woman’s feet | Source: Pexels

“Actually, Sandra,” I said, standing up calmly, “I’m so glad you mentioned that.”

The room went quiet. All eyes turned to me.

“Since you were keeping track of who contributed what,” I continued, pulling out my stack of grocery receipts, “I figured we could split the cost of the $263.48 I spent making the dishes you assigned me.”

A woman holding up a receipt | Source: Pexels

A woman holding up a receipt | Source: Pexels

I smiled sweetly. “I’ll accept Venmo, Zelle, PayPal, or cash. Whichever works for you.”

A cousin choked on her wine. My husband’s younger sister giggled into her napkin. Even Sandra’s husband mumbled, “Well… fair’s fair.”

Sandra blinked rapidly, and seeing her caught off-guard like that made all those hours spent cooking worth it.

A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney

A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney

“I… I need to check on the candles for the cake,” she muttered, before fleeing to the kitchen.

My husband squeezed my hand under the table. “That was amazing,” he whispered.

“Was it too much?” I asked, suddenly worried.

“No,” he said firmly. “It was exactly enough.”

A man looking at someone | Source: Midjourney

A man looking at someone | Source: Midjourney

Sandra returned, eventually, and the evening continued. She never mentioned the receipts. She never apologized. She never even looked me in the eye again that night.

I didn’t say anything else either. I didn’t need to. The room had heard it.

The next day, my sister-in-law called.

A cell phone | Source: Pexels

A cell phone | Source: Pexels

“You’re a legend now,” she laughed. “Mom was on the phone with Aunt Carla for an hour complaining about how you embarrassed her.”

“I didn’t mean to embarrass her,” I said, though part of me knew that wasn’t entirely true.

“Well, you did. And it was about time someone did,” she replied. “Aunt Carla agreed with you, by the way. So did Dad.”

In the weeks that followed, the story spread through the family.

Two women speaking while crossing a street | Source: Pexels

Two women speaking while crossing a street | Source: Pexels

It became known as “The Receipt Incident.” Anytime a family dinner got planned, someone would joke, “Better bring your receipts, or Sandra might think you just showed up.”

She hasn’t assigned me a single dish since. Not one. At Thanksgiving, she called and specifically told me not to bring anything. At Christmas, she hired a caterer.

A table decorated for Christmas dinner | Source: Pexels

A table decorated for Christmas dinner | Source: Pexels

Which is totally fine by me.

Because now I bring the one thing Sandra wasn’t ready for: boundaries, served cold.

This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.

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