Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
My MIL Interrupted Our Wedding Ceremony Showing Up in a Hearse and Left Shocking ‘Wedding Gift’ Inside
I never expected to find a hearse at my wedding, much less one driven by my mother-in-law Linda. But there she was, rolling up to our ceremony in a polished black funeral vehicle, ready to deliver what she called a “special gift.”
You know those moments in life that are so absurd you wonder if you’re dreaming? Well, my wedding day turned into one of those moments. And trust me, no amount of wedding planning could have prepared me for what happened.
A bride looking straight ahead | Source: Midjourney
My fiancé, Ben, and I always wanted a dreamy summer wedding. We’ve been together since high school and our wedding day was something I’d been looking forward to for years.
As I stared into his eyes standing under a white flower arch, I couldn’t believe this was really happening. I couldn’t believe we were about to begin a new chapter of our lives.
Ben’s hands were warm in mine as he read his vows, his voice soft with emotion. “Molly, from the moment we met…”
HONK! HONNNNNK!
A couple holding hands | Source: Pexels
The sound cut through our ceremony like a knife.
Two hundred heads turned toward the gravel path leading to our outdoor venue. That’s when we saw a massive black hearse crawling toward us.
“Oh God,” Ben whispered, his face draining of color. “Please tell me that’s not…”
“Your mother? Of course, it is,” I muttered, watching Linda’s dramatic entrance unfold.
This was classic Linda.
I still remember the first time I witnessed one of her dramatic displays. It was our freshman year of high school.
A school hallway | Source: Pexels
Linda had hired an entire mariachi band to follow Ben through the hallways all day because he’d forgotten to call her during his weekend at his dad’s. It was her way to teach him a lesson and show her importance.
I can still picture Ben’s mortified face as the band serenaded him in the cafeteria, trumpets blaring while Linda stood in the doorway ‘conducting’ them with dramatic flourishes.
Who could’ve guessed that the red-faced boy trying to disappear behind his math textbook would become my husband?
A young boy standing in his classroom | Source: Midjourney
This wasn’t the only time she’d been super dramatic. I can never forget what she did at our engagement party last year.
She showed up in a floor-length white wedding gown, donning a tiara and a cathedral veil.
When my mom politely asked about her choice of attire, Linda blinked innocently and said, “Oh, I thought we were supposed to wear what we’ll wear to the wedding.”
Yeah, right, I thought when Mom told me about her response.
She spent the entire evening twirling around, showing off the dress’s ‘superior quality’ compared to the one I’d chosen for my wedding day.
A close-up shot of a white gown | Source: Pexels
But what she did this time was something totally different.
“Maybe she’ll just park and quietly join the ceremony,” Ben’s sister Melissa whispered behind me as we looked at the car.
I almost laughed.
Linda? Quiet? The woman had spent the last three years making sure everyone knew exactly how she felt about me. How could she just quietly join our wedding ceremony this time?
A hearse | Source: Midjourney
The hearse’s brakes squealed as it stopped right beside the flower-lined aisle. Linda emerged wearing a floor-length black dress and dark sunglasses, looking like the widow in a 1950s murder mystery.
“Did you know she’d wear this today?” Ben asked as he squeezed my hand.
“No,” I replied, watching his mother’s theatrical exit from the vehicle. “But honestly, I’m surprised she didn’t hire professional mourners to follow her around wailing.”
Ben tried to suppress a smile, but I could see the tension in his jaw.
A groom at his wedding | Source: Midjourney
His mother’s financial hold over him had always been her favorite weapon. Those college loans she’d paid for came with strings attached. Strings she loved to pull whenever Ben showed signs of breaking free.
Linda glided down the aisle like she was leading a funeral procession. She paused dramatically in front of our officiant, dabbing at her eyes with a black lace handkerchief.
“I just want everyone to know,” she announced, her voice trembling with fake emotion, “that this IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!”
An older woman in a black dress | Source: Midjourney
A collective gasp rippled through the crowd. I heard my aunt Martha mutter, “Oh, for heaven’s sake.”
“Mom,” Ben started, but Linda held up her hand.
“No, Benjamin, let me finish,” she said.
Then, she turned to address our guests.
“To me, this is like… like a death in the family.” She pressed the handkerchief to her heart. “But I did bring a ‘special gift’ for the occasion. It’s in the back of the hearse. You’ll want to see it.”
A woman standing at her son’s wedding | Source: Midjourney
“Linda,” Ben’s aunt called out, “That’s enough.”
But Linda was already striding back to the hearse, her heels clicking against the gravel. The guests watched in horrified fascination as she threw open the back doors.
“Is that…” I squinted. “Is that a coffin?”
Sure enough, Linda was now dragging out an enormous black coffin adorned with a massive white bow.
Several guests started recording on their phones because this looked like something they wanted to post on social media. It had the potential to go viral.
A man holding his phone | Source: Pexels
“What the…” Ben mumbled, feeling helpless. “How could she—”
“Inside this coffin,” Linda declared, patting its glossy surface, “is something that represents the ‘death’ of my dreams for my son. The end of everything I’d hoped for him.”
Then, she looked at me and said, “And also for what he deserves.”
With theatrical timing, she flung open the coffin lid. Inside lay a massive wreath and a note that read, Here lies Ben’s happiness — forever lost.
A note | Source: Midjourney
That’s when someone in the back snorted, and suddenly everyone started laughing.
I should’ve felt embarrassed watching all my friends and family laughing at Linda’s exaggerated entry, but I didn’t. Instead, I felt a wave of anger rush through my veins.
What she just did reminded me of all the times I’d let her passive-aggressive comments slide and ignored how she mistreated me in front of her family members.
A woman standing outdoors | Source: Midjourney
I didn’t even say anything to her when she showed up in that white gown at our engagement party. I stayed quiet for Ben’s sake, but this time, I knew I had to speak up.
This time, I knew she had crossed all limits.
I looked at Ben, silently asking permission to do what I wanted. He met my eyes and gave a slight nod. His expression told me he was so done with his mother’s controlling behavior.
Enough was enough.
A bride standing outdoors | Source: Midjourney
I took a deep breath and walked over to Linda as she stood beside her ridiculous coffin. I could see everyone’s eyes on me as I approached her.
“You know what, Linda?” I said, making sure my voice carried. “You’re absolutely right. Something does need to be put to rest today.”
“I know darling,” she smiled, unaware of what I’d say next. “I’m always right.”
“The idea that you have any control over Ben’s life… that needs to be put to rest,” I said. “Enough of the controlling behavior, Linda.”
A bride looking at her mother-in-law | Source: Midjourney
Her mouth dropped open in outrage.
Before she could speak, I reached into my bouquet and pulled out the black permanent marker I’d tucked there for the guest book.
With deliberate strokes, I wrote across the coffin lid, RIP MIL Control.
The crowd erupted in cheers and applause.
Then, I watched as Ben joined me and took the marker from my hand. He added two words on the lid, Forever Free.
Linda lunged for the marker, but Ben held it out of reach.
A man looking down | Source: Midjourney
“You’re right, Mom,” he said, his voice firm but calm. “Something has to end here. Your manipulation stops now.”
“If that’s how you feel,” Linda spat, “don’t expect to see a dime of your inheritance. I’m done with both of you.”
That was classic Linda behavior. She was never ready to accept her mistake or apologize. All she knew was how to control her son and act like she was the most important person in the world.
A woman at her son’s wedding | Source: Midjourney
Ben and I watched as she stormed back to the hearse, leaving the coffin behind. The tires spun on gravel as she sped away.
At that point, we both knew what her departure meant. She’d do everything to ensure none of their connections would help Ben with his career. We also knew we wouldn’t have access to the money in their joint bank accounts.
Honestly, I thought Ben would try to apologize to her, but what he said next made me realize I was marrying the right man.
A groom looking at the bride | Source: Midjourney
“I know she’ll try to cut us off, but I don’t care. No money is worth dealing with that,” he looked straight into my eyes. “I’d rather build from scratch with you than live under her control.”
We finished our vows right there, next to that ridiculous coffin, and honestly? It felt perfect.
However, this isn’t where the story ends.
A month after our wedding, Linda’s creative accounting at the family business came to light. Her dramatic exit at our wedding prompted some relatives to finally speak up about her sketchy financial dealings.
A close-up shot of a report | Source: Pexels
Soon after the investigation began, the authorities found proof that Linda had been funneling funds from the family business for years.
As a result, her assets were frozen, and she was kicked out of the business. She lost most of the money she thought was under her control.
A few days later, my phone rang with her name flashing on the screen.
“You need to convince Ben to help me,” she said in a polite tone. “I could lose everything, Molly. Please help me.”
“Sorry, Linda,” I replied, feeling lighter than air. “But like you said, we’re done with you.”
A woman using her phone | Source: Unsplash
In the following months, Ben and I built our life together, free from her manipulation.
And that coffin? We turned it into the centerpiece of our garden, filled with bright, blooming flowers. They reminded us that sometimes the best things grow from letting go of toxic ties.
Do you think I did the right thing by speaking up at my wedding? What would you have done if you were in my shoes?
If you enjoyed reading this story, here’s another one you might like: Lily and Mark sat in the darkened room, waiting, their faces lit only by the flicker of candles. Tonight wasn’t just Halloween. It was the night they’d finally reveal the truth, and each passing second brought Carla closer to the moment they’d prepared for.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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