I’ve been with my fiancé for six years, and we were supposed to get married next month. But during a visit to my parents, he discovered their secret lifestyle, causing him to question our relationship too.
I’ve been with my fiancé for six years, but we’ve known each other for nine. We were supposed to get married next month, but then everything changed the course of our wedding journey.
We went to visit my parents to introduce him to more of my extended family before the wedding. My parents offered to host us, and we’ve been staying in my old room for the sake of nostalgia.
My fiancé, Adam, wanted to stay at a hotel, but I thought it would be fun to just have him share my old room with me.
“I don’t see why staying in your childhood home is going to change anything,” Adam told me when we were packing for the trip.
“Because it’s going to be my last time with my parents under their roof before I become a married woman. It’s going to be a sentimental moment,” I replied.
“If it gets uncomfortable, I’m just going to check myself into a hotel,” he said casually.
Of course, I didn’t expect what would happen next.
We got to my parents’ home, and everyone was excited to see us. My mother and aunt had cooked up an elaborate meal for us, ready to just sit down at the table and get to know Adam better.
All through dinner, everything went as well as expected, and Adam happily enjoyed having the attention centered around him.
“This is new for me,” he said as we did the dishes in between the mains and dessert. “I’m not used to having people pay attention to me like this.”
“It’s a good thing,” I said, handing him a plate. “You’re supposed to feel welcome and at home with my family, too.”
As the night died down and we all went to bed, ready for a good night’s sleep before the following day’s family outing to the local theme park, Adam kept disturbing my sleep.
“What’s going on?” I asked, turning to face him.
“I just can’t sleep, Sasha,” he snapped. “It’s not my bed, and I’m not used to sleeping in beds that aren’t my own. And your bed is lumpy and uncomfortable.”
“Just go and take a walk outside,” I grumbled. “The fresh air should make a difference, and you’ll come back and fall asleep.”
“Fine,” he said, getting out of bed and leaving the room.
I was just about to fall asleep again when Adam’s scream pierced the air. I bolted upright in bed with my heart racing.
What on earth was going on? Was there someone in the house? Were we in danger?
While my brain was moving a mile a minute, trying to decide what to do next, Adam stormed back into the room.
“What happened?” I blurted out, uneasy.
My fiancé’s face contorted in a mix of horror and anger, and he paused for a minute before he started yelling.
“I cannot believe it,” he yelled. “Your mom! Sasha! Your mother! She’s kissing another man in the foyer!”
My heart sank. I had hoped that we would have gotten through this entire visit without this.
If anything, I had always dreaded this moment, the time when my parents’ unusual and unconventional marriage would come to light.
I tried to explain, to calm him down, but he wouldn’t have it.
“Call your dad, Sasha,” Adam demanded. “Tell him that your mom is cheating right here in your own home.”
It seemed logical, simple even. And I understood why Adam would think that having my father involved would solve everything.
But he couldn’t be further from the truth.
Before I could react and begin navigating the explanation, my mom walked in, still straightening her clothes.
“I can explain,” she started, but my fiancé cut her off.
“Explain? What’s there to explain? You’re cheating on your husband in his own home!”
“It’s not cheating, darling,” she said softly. “Sasha knows, and she’ll explain it all to you. Shaun and my marriage is different. Very different. It’s unconventional compared to your usual marriage. You need to understand that, Adam, before you judge us.”
Adam turned to me, eyes wide.
“You knew? You knew about this, and you didn’t tell me?”
I tried to reach out to him, but he recoiled.
“I didn’t know how to tell you, and I’m not proud of keeping this secret. But it wasn’t mine to tell.”
“Sasha!” he said, his hands in the air. “You should have told me! This isn’t something that you just keep hidden from the person that you’re going to marry. I don’t know if I can trust you now. This was a setup, wasn’t it? You wanted to introduce me to this lifestyle, isn’t it?”
By this point, I was overwhelmed, and I couldn’t understand what Adam was getting at.
I was taken back to a memory from my youth. I was 16, and my friends were planning a sleepover at my home.
“You have the biggest room, Sasha,” my friend Brielle said. “Let’s have it at your place.”
“That’s perfectly fine with me,” I said. “I don’t think my parents will mind at all! And we can watch movies in the living room because my parents have a TV in their room now, so they won’t disturb us.”
“I’ll bring my cotton candy machine,” Brielle said excitedly. “We can have that and popcorn!”
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I remember going home after school and telling my mother all about our plans. She smiled and nodded enthusiastically.
“Sure, honey,” she said. “You girls can take care of yourselves. Dad and I have a dinner that evening.”
Little did I know that later that evening, I would discover the truth about my parents’ marriage.
My friends and I were all sitting on the couch when my parents walked in with another couple. My mother was holding tightly onto a man’s hand as she kicked off her shoes. My father was kissing the other woman.
When they saw me, they were shocked. And they had no choice but to explain the situation to me.
“We are married to each other, and we love each other. We’re committed, honey. But we’re also allowed to see other people if we want to,” my mother explained gently. “There’s nothing wrong with the way we are. And you need to understand that.”
Now, listening to Adam, I was taken back to the same flood of emotions.
“No, it’s nothing like that,” I said. “I am dedicated to you. I don’t want that lifestyle.”
But Adam wasn’t having it. He just wasn’t listening. Instead, he began to speak about his mother’s infidelity which had led to his parents’ divorce. It all made him see betrayal everywhere.
“Everything is a red flag for me, Sasha.”
He packed a bag and left for a hotel, saying that he needed a moment to reevaluate our engagement.
I spent the rest of the night crying, feeling the weight of my parents’ choices crashing down on my own relationship.
“You need to talk to him,” my mother said, giving me a cup of coffee. “Just go to him.”
I joined him at the hotel. We barely spoke, the silence heavy with everything left unsaid. I didn’t know if Adam still wanted to be together or not. I suggested that we move to my grandmother’s house for the rest of our stay so that we could talk about everything while still being comfortable.
“Yeah,” he said. “That’s okay with me because this hotel is too cold anyway.”
There was a coldness between us that hadn’t been there before.
“I’ve never kept secrets from you,” I told him. “I didn’t know how to bring it up. It’s not something that I like talking about because I struggled to understand it myself.”
Adam sighed, rubbing his temples.
“I get it. But this feels too close to home, Sasha,” he said. “I just need some time.”
We spent the rest of the week at my grandmother’s house, trying to finish the family visit in the best spirits we could muster. My parents apologized to Adam, but it didn’t matter anymore.
It wasn’t about them. It was about the fact that their actions had triggered my fiancé. On the drive home, Adam and I decided that we wanted to stay together and see where life took us.
“But I think we need to go to therapy,” I said, handing Adam a drink.
“I think that’s a good idea,” he said, biting his lip. “Because I need to uncover my own trauma before accepting your parents.”
Now, Adam and I have started talking about everything. From his fears, my shame, our future. We could only heal from this.
What would you have done?
If you enjoyed this story, here’s another one for you.
My Entitled Parents Demanded That I Give Them My New House — My In-Laws Suddenly Stood up for Me
When Carina’s parents kick her out after high school, she has no choice but to navigate her way around life. Years later, after making a success of her life, and her wedding is around the corner, she reaches out to them, only for them to storm into her life, trying to take ownership of what she has worked so hard for.
My Wife Found Sweaters She Knitted for Our Grandkids at a Thrift Store – She Was So Heartbroken, I Had to Teach Them a Lesson
I just discovered that occasionally extreme tactics are necessary to get your message across to someone. Grounding my grandchildren for what they did to my wife wasn’t going to be a sufficient lesson in this case. I set them a challenging task to ensure their redemption. I, Clarence (74), have always thought my wife Jenny (73), is the loveliest and most kindhearted person. This was particularly true with regard to our grandchildren. She knits them exquisitely detailed sweaters every year for their birthdays and Christmas. She puts all of her heart into this tradition. She would frequently begin new initiatives more earlier than necessary.
This was done to guarantee that every child received a unique item created particularly for them. She would make the kids stuffed animals for their birthdays. Maybe a blanket for the grandchildren who are older. We just had a trip and decided to stop by our neighborhood thrift store last week. For our landscaping project, we were trying to find some old-fashioned pots. What was supposed to be a relaxing trip became an unforgettable, heartbreaking experience!Something I wish we could take back from our shared history. My wife stopped as we were browsing the aisles. Her gaze fixed on something, causing her to momentarily stop. “What the heck is that? She questioned, gesturing with a quivering finger, “Am I seeing things? The sweaters she had crocheted for our grandchildren were hanging there among a gazillion other trashed stuff! All of them were for sale! Among them, there was a blue-and-grey-striped one that was definitely the one Jenny made for our oldest grandchild last Christmas.
\It was clear from the expression on her face. She stretched out and caressed the fabric softly, and her heart broke. She tried to hide her pain with a grin and a repression of tears. Her voice was barely audible as she said, “It’s okay, I understand that kids might be embarrassed to wear grandma’s sweaters.” I could hardly contain my emotions as I drew her closer for an embrace, realizing how hurt she was. No, this wasn’t acceptable, and unfortunately for our family, my wife was more understanding than I was. They committed a heartless, destructive, and blatantly cruel act! Even though she maintained her composure, I couldn’t help but feel furious! Once I was sure she was asleep, I went back to the thrift store that evening and bought back everything she had made! I had made up my mind to put this right. I made the decision to impart a significant life lesson to our grandchildren without even speaking to my wife! One that would instill in them the value of showing gratitude for future blessings. I made a package for each grandchild the following day. I put wool, knitting needles, and a basic set of knitting instructions inside each. I added a picture of the sweater they had thrown away along with a severe note that said, “I know what you did.” You had better start knitting your own gifts now!”Grandma and I are coming for dinner, and you better be wearing her presents,” I said in my note. Alternatively, I’ll notify your parents and you won’t receive any further gifts for birthdays or Christmas. As one could guess, there was a wide range of reactions! A few of the grandchildren apologized sheepishly over the phone. They acknowledged that they were unaware of the significance of these gifts. Some remained mute, maybe feeling awkward or not knowing what to say. But the point had been made. When dinnertime finally arrived, there was a palpable sense of excitement. Our grandkids arrived one by one. All of them wearing the sweaters that nobody thought were worthy. To be very honest, some of the art they produced was absurdly poor! The one short design and one long hand made me chuckle uncontrollably! Some sweaters were obviously dropped mid-project, while others were simply too large! Not a single reproduction could have done MY Jenny’s original work justice. When sincere regret was expressed through their apologies, the tension subsided. Our oldest grandchild stated to their parents, “We are so sorry for taking your gifts for granted, Grandma,” while their parents watched. “We swear never to give away anything you’ve lovingly made for us ever again.” They made an attempt at knitting. They became aware of the passion and work that went into every stitch as a result. “Our oldest grandchild admitted that this was harder than he had anticipated, Grandpa.”
He continued tugging at the sleeves of his hurriedly constructed attempt as he spoke. Another person said, “Yeah, I’m sorry, Grandma,” with wide eyes. “It took me hours to finish one section of a scarf!” Bless her heart, my wife pardoned them, giving each one her customary warmth and compassion. “I’m amazed you got them to do this much!” Jenny loved our grandchildren and turned to face me. I needed to take action, my darling. I couldn’t allow them to believe that your gifts were just throwaway objects. I knew I had made the right decision when we embraced and she opened her warm heart to me. The laughter increased and the mood lightened as we ate dinner. This difficult lesson bonded everyone. It served as a helpful reminder of the importance of recognizing and appreciating one another’s work. Ultimately, our grandchildren gained knowledge about love, respect, and the elegance of a handcrafted gift in addition to learning how to knit a basic stitch. My wife felt better when she saw that her efforts were eventually recognized. I discovered how much of an impact she had on bringing our family together. The grandchildren added one more thing as we were wrapping up our dinner: “We promise to cherish our handmade gifts forever.” A promise that brought my wife more warmth than any sweater could have! I said to them, “I have one last surprise for you all,” before I left. I ran to the car and returned with a bunch of big plastic bags. “Open them,” I told our grandchildren. When they discovered every sweater Jenny had given them, they were all beaming with happiness. When they transitioned from their awful attempts at knitting to the flawless sculptures my wife had made them, they were like completely different persons. “Grandma and grandpa, thank you so much!” they exclaimed as they gave us a warm hug before we left. The spouse of a woman in the following tale was in need of some important life lessons. Before she put her foot down, he had developed the poor habit of making purchases—big and small—without getting her approval.
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