Lara dreaded family gatherings because her sister Emily always mocked her single life. Determined to survive her father’s birthday dinner, Lara hired Jake, a charming and understanding fake boyfriend. Jake played along with their fabricated relationship story, impressing Lara’s family with his grace and humor at dinner. During dessert, Jake surprised everyone with a heartfelt toast to Lara, revealing his true feelings:“I’d like to propose a toast,” Jake said, his eyes meeting Lara’s. “Firstly, to the man of the evening, happy birthday, sir! May this new chapter bring you all the joy you deserve.”“But I’d also like to toast to the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. Lara, you’re intelligent, kind, and you have the most infectious laugh. I can’t stop admiring you, and I haven’t since the moment we met.”Touched, Lara confessed her gratitude to Jake, who then revealed his feelings were genuine. They decided to pursue a real relationship. Months later, they remained together, keeping their origin story secret from the family to avoid Emily’s ridicule.“Lara dreaded family gatherings because her sister Emily always mocked her single life.”“Determined to survive her father’s birthday dinner, Lara hired Jake, a charming and understanding fake boyfriend.”At dinner, Jake impressed Lara’s family with his grace and humor.”“During dessert, Jake surprised everyone with a heartfelt toast to Lara, revealing his true feelings.”“Touched, Lara and Jake decided to pursue a real relationship, keeping their origin story secret from the family to avoid Emily’s ridicule.”
Sо I аm аt Wаlmаrt sсаnning аnd bаgging my аlmоst $300
So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the employee that wants $15 an hour “monitors” and then this happened.
Her – why are you double bagging all of your groceries?
Me – excuse me?
Her – you are wasting our bags!
Me – if you don’t likе the way I’m bagging the groceries, feel free to come on over here and bag them yourself.
Her – that’s not my job!
Me – okay, then I will bag my groceries how I please if that’s all right with you.
Her – why are you using two bags?!
Me – because the bags are weak and I don’t want the handles to break or the bottoms to rip out.
Her – well that’s because you are putting too much stuff in the bag. If you took half of that stuff out and put it in a different bag then you wouldn’t need to double bag.
*10 seconds of me just staring at her.
Me – so you want me to split these items in half and put half of them in a different bag so that I don’t have to double bag.
Her – exactly.
Me – so I would still be using two bags to hold the same number of items.
Her – no because you wouldn’t be double bagging.
*me pressing two fingers to my left eye in an attempt to make it stop twitching.
Me – okay so here I have a jug of milk and a bottle of juice double bagged. If I take the milk out and remove the double bagging and just put the milk in the single bag and the juice in that single bag I’m still using two bags for these two items.
Her- no because you are not double bagging them so it’s not the same number of bags.
*me looking around at about 10 other customers who at this point are enjoying the show.
Me- is this likе that Common Core math stuff I keep hearing about?
Her- never mind you just don’t get it.
And with that, she went back to her little Podium so she could continue texting or playing games on her phone or whatever it was she was doing before she decided to come over and critique my bagging skiIIs.
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