In blended families, it’s common for parents to have differing views on how to handle their children. Colleen’s husband continues to provide financial support to his 19-year-old daughter, who is pregnant and already a mother of two. Meanwhile, Colleen feels that her stepdaughter should not be coddled and needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions. This clash in parenting styles led to a situation that went terribly wrong, and Colleen has shared her story with us.
Here is Colleen’s letter:
Hi Colleen! Thank you for sharing your story with us. We’ve prepared 4 pieces of advice that we believe can help you.
Seek mediation or couples counseling.
Given the emotional and financial conflicts, involving a neutral third party could help. A mediator or counselor can facilitate a discussion between you and your husband to address the underlying issues.
This professional might help clarify each other’s perspectives, restore communication, and find a resolution that acknowledges both your concerns and your husband’s responsibilities.
Reevaluate financial decisions and transparency.
Consider discussing the financial decisions and future planning openly with your husband. Since you drained the shared savings account without his consent, it’s crucial to establish a clear, mutually agreed-upon approach to handling finances moving forward.
This might involve setting up separate accounts for personal expenditures and jointly managed accounts for shared expenses, ensuring that both parties are informed and agree on financial decisions.
Engage in a direct conversation with your stepdaughter.
It may be beneficial to address the situation directly with your stepdaughter. An honest conversation about her expectations and how her actions have impacted your relationship with her father could help clear misunderstandings.
Express your intentions and concerns, and listen to her perspective to potentially reach a better understanding and find common ground.
Consider moving out temporarily for reflection.
If the tension remains high and communication isn’t improving, temporarily moving out might provide space for both you and your husband to reflect on the situation. This physical distance could give you time to think about your relationship and future steps without the constant emotional strain.
Use this time to assess what you both need and whether there’s a path forward that respects both your needs and your husband’s.
Another stepmom dealing with tension is Claudia. When her 32-year-old stepdaughter lost her job and decided to move back in with her father, Claudia insisted that she pay rent. This decision led to an unexpected turn of events, and she reached out to us for advice. Read her story here.
Dad was left unrecognizable after losing his lips and four limbs to flesh-eating bacteria – This is what he looks like today
The life story of Alex Lewis is like no other. This man refused to give up on his life no matter what it took, and today, he’s thriving with the help of his loving wife Lucy Townsend, and their son.
Alex and Lucy always knew they were meant for each other. When they married and welcomed their son Sam into their life, they felt like the happiest couple on Earth. But then in 2013, around the time Sam turned two, this family’s life took a different turn.
Both Alex and Sam caught the flu, or at least they believed so. However, as the boy got better in a short period of time, Alex wasn’t feeling fine even days after he experienced the flu-like symptoms.
“Because we owned and lived in a pub and came into contact with lots of different people, I assumed it was a seasonal cold and thought it started off as man flu,” Alex told Metro.
Instead of improving, his condition worsened and he became feverish and noticed blood in his urine.
As he could feel something was very wrong, he went to the hospital where doctors told him he contracted a streptococcal infection (type A). Unfortunately, at that point, the infection penetrated deep into the tissue and the organs and caused sepsis. Alex had contracted shock syndrome, septicemia, and necrotizing fascitis – and his body was attacking itself from the inside out.
“I called an ambulance, and within eight minutes, they were there. At the hospital, we went straight into resuscitation, and I was told to say goodbye. His kidneys were shutting down, and they were going to put him on life support,” his wife Lucy told The Guardian.
Doctors’ prognoses were dull. They told the family there was just a three percent chance that Alex would survive as his face and body turned black.
“They were going to turn my life support off, but they wanted to give me one more night to see if I improved, and they wanted to give my family a chance to say goodbye,” Alex told Metro.
“I cannot imagine what Lucy and my mum were going through.
“Having spoken to them since it happened, I think they were more in shock as they couldn’t believe something so incredibly invasive was happening so quickly,” he added.
“I don’t remember being in excruciating pain at this point, but my family remembers seeing me in absolute agony.”
It was determined that a flesh-eating bacteria was poisoning his body so doctors had to amputate his left arm up to the elbow. Sadly, as months passed by, Alex lost all of his limbs, and doctors were also forced to cut parts of his face in order to save his life.
“I can remember seeing my legs in hospital and how they were getting blacker and blacker,” Alex told The Guardian. “The blackness was creeping up towards my waist. I don’t remember seeing my left arm in that condition, but I can remember my legs vividly.”
As Alex lost his lips, plastic surgeon Alexandra Crick took skin from his shoulder in an attempt to fix his mouth.
“It would take me about an hour to eat a sandwich at night, and that was with the help of the nurse,” he told the Daily Mail.
“The last available skin for surgery was on my shoulder,” he explained. “So they replaced the temporary flap with that. All my other skin had to be used for grafts or was scarred.”
“Having my bottom and top lip done at the same time like this was a world first. It’s one piece of skin, and it was like if you imagine placing a bag in your mouth and then sewing around the edges. After the original operation, I had to have them every three or four months.”
Looking at his father, and how different he was, Sam was afraid to approach closer to him, but Lucy found a way to explain to him why his dad looked like that, which wasn’t easy as Sam was just two years old at the time.
After spending months at the hospital Alex could finally go home. The good thing was that doctors managed to save the elbow of his right arm which allowed him to have a prosthetic and be able to use his arm. Eventually, he could speak again as his lip surgery was a huge success.
“That one elbow is his whole independence,” Lucy said.
“I had to relearn everything,” Alex added. “From learning to eat, drink, put my clothes on, to learn to use a prosthesis, and to self propel a manual wheelchair.”
Today, Alex is involved in a number of tech projects which help ease the lives of disabled people. Among the rest, he has tested solar-powered, battery-assisted four-wheeled handles which have been designed by masters students at Southampton University.
Despite his condition, he’s living a quality life and is doing a lot of things, such as kayaking and climbing. In 2019, he climbed one of Africa’s tallest mountains using a specially adapted buggy.
“Since becoming an amputee, I’ve been fortunate enough to try out a number of training methods to keep my fitness up, working with physios and visiting the Help for Heroes training facilities,” he shared with Sports Management.
“I’ve had first-rate guidance, but nothing has been as effective as EMS training, especially in such a short space of time.
“It’s amazing how the machine helps me to engage muscles I haven’t felt since I lost my arms and legs,” he added.
“I feel stronger in training, daily life tasks are easier, and I’ve gained greater confidence that I can take on these challenges.”
His Wild Wheelchairs Project, besides helping improve the lives of disabled people, raises money to finance the construction and operation of a wheelchair manufacturing facility in Ethiopia.
Alex is also a motivational speaker who is happy with his life.
“I’ve lived more of a life in the past four years than I did in the previous 33, and it’s made me realize how much I love Lucy and Sam,” he told Metro.
“There was so much I regretted not doing when I had arms and legs, but I am not letting that happen again. I would not change anything, not in a heartbeat.”
Sam also learned to love his dad for who he is and is proud of him.
We truly admire this brave man’s resilience. His story is proof that no matter the curveballs life throws at us, we should always do our best to end up winners.
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