It’s uplifting to witness women supporting each other, whether it’s friends offering help or strangers extending support to those they’ve never met. In this story, a woman quietly left a letter for her ex-boyfriend’s future girlfriend, offering a heads-up about what to anticipate and sharing lessons from her own experience. The new girlfriend shared this moving act of solidarity on Reddit, where she received an outpouring of encouragement and advice from the online community.
She wrote:
“My boyfriend Steve (30m) and I (28f) have been together for 2 years and have been living together for 8 months. I was cleaning our apartment when I found a note in the back of a cabinet that read:
‘Dear Steve’s Future Girlfriend,
I know it’s you reading this because he’d never clean back here. I’m putting this here because I’m leaving him soon and want to warn you about him:
1-He will not clean;
2-He will not listen;
3-He will make everything feel like it’s your fault;
It’s not your fault, he’s just an incompetent man. I’m leaving him, I suggest you do the same.
Best wishes, Natalia'”
She added:
“I read the note and brought it to show to him and hear his response. He immediately ripped it up and said not to listen to it, that she was crazy and untrustworthy. I told him that the fact that he hasn’t found the note in the 5 years since they broke up is a red flag to me because it does mean he’s never cleaned back there and that he has been cleaning less and less since I moved in.
He told me this is just his ex continuing to manipulate and ruin his life, and I was letting it work. We continued to argue along the same lines, and I eventually left to spend the night at a friend’s place.
Steve has been a great boyfriend so far. He gets along with my family. He has given me gifts and flowers and always tells me how much he loves me. He’s not wrong that the cleaning hasn’t really been brought up before, but the note made me realize it had been less and less and that we needed to have a full conversation about this.”
She went on explaining:
“He texted me afterwards saying he’s sorry that I felt like I had to leave, but that it’s a wrong move for me to take a note over our 2-year relationship and to leave him and our pets alone. I don’t know what to do or what to believe right now. I’m contemplating trying to find and reach out to Natalia.
Steve thinks I should come back home and let it go, that his past should not affect our future. He makes it sound like his ex was manipulative and petty throughout their relationship, but I don’t know what to trust.
When we moved in together 8 months ago, the cleaning was 50/50. Since then, he’s been doing things less and less. I have to remind him to do things like to bring his plates to the sink or take out the trash, and I didn’t have to before. The dishes will pile up unless I do them, to the point he’s had leftover food mold on the plates.”
She continued:
“I’m not a confrontational person, so I was just asking him to fix it when it came up. The note made me reflect on it more and try to have an actual full conversation, and I will say I didn’t feel listened to when I talked to him about it.
I tried to use the note to start a conversation about cleaning, and he got so stuck on the fact that I was listening to his ex instead of him, that he wouldn’t listen to what I think are valid concerns. He thinks I’m letting the note have “confirmation bias” so no matter what he says I’ll think he’s in the wrong.
Also, I didn’t leave him permanently, this all happened yesterday and I only spent one night at a friend’s because I didn’t feel like our conversation was going anywhere last night, and he wouldn’t let me sleep until I let it go. I’m going back today and wanted to get advice and feedback before I do.”
Other Redditors chimed in, sharing their own insights and offering advice to her.
- I’m so glad for you. It wasn’t two wasted years since they taught you a valuable lesson. I’m especially grateful for Natalia! Please tell her we love her for her kind solidarity and witty ways. Absolutely, leave a note — but better yet, leave two. One in the same place (he’ll look there; manipulative narcissists aren’t that dumb), and another in an even less likely spot. Sending you my best. You got this, girl! © occasionalpart / Reddit
- Well, he’s not cleaning, he’s not listening to you, and he’s making it out to be your fault “for trusting a note over him.” So, it seems the ex’s assessment might be accurate. It doesn’t look like he’s open to discussing his poor housekeeping, and personally, I don’t think you’ll be able to address it now without the note coming up. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether this is something you can tolerate. It seems he hasn’t learned anything from his last relationship. © VonBoo / Reddit
- You’ve been living together for less than a year, and you’re already having to play mommy, reminding him of basic chores and daily tasks! If Natalia were truly such a manipulative, crazy person, she would have made much harsher and more dramatic accusations than these. © Arya_kidding_me / Reddit
- It’s almost ironic how easy it would have been for him to shut this entire thing down with the simplest of responses: “Hmm, you’re right, I’ll make sure to clean more.” That would have immediately countered points 2 and 3. But he’d rather be right, and he’d rather play the aggrieved party. You didn’t do anything wrong by trying to have a conversation off the back of that note. His reaction should tell you everything. © Mobius_Stripping / Reddit
- I’d be willing to bet money that the note is right. He sounds like the kind of man who will stop doing anything the second he decides a woman is fully trapped. The slow tapering off you’re witnessing is him testing the waters. He needs to figure out whether he just needs to waste enough of your time to get to that stage, or whether you need a ring or a baby to feel trapped. © Extension_Drummer_85 / Reddit
- “Don’t expect to change a man unless he’s in diapers.” This behavior will continue on, he’s gotten away with it before up to a certain point. He wants someone to pick up after him like his mommy.
Any time a guy says, “My ex is/was crazy,” is a MASSIVE red flag right there. It’s something guys have been saying since the dawn of time to belittle their former partners. He’ll say the same thing about you to his next girlfriend. You have to ask yourself, “Was she crazy, or did he drive her crazy with his behavior and laziness?” I’d leave your own note when you do finally dump him. And reach out to his ex, see what she has to say. © Equal-Brilliant2640 / Reddit
When trust is broken between couples, it often leads to a surge of emotional and psychological turmoil, including feelings of uncertainty and profound confusion. In a different scenario, a woman shared a fascinating story of her own sleuthing skills. She discovered her husband was cheating simply by paying close attention to his breakfast order.
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My Girlfriend Received a Rose Bouquet Delivery, but It Was Not from Me – The Truth behind It Turned My Life Upside Down – LoveAnimals
My world flipped upside down when my longtime girlfriend received a present that had me believing she was cheating. Looking back now, I jumped to the conclusion of infidelity because of my past trauma. In the end, my girlfriend’s gift set me on a journey of healing.
What I thought was a normal day turned into something quite unexpected. At one point, I thought my relationship with my girlfriend was over. Let me introduce myself, my name is Garry, 30, and I have been dating my partner for four wonderful years.
I truly believed our relationship was over when on a typical Thursday afternoon at the office my phone buzzed with a text from my girlfriend, Emily. I glanced at the phone, expecting a quick chat about dinner plans, but the text was filled with excitement.
Confused, I opened the message and was left in shock when I read it! “Thank you for the flowers, sweetheart! They’re so beautiful and thoughtful,” she wrote. Attached was the picture – her and a huge bouquet of red roses.
I froze. “Flowers? I hadn’t sent any flowers,” I thought to myself as my mind started racing, but I managed to keep it calm. “I’m glad you loved them,” I wrote back, trying to mask my confusion. “I’ll see you at home tonight.”
Needless to say, the rest of my workday was a mess! I was FLOODED with suspicion. “Who had sent Emily those flowers?” I wondered to myself. I couldn’t shake the gnawing thought that she might be seeing someone else.
But I decided not to confront her over the phone. I needed to see those flowers and find out more. The workday dragged on painfully slow. My imagination ran wild with scenarios, each more distressing than the last! By the time I finally left the office and got home, I was a bundle of nerves!
When I walked through the door of our apartment, the first thing I saw was the bouquet of red roses on the dining table. They were stunning, arranged perfectly in a crystal vase. Emily greeted me with a kiss and a smile, but I was too distracted to fully respond.
I walked over to the flowers, pretending to admire them. “They really are beautiful,” I said, looking closely at the bouquet, my heart pounding. Then, I saw the note sticking out tucked between the flowers. My hands were shaking as I reached for it, expecting the truth about Emily’s cheating to come out.
I pulled it out and read the words that made my blood run cold and a chill run down my spine. The note read: “Your mother died. These were her favorite flowers. If you can, please come to the funeral.”
I felt the room spin, and I gripped the table to steady myself. Emily noticed my reaction and her face filled with concern. “Are you okay?” I shook my head, barely able to process the information. “These flowers…they’re from my mother’s husband. She’s…she’s dead.”
Emily looked shocked. “I didn’t know you were in touch with her,” she asked softly, coming over to embrace me. “I wasn’t,” I said, my voice hollow. “I haven’t spoken to her in years. She left my father and me for another man when I was a kid.”
Continuing my tale, I added, “She didn’t want children, so she abandoned me.” I could see how torn up Emily was to hear how I’d suffered growing up. I hadn’t been willing to share my whole background with her until now. Luckily, she was as supportive as ever.
The next few days were a blur of emotions. I couldn’t decide if I should go to the funeral. Part of me wanted to ignore the message, to pretend it had never arrived. But another part of me felt a pull, a need to find closure.
Emily was there for me through it all, though clearly confused by the sudden upheaval in my life. “Whatever you decide, I’ll be here for you,” she vowed. The day before the funeral, I received a phone call that changed everything. It was my father.
He surprised me by saying, “I’m going to the funeral,” his voice strained but resolute. I was stunned. “Dad, after everything she did to you, to us?” He sighed. “I’ve had years to think about it, and I’ve realized that holding on to all that anger has only hurt me more,” adding:
“I need to let it go, for my own sake. And I think you need to do the same.”
We drove to the funeral together, the car ride filled with an uneasy silence. When we arrived, I saw faces I didn’t recognize, people who had become part of my mother’s new life. I felt like an outsider, but having my father there made it bearable.
The service was somber. As I looked at the casket, I realized how much time had been wasted in anger and resentment. My mother had made her choices, and they had hurt me deeply, but she was still my parent.
After the service, I approached my mother’s new husband. He looked tired and grief-stricken. “I’m sorry for your loss,” I said as I placed a hand on his shoulder, and I meant it. He nodded gratefully, tears in his eyes.
Then he told me something I didn’t know I needed to hear. “She spoke of you often, you know. She regretted leaving you.” Between trying to hold back tears, he shared, “She always hoped you might forgive her someday.”
I thanked him for sharing that information with me before walking away. The ride home was quiet but less tense. My father and I had both faced our past and while it didn’t erase the pain, it felt like a step towards healing.
My sweet Emily was waiting for us when we returned. Her presence was a comforting reminder of the love and stability I had now. “I’m proud of you,” she said, hugging me tightly. As I held her, I made a deep realization.
It dawned on me that while the flowers had brought back painful memories, they had also given me a chance to confront and let go of the past. My life had turned upside down, but in a way that allowed me to start anew. This time with a heart a little lighter and a future a little brighter.
Weeks later, Emily and I were having dinner when she looked at me thoughtfully. “What are you thinking about?” she asked. “I’ve been thinking about my mother,” I admitted. “I never expected to feel this way, but her death has made me realize how important it is to let go of the past.”
Emily reached across the table and took my hand. “I’m here for you, whatever you need.” I squeezed her hand, grateful for her support. “I know. Thank you for being here through all this.” That night, as we sat together, I thought about the journey ahead.
There would be more difficult moments and more painful memories to confront, but I wasn’t alone. I had Emily, my father, and a renewed sense of hope. My life had changed, but had also been set on a new, promising path.
A few months later, I received another unexpected message. This time, it was from one of my mother’s old friends. She wanted to meet and share some memories of my mother. I hesitated, but Emily encouraged me to go.
When I met with her, she handed me a box filled with letters and photos. “Your mother kept these all these years,” she said. “She always hoped you would read them someday.” As I read through the letters, I felt a mix of emotions.
There were apologies, explanations, and expressions of love. It was overwhelming, but it also brought a sense of closure. Returning home that evening, I shared the letters with Emily. “It’s strange,” I said, “but I feel like I understand her a little better now.”
Emily hugged me. “That’s important. Healing takes time, but you’re doing it.” Looking back, I realized that the bouquet of roses had been the catalyst for a journey I never expected to take.
It had brought back painful memories but had also opened the door to healing and forgiveness. Being brought back into my mother’s life even though it was in her death had also set me on a new, hopeful path. I was even finally ready to propose to Emily!
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