A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
LAURA DERN REVEALS SHOCKING STORY: HOW HER FIANCÉ DITCHED HER FOR ANGELINA JOLIE
In 1999, the unexpected marriage of Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie made headlines and surprised many people.
The couple had a notable 20-year age difference and were both involved with other partners at the time, which added to the excitement.
One person who was shocked was actress Laura Dern, who was engaged to Billy Bob. Laura found out about Billy Bob’s marriage to Angelina at the same time as everyone else, which upset her plans.
Billy Bob and Laura started dating in 1997, right after Laura split from Jeff Goldblum and Billy Bob was still going through a divorce from his fourth wife, Pietra Dawn Cherniak. After two years together, they were engaged and planning their wedding when Billy Bob met Angelina on the set of “Pushing Tin” in 1999.
Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie’s quickie wedding in Las Vegas in May 2000 took many by surprise, including Laura Dern. Laura was caught off guard and shared her feelings in an interview with InStyle: “I left our home to work on a movie, and while I was away, my boyfriend got married, and I’ve never heard from him again.” She felt a sudden sense of loss and confusion with no closure.
Billy Bob never admitted to any wrongdoing but did express regret in a 2001 interview, saying: “Others may say that you left our girl and married someone else. But it made me and somebody else happy. I’m sorry it caused pain.”
In a strange twist, Laura and Angelina had a past connection; Laura had babysat Angelina when they were children, according to Yahoo.
Laura Dern’s father, Bruce Dern, recalled a time when Laura babysat Angelina Jolie. He explained that since he and Jon Voight were working on the movie “Coming Home” in 1978, Laura, who was about 8 years old at the time, watched 2-year-old Angelina at director Hal Ashby’s house.
After Laura and Billy Bob broke up, Laura received support from her friend Melissa Etheridge. Melissa shared on Andy Cohen’s SiriusXM radio show that she helped Laura move out of her home with Billy Bob, even having to break into their house to retrieve Laura’s belongings. Melissa added that she had witnessed some of the difficulties Laura faced due to Billy Bob’s relationship with Angelina.
Following these events, Laura moved on with her life. She married Ben Harper and has two children with him, and has also been linked to former NBA player Baron Davis.
Billy Bob and Angelina divorced in 2002. Billy Bob decided to avoid dating celebrities after this, seeking a quieter life. He later married a puppeteer in 2014, aiming for more privacy.
What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your comments below!
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