Every grandmother loves spending quality time with their grandkids during the holidays. But when my six-year-old granddaughter started calling me names, I put a plan in motion that helped me discover that not everyone in your life will appreciate you.
Every holiday, I look forward to having Brittany, my six-year-old granddaughter, stay with me for the winter break. I was excited about our usual traditions: baking cookies, watching movies, and spoiling her with gifts. But last year changed everything.
Chocolate chip cookies baking on a pan on the stove counter at Christmas | Source: Midjourney
The week before her arrival, I transformed my house into a winter wonderland. Also, my kitchen counters disappeared under bags of flour, sugar, and chocolate chips for her favorite Christmas cookies. I really went all out to make it special for her.
Anyway, when I pulled up to my son, Todd, and his wife Rachel’s house to pick her up, Brittany burst through the front door with her PAW Patrol backpack bouncing behind her. Her pink winter coat was only half-zipped, and one of her boots was untied.
Little blonde girl running through the front yard holding a Paw Patrol backpack | Source: Midjourney
“Nanny!” she squealed, launching herself into my arms. Her hair smelled like strawberry shampoo, and she squeezed my neck so tight I could barely breathe. “Did you get the special hot chocolate? The one with the little marshmallows?”
“Of course, I did, sweetheart. And maybe some other surprises too.” I winked at her while fixing her coat and boot.
Rachel appeared in the doorway, phone in hand. “Her pajamas are in the front pocket,” she said without looking up. “And try not to give her too much sugar this time. Last visit, she was bouncing off the walls for days after.”
I gave Rachel a reassuring smile and ushered Brittany to my car.
Elegant woman in her 60s smiling in her front yard | Source: Midjourney
That first night, Brittany refused to sleep in the guest room. “Please, Nanny? I want to see the Christmas tree lights!” She looked up at me with those big brown eyes, clutching her favorite stuffed dog. “Chase wants to see them too!”
I wasn’t sure about a child sleeping in the living room, but I figured one time wouldn’t hurt. So, I helped her make a nest of blankets on the couch, right where she could see the tree.
While I cooked dinner, she sprawled out with her coloring books, humming along to the Christmas music playing softly in the background.
Little blonde girl coloring on a kitchen island | Source: Midjourney
“Hey, old lady,” she called out suddenly, giggling. “Can I have some juice?”
I nearly dropped the spatula. “What did you say, honey?”
“Old lady!” she repeated, giggling harder. “Can I have apple juice?”
I gave her the juice and brushed off her words… at first. I knew kids picked up all sorts of things at school.
But over the next few days, things got worse. The playful “old lady” turned into “wrinkly hag” and other names that made my stomach twist.
Elegant woman in her 60s looking worried in her living room | Source: Midjourney
These weren’t things children should say, but Brittany never said them maliciously. I think she thought they were just nicknames, but I had to find out for sure.
One afternoon, while Brittany was coloring again, I pulled up a chair beside her. “Brit, honey, where did you learn to call me ‘old lady’ and ‘ha-hag’?” I stuttered. “Was it at kindergarten? Did you hear the other kids say them to others?”
Without missing a beat, she shook her head. “That’s what Mom and Dad say about you all the time when you call!”
A little blonde girl coloring with an elegant woman in her 60s sitting beside her looking worried | Source: Midjourney
My heart stopped.
Todd and Rachel? My own son and daughter-in-law were speaking about me like this? To their six-year-old? That wasn’t fair, especially after everything I’d done for them over the years.
My late husband and I had helped them buy their home, and I’d later chipped in with their mortgage payments. Also, I’d often rearranged my schedule to watch Brittany when their babysitter canceled.
I’d even paid for their family vacation to Disney World last summer. My eyes watered, remembering Rachel’s tight smile when I handed her the check. “You really don’t have to do this,” she’d said, but she took it anyway.
Woman in her 30s with a tight face holding a check in her living room | Source: Midjourney
Had she been resenting my help all along?
That night, I came up with a plan, but I knew I had to wait until my granddaughter’s vacation was over
The next day, I gently explained to Brittany that calling me those names wasn’t nice, and to her credit, she stopped. We spent the rest of her winter break enjoying our usual activities.
We baked enough cookies to feed an army, watched every Christmas movie in my collection twice, and stayed up until 10 p.m. on New Year’s Eve drinking hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.
A woman in her 60s sitting on a couch with her little granddaughter watching movies | Source: Midjourney
A few days after New Year’s, it was time to take Brittany back to Todd’s. While she was in the bathroom, I hesitated, then slipped a small voice recorder into her PAW Patrol backpack.
When I dropped her off, Rachel barely looked up from her phone. That was fine with me; I wasn’t sure I could hide my feelings.
I focused on my girl instead, hugging her extra tightly. “Love you, sweetheart,” I whispered.
“Love you too, Nanny,” she replied, skipping inside with her backpack.
Blonde little girl running to the front door of a house | Source: Midjourney
I went home and waited. I knew the recorder wouldn’t last more than a day, but I didn’t want to seem overeager. I waited almost two weeks before I finally called Rachel.
My hands shook as I dialed. “I was thinking Brittany might like to spend the weekend,” I said, keeping my voice light. “It’s been so quiet without her.”
“Oh, sure,” Rachel replied with a sigh. “That would be… helpful. We were thinking of having some people over anyway.”
Woman in her 30s holding a phone and looking inconvenienced | Source: Midjourney
That Friday, when Brittany arrived, I waited until she was engrossed in her new PAW Patrol episode before retrieving the recorder from her backpack. My fingers trembled as I plugged it into my computer.
At first, there was mostly crackling or incomprehensible noise. But then Rachel’s voice came through loud and clear, and soon, Todd joined the conversation.
They talked about nothing important for what felt like an eternity. And then, I heard it.
“She’s so exhausting,” Rachel said. “Always calling, always trying to help. Like we can’t raise our own child? Did you see how many toys she bought this time? She’s trying to buy Brittany’s love.”
Woman in her 60s walking through the mall holding bags of toys | Source: Midjourney
“I know, but she’s my mom,” Todd said weakly. “She means well.”
“Well, I’m sick of it,” Rachel added. “I bet she has Easter already planned for us and this summer’s vacation. I thought telling Brittany to call her names would get her to back off, but I bet she’ll be calling to babysit soon.”
“I’m tired of her meddling too,” my son chimed in. “Maybe, we should start putting some boundaries. Let’s plan something for this summer for ourselves.”
A blonde man in his 30s looking worried while talking to a woman at the kitchen table | Source: Midjourney
That was more than enough. I slammed the laptop shut and breathed intently through my nose.
I had all the confirmation I needed. They had intentionally set up my granddaughter to call me names. They also thought I was too intrusive in their lives.
Fine. If they wanted boundaries, I’d give them boundaries. They wanted me to mind my own business? I’d do just that.
That Sunday, I invited them for dinner. I made Todd’s favorite lasagna and even bought Rachel’s preferred wine. Brittany ate too much and fell asleep on the couch afterward. I thought that was a good time to face my son and daughter-in-law.
Little blonde girl sleeping on a couch | Source: Midjourney
“I have something you need to hear,” I said, setting my laptop on the dining table and pressing play.
Their faces went pale as their own voices filled the room. Rachel’s wine glass froze halfway to her mouth.
“Mom, I can explain,” Todd stammered but wouldn’t meet my gaze.
I held up my hand. “No excuses,” I said. “I’ve spent years supporting you both, loving you, being there whenever you needed me. And this is what you do? Teach my granddaughter to disrespect me?”
Elegant woman in her 60s sitting on a kitchen table with one hand up looking serious and upset | Source: Midjourney
I pulled out a bag of new toys I’d bought for Brittany. “These are for her. Because no matter what you think of me, I will always love that little girl. But things need to change. If you don’t appreciate my help or generosity, then I’m done.”
Rachel sat there, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Todd slumped in his chair, looking like the little boy who used to crawl into my bed during thunderstorms.
A man and woman in their 30s looking surprised and sad sitting at the kitchen table | Source: Midjourney
“These are the boundaries you wanted: no more financial help and no more babysitting unless I want to,” I sighed, crossing my arms. They still couldn’t say a word, and honestly, I didn’t want to hear anything from them. “I think it’s time you take Brittany home. Don’t call me unless it’s an emergency.”
Slowly, they stood and left quietly, carrying their sleeping daughter and the bag of toys. I locked the door behind them and sank onto my couch, exhausted but somehow lighter.
Elegant woman in her 60s sitting on a couch looking relaxed but pensive | Source: Midjourney
A while later, I made myself a cup of tea and turned on my favorite show. The house felt too quiet without Brittany’s giggles and running footsteps.
Sometimes standing up for yourself hurts, but it’s better than letting people walk all over you. I just hoped that one day, my family would understand that my love didn’t mean they could take me for granted, or that they could teach my precious granddaughter to hurt me.
Elegant woman in her 60s sitting on a couch drinking tea looking relaxed but pensive | Source: Midjourney
ANTONIO BANDERAS’ STEPDAUGHTER DAKOTA JOHNSON STILL CALLS HIM ‘PAPI’ DESPITE HIS SPLIT WITH HER MOM
At 35, inexperienced Antonio Banderas suddenly became the father of 6-year-old and 10-year-old kids. Years have passed, and he lives an entirely different life, but he is still a part of their family.
Movie star Antonio Banderas married a woman with two young children and expressed that it was nerve-wracking to marry into a wholesome family of three while being inexperienced.
Spanish actor Antonio Banderas and actress Melanie Griffith met while still married to other people. Griffith was still married to actor Don Johnson whom she wed twice, but they officially separated in 1994.
Actor Antonio Banderas and actress Melanie Griffith pose at The Antonio Banderas’ Blue Seduction for Women fragrance launch at Cedar Lake on July 10, 2008 in New York City ┃Source: Getty Images
She later fell for Banderas, who happened to be her co-star at the time in the 1995 rom-com, “Two Much.” He was still technically married to his first wife, actress Ana Leza. However, the pair were going through a separation then.
A month after Banderas and Griffith finalized their divorces, they walked down the aisle again in an intimate ceremony on May 14, 1996, in London.
When asked what attracted him to the New York native, “The Legend of Zorro” star told AARP in November 2011 that he had “admired Melanie long before I met her.”
Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith during 12th Carousel of Hope Ball at Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California ┃Source: Getty Images
Banderas recalled the first time he saw Griffith in the 1988 movie, “Working Girl,” and was mesmerized by her beauty, “Wow, she’s so beautiful, so special,” he said. He later spotted her at the Oscar Awards on the red carpet but had forgotten her name:
“Pedro Almodovar said, ‘It’s Melanie Griffith, you idiot! She’s nominated for an Academy Award tonight!’ Six years after that, we’re married!”
When asked how they went from their working relationship to being romantically involved while starring in “Two Much,” Banderas revealed they were both “unhappy” in their marriages.
“Things don’t work out sometimes, and that’s the way it goes. But we recognized that we were unhappy. I saw her with her kids, and she was so beautiful as a mom,” said the Spain native.
Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith during the 55th Cannes film festival: Stairs of “Femme Fatale” on May 25, 2002 in Cannes, France ┃Source: Getty Images
Banderas explained that it is typical for co-stars to develop a connection while working together and that most of the time, after filming, everyone cuts ties, but the same cannot be said about him and Griffith.
They kept in touch frequently until they finally admitted they had feelings for each other. Something he noted “was not easy” to do. When the “Frida” star married the Golden Globe Award winner, she had two young children from her previous marriages.
Griffith had her first child, son Alexander, with actor Steven Bauer whom she wed in 1981 and divorced in 1989 following five years of marriage. She welcomed her eldest daughter Dakota with Johnson, whom she was married to between 1976-1976 and 1989-1996.
Banderas Became an ‘Inexperienced’ Stepdad to Griffith’s Kids
Asked how he tried to blend into the marriage being a stepfather to Griffin’s son and daughter, Banderas admitted that it was difficult because he had to reassure the kids that he was there to stay:
“It was hard because the kids had to accept me, and I was totally inexperienced. Suddenly, I had a 6-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy. But as soon as the kids knew I was there to stay, they were fine. They needed solid ground in which they could grow.”
Antonio Banderas, Melanie Griffith and children during The 61st Annual Golden Globe Awards – Arrivals at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California | Source: Getty Images
Once he came to that realization, the “Spy Kids” star began “establishing my relationship, giving them security, little by little doing the father thing.”
When asked how long it took to put the children’s minds at ease, Banderas divulged “it took less than a year” for his stepchildren “to realize that I was not temporary.”
Soon, his daughter Stella was born, which became overwhelming because he was still trying to get Alexander and Dakota to warm up to him.
Banderas Had a Huge Influence on His Stepdaughter’s Career
Banderas’ hard work bonding with his stepkids yielded positive results as he became instrumental in Dakota’s acting career. The “Fifty Shades of Grey” star first had her acting stint in her stepfather’s directorial debut, “Crazy in Alabama” in 1999, alongside her mother. Dakota played Sondra in the film.
As a young child, she spent time with Banderas on set and recalled bringing pop singer Madonna an Easter basket while filming “Evita” in Budapest in 1996.
ANTONIO BANDERAS’ STEPDAUGHTER DAKOTA JOHNSON STILL CALLS HIM ‘PAPI’ DESPITE HIS SPLIT WITH HER MOM
At 35, inexperienced Antonio Banderas suddenly became the father of 6-year-old and 10-year-old kids. Years have passed, and he lives an entirely different life, but he is still a part of their family.
Movie star Antonio Banderas married a woman with two young children and expressed that it was nerve-wracking to marry into a wholesome family of three while being inexperienced.
Spanish actor Antonio Banderas and actress Melanie Griffith met while still married to other people. Griffith was still married to actor Don Johnson whom she wed twice, but they officially separated in 1994.
Actor Antonio Banderas and actress Melanie Griffith pose at The Antonio Banderas’ Blue Seduction for Women fragrance launch at Cedar Lake on July 10, 2008 in New York City ┃Source: Getty Images
She later fell for Banderas, who happened to be her co-star at the time in the 1995 rom-com, “Two Much.” He was still technically married to his first wife, actress Ana Leza. However, the pair were going through a separation then.
A month after Banderas and Griffith finalized their divorces, they walked down the aisle again in an intimate ceremony on May 14, 1996, in London.
When asked what attracted him to the New York native, “The Legend of Zorro” star told AARP in November 2011 that he had “admired Melanie long before I met her.”
Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith during 12th Carousel of Hope Ball at Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California ┃Source: Getty Images
Banderas recalled the first time he saw Griffith in the 1988 movie, “Working Girl,” and was mesmerized by her beauty, “Wow, she’s so beautiful, so special,” he said. He later spotted her at the Oscar Awards on the red carpet but had forgotten her name:
“Pedro Almodovar said, ‘It’s Melanie Griffith, you idiot! She’s nominated for an Academy Award tonight!’ Six years after that, we’re married!”
When asked how they went from their working relationship to being romantically involved while starring in “Two Much,” Banderas revealed they were both “unhappy” in their marriages.
“Things don’t work out sometimes, and that’s the way it goes. But we recognized that we were unhappy. I saw her with her kids, and she was so beautiful as a mom,” said the Spain native.
Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith during the 55th Cannes film festival: Stairs of “Femme Fatale” on May 25, 2002 in Cannes, France ┃Source: Getty Images
Banderas explained that it is typical for co-stars to develop a connection while working together and that most of the time, after filming, everyone cuts ties, but the same cannot be said about him and Griffith.
They kept in touch frequently until they finally admitted they had feelings for each other. Something he noted “was not easy” to do. When the “Frida” star married the Golden Globe Award winner, she had two young children from her previous marriages.
Griffith had her first child, son Alexander, with actor Steven Bauer whom she wed in 1981 and divorced in 1989 following five years of marriage. She welcomed her eldest daughter Dakota with Johnson, whom she was married to between 1976-1976 and 1989-1996.
Banderas Became an ‘Inexperienced’ Stepdad to Griffith’s Kids
Asked how he tried to blend into the marriage being a stepfather to Griffin’s son and daughter, Banderas admitted that it was difficult because he had to reassure the kids that he was there to stay:
“It was hard because the kids had to accept me, and I was totally inexperienced. Suddenly, I had a 6-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy. But as soon as the kids knew I was there to stay, they were fine. They needed solid ground in which they could grow.”
Antonio Banderas, Melanie Griffith and children during The 61st Annual Golden Globe Awards – Arrivals at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California | Source: Getty Images
Once he came to that realization, the “Spy Kids” star began “establishing my relationship, giving them security, little by little doing the father thing.”
When asked how long it took to put the children’s minds at ease, Banderas divulged “it took less than a year” for his stepchildren “to realize that I was not temporary.”
Soon, his daughter Stella was born, which became overwhelming because he was still trying to get Alexander and Dakota to warm up to him.
Banderas Had a Huge Influence on His Stepdaughter’s Career
Banderas’ hard work bonding with his stepkids yielded positive results as he became instrumental in Dakota’s acting career. The “Fifty Shades of Grey” star first had her acting stint in her stepfather’s directorial debut, “Crazy in Alabama” in 1999, alongside her mother. Dakota played Sondra in the film.
As a young child, she spent time with Banderas on set and recalled bringing pop singer Madonna an Easter basket while filming “Evita” in Budapest in 1996.
Her stepdad also cherishes such memories, and he once gushed:” She’s my daughter. I love her. I’ve been with her on my shoulders, traveling all around the world.”
Banderas also revealed Dakota’s sweet nickname for him while growing up, which is a combination of the word “daddy” in his native language and his name:
“Dakota called me Paponio, which is a mixture between papa, which is ‘daddy’ in Spanish, and Antonio. I’m her Antonio papa, so Paponio.”
Sadly, Banderas and Dakota’s mom filed for divorce in June 2014 following 18 years of marriage and released a joint statement that read:
“We have thoughtfully and consensually decided to finalize our almost twenty years marriage in a loving and friendly manner honoring and respecting each other, our family and friends, and the beautiful time we have spent together – Melanie & Antonio.”
The former couple had an amicable separation, and Griffith cited irreconcilable differences as the reason why she and Banderas parted ways.
Dakota Still Maintains a Loving Relationship with Her Stepfather
Many years later, her daughter presented Banderas with the Best Actor Award at the 2019 Hollywood Film Awards in a touching speech. Dakota got emotional when lovingly talking about her stepfather while calling him by her childhood nickname:
“I come from a family of many a marriage, and I got very lucky. I got a bonus dad who I realized that, over time, is actually one of the most influential people in my whole life.”
The Texas native said Banderas brightened their lives and shared his sense of “creativity and culture” with them, adding he brought “one remarkably magical little sister into our family.”
Chocking up, Dakota stated: “My stepfather! Antonio Banderas burst into our lives. He was so vibrant and fun and funny, and his English was abstract, and we found it amazing.” She said he “loved” her mom and her and her siblings so much that it changed their “lives forever.”
In his acceptance speech, Banderas dedicated the award to” two people” he loved, including Dakota, saying it was because she had always called him “Papi” and still does, which he loves. Following the event, the devoted stepdad told E! News Online that he “had no idea” that his stepchild would be honoring him with such a heart-warming speech:
“It was all a surprise. I knew that she was going to give the speech, but I had no idea whatsoever how she was going to do her speech. She didn’t tell me anything.
The proud father said it brought back all those memories he created with his blended family and that “it was a confirmation” that the time he spent with Griffith was not only about them but “about the family. They were all worth it.”
In February 2015, Banderas was promoting his animated film “The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water,” which was to be released the same weekend as Dakota’s “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie, and mentioned what a stellar actress she was.
He emphasized that there was “no competition” between him and his stepdaughter because their audiences differed for the films. “I wish Dakota the best, not only because of this movie,” but because he and the rest of the family, including Dakota’s biological father, knew she was an excellent performer.
Banderas added that Dakota would have a thriving career because she is versatile in portraying different characters. She nails comedy, which was evident in the TV series “Ben & Kate,” and drama too, which showed in the movie, he said. He noted that it was a window of “opportunity” for Dakota and that he knew she would grab it with both hands and run with it.
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