During my childhood and teenage years, I felt the weight of my father’s strict expectations. Instead of being supportive, he focused on control. His voice often echoed in my mind, reminding me of his “random checks” of my room and school bags, which felt more like an interrogation than genuine concern.
His high standards didn’t just apply at home; they spilled into my school life too. He insisted that I must earn at least a B in every subject, always pushing me to do better. This constant pressure built up a lot of anxiety in me and drove me to succeed, but mostly out of fear rather than passion.
As I got older, I became determined to break free from his tight grip, especially when it came to my college education. I decided to fund my own schooling, so my father couldn’t use financial control against me. In contrast, my cousin had a much different experience. His parents, my aunt and uncle, were involved in his life but respected his independence. They supported his education without making him feel pressured. This difference in our upbringings made me acutely aware of the heavy burden I carried.
When I graduated from high school, I made the choice to pay for my college myself. I took on part-time jobs and student loans, accepting the debt rather than risking my father’s influence over me. Interestingly, during this time, my father never offered financial help. He seemed unconcerned about my struggles, yet he painted a different picture to others.
He liked to present himself as the supportive dad who was investing in my future. At social gatherings, he would boast about how much he was contributing to my education, enjoying the praise he received for being a caring father. This false story was something he maintained without a hint of shame.
This charade continued until one summer evening at a family barbecue. During a relaxed conversation, my uncle, unaware of the truth, asked my father how much my education was costing him. Without hesitation, my father responded with pride, claiming it was a significant investment for my future.
Hearing this blatant lie ignited a fire in me. I knew I couldn’t let this continue. While I didn’t confront him then, I began planning how to reveal the truth in a way that left no doubt about my actual journey through college. I waited for graduation day, knowing it would be the perfect time to set the record straight. I invited my family, including my father, making sure they would all be there for what I had planned.
On graduation day, I felt a mix of nerves and determination. As I prepared to speak, I understood the weight of this moment. It represented not just my academic achievement but also a personal declaration. When it was my turn, I approached the podium, heart racing. The audience quieted, and I began: “Today, I want to thank the person who truly made this possible… myself. I financed my college education through hard work, determination, and countless hours of part-time jobs”.
The reaction was immediate. Gasps and murmurs filled the room as images of my college experience appeared on the screen behind me, pictures of late nights studying, work schedules, and tuition checks, all from my own earnings.
“Every dollar I earned and every exam I passed was done without any financial aid from my father”, I continued, glancing at my father’s shocked expression. The atmosphere shifted as my words sank in. The images contrasted sharply with my father’s claims, creating a powerful moment of personal vindication and public clarification.
After the ceremony, family reactions varied. Some were surprised, while others admired my independence. My aunt approached me, looking regretful. “We had no idea you did this all on your own”, she said, her tone apologetic. I wasn’t seeking sympathy but rather acknowledgment of my hard work. This recognition was more fulfilling than any comforting words could offer.
Later, my uncle, clapping me on the back, remarked with respect: “You really showed him. You took control and told the truth”. “Yes, I suppose I did”, I replied, feeling a sense of freedom that went beyond just graduating. “But more importantly, I showed myself what I’m capable of.”
That day marked the end of my college journey and the beginning of a new chapter in my life, free from my father’s oppressive expectations. I had proven to myself and others that I could face significant challenges on my own terms.
My experience in college, funded by my hard work, was a testament to resilience and self-reliance. Standing there with my peers and family, I knew that exciting new adventures awaited me, filled with the promise of freedom and the thrill of self-determination. I walked away not just with a diploma but with a deep understanding of my own strength and capability.
Dad gets massively shamed for putting leashes on his 5-year-old quintuplets
Raising children these days can be a task on its own. Young parents don’t just have to hear opinions from family members but also have to put up with random strangers on the internet commenting on their parenting methods.
Jordan Driskell is a young father of five quintuplets. His quintuplets happen to be 5 years old. As you can imagine, looking after 5 children who are the same age can be quite taxing. Especially at 5-years-old when a child is curious and likes to explore.
31-year-old dad, Jordan Driskell decided to find a creative solution to his problem. He bought leashes meant for children to control his rambunctuous little kids when they are in public together.
In the past, Driskell had a 6-seat stroller that they used for their big family. However, that grew tiresome very quickly because the kids would be bothered when inside it. The stroller was also incredibly inconvenient to take anywhere.
This helps the little kids get to wander and explore their surroundings when the family goes out without their dad losing sight or control of them and hence keep them safe!
Driskell posted a video of the family’s outing to the acquarium that caused a lot of negative feedback directed towards the parents. The video of the kids on leashes went viral with over 3 million views. Hundreds of people commented about how the children were not animals and hence should not have been leashed.
Others commented, “If you can’t manage the pressure, don’t have so many kids.”
Other offered disdain masked as advice, “Can’t you just properly train your children?” Discuss to them why fleeing is risky.”
Dr. Deborah Gilboa, an expert in parenting and adolescent development had a different opinion. She does not think a leash will make your child think they are an animal. And if the alternative to a leash is to stay at home, then of course, the leash is a much better option!
Dr. Gilboa said a leash is a great tool for younger children or neuro-diverse children to be controlled in a public environment. However, she said that if a neurotypical child is not off a leash by the age of eight and nine, and hence has not developed their listening skills, that might be troublesome.
By then, parents should be able to effectively communicate with children verbally instead of relying on tools like leashes.
Parents should have the freedom to parent the way they want without facing unneccesary judgement from society.
What do you think of children on leashes in public? Let us know in the comments below. Share this article with friends and family to know what they think as well!
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