Eight years of marriage fell apart in an instant when my husband Mike brought home his pregnant girlfriend and kicked me out of our house. I packed my bags, but what I really unpacked was a clever plan for revenge!
Eight years. About 2,922 days. Roughly 70,128 hours. Every moment, my heart kept saying one name—MIKE, my husband. I thought he loved me just as much. Oh, how wrong I was! I’m Michelle, a devoted wife who loved her husband deeply, until that shocking night when my world turned upside down.
It was a Tuesday evening when everything changed. I came home tired from a long day at work and found a very pregnant woman sitting on our couch, munching on chips.
At first, I thought I must have walked into the wrong house.
But no, there was the awful floral wallpaper that Mike loved, and there was Mike, looking uncomfortable like he had just swallowed something prickly.
“Hey, Michelle,” he said, sounding as casual as if he were just asking for salt. “We need to talk.”
I stood there, frozen, trying to process what I was seeing. The pregnant woman smiled awkwardly, her hand resting on her belly, looking like she was in a drama show.
“This is Jessica,” Mike said, pointing to the woman on our couch. “She’s pregnant. With my child. It… it just happened. And we’ve decided to be together.”
I waited for the joke. Surely, this was some prank for a reality TV show. Maybe I’d win a car if I didn’t freak out?
But Mike looked serious, and Jessica kept smiling that annoying smile.
Mike looked offended. “Enough, Michelle! This is serious. I think it’s best if you move out. You can go stay with your mom. Jess and I will take over the house.”
I blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Nope, still not a dream.
I half-expected Ashton Kutcher to jump out and tell me I’d been Punk’d. But no Ashton. Just my cheating husband and his very pregnant partner.
“Alright,” I said calmly. “I’ll pack my things and leave.”
Mike looked relieved, probably thinking he’d gotten off easy. Jessica’s smile got even bigger, like she had just won the lottery. Little did they know, their luck was about to change, and not for the better.
I went upstairs, packed a suitcase with my essentials, and left without saying a word.
As I drove to my mom’s house, the shock faded, and anger took over. But this wasn’t just any anger. This was the kind that makes you want to do something bold and incredibly satisfying.
The next day, I put my plan into action.
First stop: the bank. I walked in there like a woman on a mission, which I was. I froze our joint account faster than you can say “cheating jerk.”
The look on the bank manager’s face when I explained was priceless. I think he was mentally taking notes for his next book.
Next, I went to a locksmith.
I remembered overhearing Mike tell Jessica they’d be gone for three days, giving me plenty of time to carry out my plan. It felt like the universe was on my side, and who was I to argue with fate?
My next stop: my house. The same cozy home where Mike and I had once made plans for the future, which was now in ruins.
The confused locksmith probably thought I was crazy, laughing as I had him change all the locks on the house. I may have gone a little overboard and asked for the most complicated, high-tech locks. If I was going to do this, I wanted to do it right.
Then came the movers.
I gave them the spare keys and arranged for them to pack up everything I owned, which was basically everything in the house. I even took the toilet paper. Let’s see how Mike and Jessica enjoy using leaves!
But the best part? Oh, that was still to come. I had a brilliant idea that would make this revenge not just sweet, but unforgettable.
I sent out party invitations. A lot of them. To Mike’s family, our friends, his coworkers, and even that nosy neighbor who always complained about our late dog.
The invitation said: “Come celebrate Mike’s new life! Surprise party at our house, tomorrow at 7 p.m.!”
Then, I arranged for a billboard. Yes, a billboard. A huge one. It was delivered and set up on our front lawn, impossible to ignore.
In giant, bold letters, it read: “Congratulations on Dumping Me for Your Pregnant Mistress, Mike! Hope the Baby Doesn’t Inherit Your Infidelity!”
I stepped back to admire my work, feeling like a mischievous fairy godmother who just granted the world’s most ironic wish. With a satisfied smirk and a dramatic hair flip, I walked away, excited for the chaos to come.
The next evening, right on cue, my phone rang. It was Mike, and he sounded like he was losing it.
“Michelle!” he yelled, his voice reaching levels I didn’t know he could hit. “What the hell is going on? Why are there people at our house? And what’s with this crazy billboard?”
“Oh, that?” I said, trying to sound innocent. “Just a little housewarming party for you and Jessica. Don’t you like the decorations?”
“Decorations? It’s a freaking circus out here! And why can’t I get into the house?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, sweetie, you told me to move out, remember? You never mentioned anything about you staying there. The house is under my name, so I changed the locks. Oops!”
There was a long pause on the other end. I could almost hear him trying to understand what was happening.
“Where are we supposed to go?” he finally asked, sounding lost.
“Gee, I don’t know, Mike. Maybe Jessica’s mom would love to have you? I hear pregnancy hormones and in-laws mix really well.”
I hung up, feeling lighter than I had in years. But wait, there was more!
In the following days, I had the utilities turned off, canceled the cable, and made sure all our shared assets were in my name. I put the house up for sale, making sure to mention in the listing that it came with a “bonus front lawn art installation.”
I had Mike served with divorce papers at his work. I even asked the mailman to dress up as a pregnant woman. Just for fun!
But the universe wasn’t finished with Mike yet. Oh no, it had saved the best part for last.
A week later, I got a call from Jessica. Yes, that Jessica. She was crying so much that I could barely understand her.
“Michelle,” she sobbed, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know… I mean, Mike told me you two were separated. And now… now he’s broke and homeless, and I’m pregnant, and I don’t know what to do!”
I almost felt bad for her. Almost.
“Well, Jessica,” I said, trying not to sound too happy, “I hear the circus is always looking for new acts. Maybe you two could start a juggling duo? You juggle the baby, and he juggles his lies?”
She didn’t appreciate my humor. Tsk! Tsk!
As it turned out, when Jessica learned that Mike was now homeless, broke, and the laughingstock of the town, she decided that being with a guy who had no money, no house, and no future wasn’t a great idea after all.
She dumped him faster than you can say “Karma’s a b****!”
Last I heard, Mike was living in a tiny apartment, trying to scrape together enough money to pay bills and feed himself. His family had cut him off, disgusted by what he did.
They even sent me a fruit basket and an apology card. I ate the fruits while relaxing in my new jacuzzi.
As for me? Well, the house sold for a nice profit. I moved to a beautiful new place, started my own business, and adopted a cat. I named him Karma.
An Elderly Man with OCD Develops Feelings for a Waitress, Only to Be Publicly Humiliated by a Rival the Following Day
“Bob!” Jonathan called out, his voice tight with frustration. “Your cat is at it again!”
Bob, a quirky man with a wide grin and a perpetually messy appearance, popped his head over the fence.
“Ah, sorry, Jonathan! Mr. Whiskers is just a free spirit, you know? He means no harm.”
Jonathan grumbled, shaking his head. “Keep him out of my garden, Bob. I can’t have him ruining my flowers.”
Jonathan ate his lunch at a local café every day, occupying the same table by the window. The thought of someone else sitting there made his palms sweat.
Phoebe, the kind-hearted waitress at the café, knew about this peculiarity and always tried to reserve the table for Jonathan.
She was a bright spot in his otherwise anxious world, with her warm smile and gentle demeanor.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Green,” Phoebe greeted him as he walked in, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Your usual table is ready for you.”
At the sight of Phoebe, Jonathan got nervous, and his hands started to shake. He quickly sat down and began arranging the sugar packets on the table, lining them up in perfect rows to calm himself.
Phoebe watched him with a soft smile, understanding his need for order.
“Thank you, Phoebe,” Jonathan said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.
Phoebe nodded and placed his usual lunch in front of him: a plate of vegetables arranged by color, with the potatoes perfectly aligned.
She arranged the vegetables this way just for him, knowing it helped to calm his nerves.
As he ate, Jonathan couldn’t help but glance at Phoebe from time to time. She moved gracefully between the tables. Each time she looked his way and smiled, he felt a flutter of warmth in his chest, a feeling he couldn’t quite name.
Despite the rigid structure of his days, there was a small part of Jonathan that longed for something more, something beyond his routines.
And though he would never admit it, Phoebe’s smile was a tiny spark of light in his meticulously ordered world.
On one of his regular visits to the café, Jonathan brought a single daisy, its white petals slightly wilted but still charming. He hid it in his pocket throughout lunch, occasionally patting it to make sure it was still there.
As he finished his meal and carefully arranged his utensils, he discreetly left the crumpled flower on the table for Phoebe.
As Jonathan made his way to the exit, Phoebe hurried after him. “Mr. Green, wait up!” she called, her voice bright and cheerful.
Jonathan paused, his heart racing. “Yes, Phoebe?”
Phoebe caught up to him, holding the daisy gently. “This is lovely, thank you,” she said warmly.
“You know, the café owner is planning a musical evening soon. We’re looking for someone who can play the piano well. I remember you mentioning you used to play quite well. Would you consider performing?”
Jonathan felt his chest tighten. He looked at his watch, his fingers tapping nervously on its face.
“I… I need to be home. It’s almost time for my afternoon routine,” he stammered.
Phoebe’s smile softened. “I understand, Mr. Green. Just think about it, okay? It would be wonderful to have you play.”
Jonathan nodded quickly, eager to escape the unexpected conversation. “I’ll think about it,” he mumbled before hurrying out the door.
At home, Jonathan tried to follow his usual routine but found himself distracted by Phoebe’s words. Finally, he deviated from his schedule and sat down at the old upright piano in his living room.
His fingers trembled as they hovered over the keys. He began to play, but not all the notes came out right. His anxiety grew with each mistake.
Hearing the hesitant notes, Bob peeked through the window, his curiosity piqued. He knocked gently on the glass.
“Hey, Jonathan, need some help?” he called out.
Jonathan frowned but opened the window a crack. “I’m fine, Bob. Just… just trying something.”
Bob grinned, undeterred. “That’s awesome! Need an audience to practice on?”
Jonathan sighed. “It’s a foolish idea. I haven’t played in years.”
Bob stepped back and smiled. “Nonsense. Let’s work on it together. I can listen, and we can get you ready.”
Jonathan often struggled to play because of his obsessive thoughts, but Bob found a way to calm him.
He created little funny rhyming phrases.
“Tickle the ivories, just like pies,” and “Play the keys, no fleas, just ease.”
They first repeated them aloud, then to themselves. This helped Jonathan gather himself and play more steadily.
For the first time in a long while, Jonathan felt a flicker of happiness, a sense of accomplishment warming his heart. He smiled, thinking that perhaps this could be his moment to shine.
However, deep down, he couldn’t shake off the nagging worry that his joy might be premature.
The next day, Jonathan walked into the café with a slight spring in his step. However, instead of Phoebe, he saw Mark behind the counter.
Mark was a young waiter, known for his sharp tongue and competitive nature. He always seemed to be trying too hard to impress, especially when Phoebe was around.
Jonathan’s heart sank a little, but he approached Mark.
“Hello, Mark,” Jonathan said, trying to keep his voice steady. “Could you tell Phoebe that I agreed to perform at the musical evening?”
Mark raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips. “Sure, I’ll let her know,” he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “Good luck with that, old man.”
Ignoring the snide remark, Jonathan turned and left the café. He met up with Bob, who was waiting for him outside.
“How’d it go?” Bob asked, noticing Jonathan’s slightly flustered appearance.
“Phoebe wasn’t there, but I left the message with Mark,” Jonathan replied, trying to shake off the unease. “Let’s go get that suit.”
Bob nodded enthusiastically. “Absolutely! Let’s get you looking sharp.”
They went to the local department store, where Bob helped Jonathan pick out a suit. Bob was like a whirlwind of energy, holding up jackets and ties, and offering opinions on colors and styles.
“Try this one,” Bob said, handing Jonathan a navy blue suit. “It’ll bring out your eyes.”
Jonathan hesitated but took the suit into the dressing room. When he emerged, he felt a bit self-conscious but also a little proud.
“Well, what do you think?” he asked, turning around slowly.
Bob gave a thumbs up. “You look fantastic! Phoebe will be impressed for sure.”
After purchasing the suit, Jonathan had one more request.
“Bob, can we stop by the jewelry shop? There’s something I need to get.”
Bob’s eyes widened in surprise but nodded. “Of course, let’s go.”
At the jewelry shop, Jonathan carefully examined the pieces on display. His hands were a bit shaky as he finally selected a delicate silver bracelet with a small charm.
“This one,” Jonathan said, his voice soft. “For a special woman.”
Bob smiled broadly. “That’s a beautiful choice, Jonathan. She’ll love it.”
Bob patted him on the back as they walked out of the shop.
“Everything’s going to be great, Jonathan,” Bob said confidently. “I’ll be there to support you at the performance. You’ve got this.”
Jonathan nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips.
“Thanks, Bob. I appreciate your help.”
As they headed home, Jonathan felt a flicker of hope. Yet, the biggest test for poor Jonathan was to come, and he had no inkling of what lay in wait.
On the day of the performance, Jonathan arrived at the café, feeling a bit nervous. As he entered, he looked around for Phoebe but saw Mark behind the counter instead.
“Good afternoon, Mark. Is Phoebe here?” Jonathan asked, his voice slightly trembling.
Mark smirked. “Oh, she’s in the back. Why do you need her?”
Jonathan took a deep breath.
“I’m here for the performance. I told you to let her know.”
Mark’s smirk widened. “Oh, right. I must have forgotten. Besides, we decided against live music tonight. It’s not really your scene, old man.”
Jonathan’s heart sank. Just then, Phoebe came out from the back and saw Jonathan. She greeted him with a warm smile.
“Mr. Green! What a pleasant surprise. I didn’t know you came tonight! You look sharp today,” she said, noticing his new suit.
“You didn’t respond to my message, but I went ahead and tuned the piano just in case.”
Jonathan managed a small smile, feeling a bit more at ease. “Thank you, Phoebe. I’m ready to play.”
Jonathan looked at Mark, who shrugged nonchalantly. Phoebe frowned but turned to Jonathan with a reassuring smile.
“It’s not a big deal. The piano is tuned, and you can play. Let me just inform the café owner.”
As Phoebe walked away, Mark seized the moment to mock Jonathan.
“Look at you with your useless rituals. Your obsessive thoughts have no place here. You’re just going to embarrass Phoebe and yourself.”
Jonathan’s hands began to shake uncontrollably. In his panic, he knocked over a stack of dishes on a nearby table. The crash echoed through the café, and juice spilled onto the patrons at the neighboring table.
Faces turned towards him, some with shock, others with annoyance.
Feeling utterly humiliated, Jonathan ran out of the café, his vision blurred with tears.
Bob was just entering the café, having arrived a bit late. As he stepped through the door, he and Jonathan collided, nearly knocking each other over.
“Whoa, Jonathan! What happened?” Bob asked, seeing the distress on Jonathan’s face.
Jonathan, struggling to catch his breath, tried to explain.
“Mark… he didn’t tell Phoebe. They weren’t expecting me to play, and he… he mocked me. I knocked everything over.”
“Jonathan, calm down,” Bob said, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. “Remember our rhymes from the rehearsals. Repeat them with me.”
Together, they closed their eyes and chanted the calming phrases:
“Tickle the ivories, just like pies,” and “Play the keys, no fleas, just ease.”
Gradually, Jonathan’s breathing steadied, and the panic ebbed away.
Despite the anger and confusion inside the café, he felt a new resolve forming within him.
Bob gave him an OK sign. “You’ve got this, Jonathan. Don’t let Mark or anyone else stop you.”
Jonathan, still murmuring the calming rhymes, walked back into the café, ignoring the stares and whispers.
He made his way to the piano, his focus entirely on the keys in front of him. The café owner moved to intervene, but Phoebe quickly stepped in.
“Please, let him play. I’ll take responsibility for whatever happens next,” she pleading the owner.
Summoning all his strength, Jonathan began to play. The first notes were shaky, but as he continued, his confidence grew.
The music flowed beautifully, filling the café with a serene melody. The chatter died down, and everyone listened, captivated by his performance.
As the last note faded, Jonathan faced the audience.
“I have OCD,” he began, his voice steady. “But today, I overcame my fears and my need for daily rituals to take a step forward. I want to thank Bob for helping me find a new way to calm myself, and I even thank Mark for the obstacles he put in my path because they made me stronger.”
He turned to the café owner and the patrons. “I apologize for the chaos earlier and promise to cover the costs.”
The café erupted in applause, and Jonathan felt a wave of relief wash over him. Mark slipped out quietly, his head down, while Jonathan approached Phoebe, who was beaming with pride.
He took out the small box and handed it to her.
“Phoebe, this is for you. And… would you go out with me on a real date?”
Phoebe’s eyes sparkled as she opened the box to reveal the bracelet.
“Yes, Jonathan. I’d love to.”
From a distance, Bob watched with a satisfied smile. Jonathan had not only faced his fears but had also found the courage to pursue his happiness.
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