My husband’s mother emotionally overwhelmed me when she suddenly asked to assist me with the baby shower most helpfully. However, she had something else in mind that aimed to erase me, but I wasn’t having it!
When my mother-in-law (MIL), Margaret, offered to throw and plan a baby shower for me, I genuinely thought she was trying to be kind. But I should’ve known better because all she did was embarrass and paint me in a bad light in front of friends and family!
An unhappy pregnant woman | Source: Midjourney
I was eight months pregnant, and everything hurt, my feet, my hips, and even my eyelashes felt sore! My OB kept telling me to rest more, so when Margaret leaned across my kitchen island one day and said, “Let me take this off your plate, sweetie. You just focus on resting and growing that baby,”
I almost started bawling right there over the sink full of dishes! My eyes went wide with surprise! I felt like maybe I was dropping the ball by not planning my baby shower myself. But I was exhausted and honestly relieved someone wanted to take over!
A woman plotting | Source: Midjourney
“Are you sure?” I asked tentatively, feeling uncertain of my MIL’s intentions but desperate for the help.
“Absolutely. It would be my honor!” she offered. “You just rest up, you and the baby need it.”
“Oh, Margaret! You have no idea how much this means to me!” I said, gladly relinquishing everything to her.
I gave her the guest list, the registry link, and a carefully curated Pinterest board for the theme, titled “Baby Harper’s Day.” I even offered to help set up if she needed it! She waved me off.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it.”
And technically, she did.
Except what she planned wasn’t a baby shower. It was a full-blown tribute to herself!
A woman working on her laptop | Source: Midjourney
See, my friends and other female relatives were all inundated with their own lives and issues. Others were out of the country, while some were having family problems or hard times at work. They weren’t negligent or anything, it’s just that life happens sometimes.
However, they’d all promised to block out the date and attend no matter what. Plus, they had offered to make it up to me by babysitting as much as they could when the time came.
So you see, I really needed my MIL’s help.
Two remorseful friends | Source: Midjourney
Margaret has always had a way of spinning the room around her like a tornado: big smiles, big stories, and even bigger sighs when she doesn’t get the reaction she wants! She once cried during my bridal shower because no one clapped loud enough after her speech.
She also introduces herself like she’s reading from a teleprompter: “Mom of three, nurse of 30 years, and soon-to-be BEST Grandma!” She’s even said it to a gas station attendant and a confused cashier!
A confused cashier | Source: Midjourney
Still, I told myself this time might be different. Maybe this was her way of trying to connect. Maybe this was her version of nesting.
Oh, Mia. You naive, bloated fool!
The morning of the shower, I was more excited than I expected. I wore a lilac dress with soft ruffles, picked specifically to match the theme I’d dreamed up: Wildflowers and Woodland Creatures. I even curled my hair, even though it felt like lifting dumbbells with every pass of the curling iron.
A happy pregnant woman | Source: Midjourney
When my husband, Eric, helped me out of the car in front of the rented venue, I froze while feeling a sinking in the pit of my stomach. There was a giant white-and-gold banner strung across the gift table in the entryway that read: “Welcoming My Grandchild!”
Not “Celebrating Baby Harper.”
Not even “Mia’s Baby Shower.”
Just… “My Grandchild.”
Underneath, in slightly smaller text: “Hosted by Margaret — Grandma’s Little Angel and Future Best Grandma Ever.”
A banner at a baby shower | Source: Midjourney
My husband blinked, then turned to me with that same deer-in-headlights look he had the day he accidentally shrunk all my maternity leggings in the dryer.
“Babe… did you know about this?”
“Nope,” I said, pressing a hand to my stomach as Harper gave a solid kick like she knew we’d just stepped into weird territory.
Inside, it got worse!
A surprised pregnant woman | Source: Midjourney
Each table had a centerpiece, but instead of florals or baby-themed decorations, every vase held framed photos of Margaret in her younger years as a mother! My MIL holding Eric as a baby, her in a nurse’s uniform, and Margaret in a hospital bed with her firstborn, tears streaming down her face!
I scanned the room, hoping for something—anything—that connected to me or the actual baby I was still carrying!
Nothing.
A table with a framed photos as centerpieces | Source: Midjourney
The cake was a two-tier lemon sponge with “Can’t Wait to Be a Grandma!” written across the top in gold cursive script.
No mention of Harper.
Not a single sonogram photo was in sight. None of the registry gifts we’d hoped for were on the table. No diaper raffle. No “Mommy-to-be” sash. No one even knew my due date unless they asked, and they did!
It was like Margaret had created a parallel universe where I was just a surrogate carrying her grandchild!
A happy woman at an event | Source: Midjourney
Eric wanted to confront Margaret then and there, but I had no energy to fight. I begged him to leave it and promised him that everything would be fine, even though I knew it wouldn’t. I just wanted to get this thing over and done with, because a part of me blamed myself for allowing Margaret to play me like she had.
I smiled. I thanked people. I posed for pictures. And every time someone tilted their head and commented, “Margaret said you didn’t want to be involved,” or “Margaret said you were too tired to even care,” and “She said you didn’t care about the registry we got,” I clenched my jaw so tight I thought I’d chip a molar!
An upset pregnant woman pretending | Source: Midjourney
I overheard Margaret telling her sister, “She’s not really a planner. Doesn’t like the spotlight. I knew I had to step in.” Her sister nodded like my MIL was some unsung hero instead of the steamroller she actually was!
I wanted to scream as I stood there in a dress meant to match the theme I’d chosen, a theme she ignored! Instead, I sat through it. I told myself I’d deal with it later. Maybe even laugh about it one day.
Then came the toast.
A woman about to make a toast | Source: Midjourney
Margaret tapped her glass with a fork and dabbed a single tear from the corner of her eye like she was accepting an award!
“It’s been so hard planning this all alone,” she said, holding up her glass, her voice shaking with faux emotion. “But anything for my grandbaby! I know they’ll grow up knowing their grandma did everything she could for them, right from the start.”
People clapped as they turned their heads to me. I did too, trying to cover my embarrassment, but I knew in that moment what exactly I’d do the next day because I’d made note of everything!
An upset pregnant woman plotting | Source: Midjourney
Eric squeezed my knee. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered after he picked me up and we got home. “I didn’t know it would be like this.”
“Neither did I,” I muttered, forcing a tight smile for the next group selfie.
But that night, I stood in the nursery for a long time, staring at the decorations I made by hand. The ones I’d asked Margaret to hang at the baby shower. She hadn’t.
She hadn’t used a single decoration I made!
Hadn’t sent out the digital invites I created!
Hadn’t included the custom cake topper I ordered with Harper’s name!
She didn’t just forget me, she erased me!
An unhappy pregnant woman at home | Source: Midjourney
So, I posted a quiet carousel on Facebook.
It included the woodland-themed decorations I’d made. The cake topper with Harper’s name: “Baby Harper—Coming Soon.” The invitation mockup with lavender wildflowers and soft script.
And the caption: So grateful to finally celebrate our little one, despite the things that were quietly erased.
No tags. No names. No drama.
Just facts.
A pregnant woman posting on Facebook | Source: Midjourney
What I didn’t expect was for the comments to come in fast!
“Wait, you designed these?”
“I thought Margaret said you didn’t want to plan anything?”
“Why didn’t we see any of this at the party??”
“She told us you weren’t involved??”
Turns out, Margaret had told everyone I was too exhausted, too overwhelmed, too checked out to be involved!
She made it sound like she was swooping in to save the day!
But once people saw the post, the narrative cracked.
Her glow dimmed.
An angry woman | Source: Midjourney
Margaret called me five times that afternoon! Left three voicemails!
“It was just a misunderstanding.”
“You embarrassed me.”
“You’re making this personal.”
But it was personal! Because she’d made me invisible, at my own baby shower!
She’d made it all about her when it was supposed to be about us.
A shocked woman holding a phone | Source: Midjourney
Two weeks later, at my husband’s suggestion and planning, we had a do-over!
Nothing fancy. Just a handful of people who actually care. Close friends, Eric’s sister, my mom, some relatives, and the theme I originally envisioned!
There were wildflowers. A soft instrumental playlist of lullabies. Mason jars filled with lavender lemonade. My handmade decorations dotted the room. And a banner that read: “Celebrating Baby Harper and Her Mama.”
No Margaret.
Eric didn’t fight me on that. He just nodded and helped hang the banner.
A man about to hang a banner | Source: Midjourney
“I love this,” I whispered, sitting on the couch as everyone cooed over the gifts and asked about the due date.
“Me too,” he said, rubbing my back gently. “This is how it should’ve been.”
I didn’t post about that second shower.
I didn’t need to.
But Margaret heard about it. And I think—just maybe—that was enough.
Because here’s the thing, I am sure now she realizes: You can plan the party all you want. But if you erase the mother, don’t be surprised when the spotlight doesn’t follow you home!
A happy pregnant woman | Source: Midjourney
If you enjoyed that story, then the following one about MIL who tried sabotaging her daughter-in-law‘s (DIL) wedding day, will have you shocked! The DIL thought she was defeated until those close to her helped her get revenge!
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
Men May Get Hurt More Than Women During a Breakup, and Here’s Why
Breakups are never easy. They bring a whirlwind of emotions, self-reflection, and sometimes, heart-wrenching pain. While it’s commonly believed that women are more emotional during a breakup, recent studies suggest that men may actually experience more emotional distress than women.
Why is that? The answer lies in a mix of psychological, societal, and emotional factors that shape how men handle breakups. Let’s dive into the reasons why breakups tend to hit men harder and what they can do to recover.
Men and Emotional Vulnerability: A Silent Struggle
From a young age, men are often conditioned to suppress their emotions. Society teaches them that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness. While women are encouraged to express their feelings and seek support, men are more likely to bottle up their emotions.
This emotional suppression can be damaging. When a breakup happens, men might not have a strong support system in place to help them process the pain. Many men rely on their romantic partners as their primary emotional support, so when that relationship ends, they often feel lost and alone.
Without an outlet to talk about their feelings, men may struggle with feelings of sadness, loneliness, and even depression—sometimes much more intensely than women.
Societal Expectations: The Pressure to “Man Up”
One of the biggest reasons men struggle with breakups is the pressure to “man up” and move on quickly. Society often expects men to show emotional resilience, discouraging them from expressing grief or sadness.
Women, on the other hand, are more likely to seek comfort from friends, discuss their emotions, and actively work through their pain. Men, however, are often expected to act as if nothing has happened.
This need to maintain a tough exterior can prolong the healing process. Instead of working through their emotions, men might turn to distractions like excessive work, alcohol, or rebound relationships—only to find that the pain resurfaces later.
Why Romantic Relationships Matter More to Men
Men and women often approach relationships differently. While women tend to build multiple sources of emotional support through friendships and family, men frequently rely on their romantic partners as their main source of emotional intimacy.
When that relationship ends, it’s not just the loss of a girlfriend or wife—it’s the loss of a best friend, a confidant, and sometimes, their only emotional support system.
This can make the breakup feel like a double hit, leaving men struggling not only with heartbreak but also with a deep sense of emotional isolation.
Delayed Grief: Why Men Take Longer to Heal
Men and women grieve breakups differently. Women tend to feel the emotional pain more intensely at first, but they also process it faster by talking about it and seeking closure.
Men, however, often delay confronting their emotions. Instead of immediately processing the pain, they may distract themselves with work, hobbies, or casual relationships. But unresolved feelings don’t just disappear—they resurface later, sometimes in the form of depression, anxiety, or a lingering sense of emptiness.
This delayed emotional response can make breakups more painful for men in the long run, prolonging the healing process.
The Role of Attachment Styles in Breakup Pain
Attachment styles—the way people form emotional bonds—also play a role in how men experience breakups. Studies suggest that men are more likely to have an avoidant attachment style, meaning they struggle with emotional closeness but still feel deeply affected when a relationship ends.
This paradox can make breakups especially painful for men. On one hand, they may try to act indifferent and suppress their feelings. On the other hand, they might secretly feel heartbroken and unable to move on.
Women, by contrast, are more likely to have secure or anxious attachment styles, making them more willing to process and express their emotions.
Men Tend to Romanticize Past Relationships
Another reason men may suffer more after a breakup is that they often romanticize their past relationships. Instead of focusing on why the relationship ended, they tend to idealize the good times and overlook the problems.
Women, on the other hand, are more likely to process a breakup by analyzing what went wrong. This approach helps them gain clarity and move forward.
For men, however, this nostalgia can trap them in a cycle of regret and longing, making it even harder to let go and heal.
The Physical Impact of Breakups on Men
Breakups don’t just affect emotional health—they take a toll on physical health as well. Research suggests that men are more likely than women to experience:
- Sleep disturbances (insomnia or excessive sleeping)
- Changes in appetite (weight loss or gain)
- Weakened immune system (higher stress levels, increased risk of illness)
- Risky behaviors (drinking, smoking, reckless behavior)
Since men are less likely to seek emotional support, the stress of a breakup can manifest physically, leading to long-term health problems.
Why Women Heal Faster
Women tend to have healthier coping mechanisms when dealing with a breakup. They are more likely to:
- Talk about their emotions with friends and family
- Seek professional help like therapy or counseling
- Engage in self-care routines, like exercise or journaling
- Reflect on the relationship to understand what went wrong
These strategies allow women to process their emotions faster, helping them heal and move on more effectively than men.
Men, on the other hand, often suppress their pain and avoid dealing with it head-on, which ultimately prolongs their suffering.
How Men Can Heal After a Breakup
If breakups tend to hit men harder, what can they do to heal faster and move forward?
- Acknowledge Your Feelings – It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. Accept your emotions instead of suppressing them.
- Talk to Someone – Whether it’s a close friend, family member, or therapist, opening up can help release pent-up emotions.
- Prioritize Self-Care – Exercise, eat well, and maintain a healthy routine to keep both your mind and body in check.
- Stay Busy, But Don’t Avoid Healing – Engaging in new hobbies or activities is great, but don’t use them as an escape from your emotions.
- Reflect and Grow – Instead of dwelling on what’s lost, focus on what you’ve learned and how you can grow from the experience.
Healing takes time, but taking proactive steps can make the journey smoother and more empowering.
Conclusion: The Emotional Reality of Breakups for Men
While breakups are painful for everyone, men often struggle more due to emotional suppression, societal expectations, and a lack of support systems. Their tendency to avoid emotions, romanticize past relationships, and delay grief can make the healing process more challenging.
However, understanding these factors can pave the way for healthier coping strategies. By embracing vulnerability, seeking support, and focusing on self-care, men can heal and emerge stronger from a breakup.
At the end of the day, heartbreak is a painful but transformative experience. It’s not just about losing someone—it’s about rediscovering yourself, learning from the past, and preparing for healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.
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