My MIL Threw Away All My Food from the Fridge – I Responded on Her Birthday
Living under the same roof with my mother-in-law had been challenging from the start. The cultural differences between us had always been a point of contention, but I never expected it to escalate to the point of her disposing of all my cooking supplies.
The food I cook, a vibrant representation of my South Asian heritage, means more to me than just sustenance; it’s a connection to my roots, my family, and my identity. However, the disdain from my mother-in-law towards my culture and the food I love became painfully evident the day I found my pantry emptied.
Kebabs roasting | Source: Pexels
Having my mother-in-law move in was never going to be easy. The dynamics in our household shifted dramatically, but I had hoped for a semblance of respect and understanding. My husband, whose palate has embraced the diverse flavors of my cooking, has been caught in the middle of this cultural clash. His efforts to mediate have been commendable, yet the strain is visible, eroding the harmony we once shared.
A rice dish with various furnishings | Source: Pexels
The disparaging comments from my mother-in-law weren’t new to me. She had always made her feelings known, criticizing the way I eat with my hands as if it were something to be ashamed of, or the aromatic spices that filled our home, dismissing them as offensive. My husband’s attempts to defend me and educate her on the beauty and diversity of other cultures seemed futile.
Various spices | Source: Pexels
Living with her constant judgments and disregard for my heritage was testing my patience, but I had chosen to remain silent, attributing her behavior to the stress of the quarantine.
The morning I discovered the empty pantry was a breaking point. The realization that she had taken it upon herself to throw away not just the food but a piece of my identity was shocking. Her justification, claiming it was for the sake of her son’s dietary preferences, was a blatant disregard for me, my culture, and even her son’s choices.
Jards in a pantry | Source: Pexels
It was clear she viewed my heritage as inferior, something to be erased and replaced with what she considered “normal American food,” as if my being American wasn’t valid because of my ethnic background.
My frustration was compounded by the challenge of replenishing my supplies. The quarantine had already made grocery shopping a daunting task, and finding specific ingredients for my dishes was nearly impossible due to shortages. Returning home empty-handed to face her audacious questioning about dinner plans was the epitome of insult to injury.
A woman doing grocery shopping | Source: Pexels
In that moment, feeling belittled and disrespected in my own home, something shifted within me. I realized that remaining silent and attempting to keep the peace had only emboldened her disrespect. It was clear that direct confrontation or seeking my husband’s intervention again would not suffice. Her actions were a direct challenge to my identity and my place in this family, and I could not let it stand unaddressed.
An angry woman | Source: Pexels
As I stood there, facing her smug inquiry about dinner, a calm resolve settled over me. I knew that any response I gave now would only lead to more dismissals of my feelings and heritage. But I wasn’t going to play by her rules anymore. I wasn’t just going to find a way to cook with the limited ingredients I had or try to explain yet again why her actions were hurtful and unacceptable.
No, I had another plan.
A woman cooking | Source: Pexels
With a clear objective in mind, I channeled all my frustration and determination into creating a masterful culinary strategy. My mother-in-law’s upcoming party, intended to be a grand social event, provided the perfect stage for my plan. She had envisioned this party as a showcase of her taste and sophistication, expecting a menu of classic American cuisine to appeal to her guests’ palates. However, I saw an opportunity to subtly introduce the very essence of my heritage that she had so vehemently rejected.
A dinner party | Source: Pexels
As I took over the kitchen to prepare the dishes for the party, I decided to infuse each “American” dish with a touch of Indian flair. The burgers were seasoned with garam masala, the potato salad hinted at cumin and coriander, and the apple pie was laced with cardamom. The transformation was subtle, enough to intrigue but not overwhelm, a culinary bridge between my world and hers.
A dish with potato salad | Source: Pexels
The party was in full swing, with guests mingling and enjoying the ambiance. As they began to eat, their reactions were unanimous – surprise and delight at the unexpected flavors. One by one, they approached my mother-in-law with compliments, praising the innovative and delicious twist on traditional dishes. Each compliment was a testament to the universal language of good food, transcending cultural barriers and prejudices.
People enjoying a dinner party | Source: Pexels
Caught off guard by the barrage of praise, my mother-in-law tasted the food with a critical eye, expecting to justify her disdain for Indian cuisine. However, the scene before her, a room full of guests genuinely enjoying the food, forced a change in perspective. The initial instinct to reject the unfamiliar flavors was overshadowed by the realization that her biases were unfounded. The food was not just accepted; it was celebrated.
People enjoying a meal | Source: Pexels
This moment of revelation was pivotal for my mother-in-law. Witnessing the joy and satisfaction her friends experienced from the very cuisine she had scorned, she understood the futility of her resistance.
It dawned on her that her aversion to Indian food was merely a manifestation of her deeper biases against my cultural background. The reality that her son’s happiness was intricately linked to embracing his wife’s heritage finally broke through her stubborn prejudice.
People talking and laughing at a table full of food | Source: Pexels
The aftermath of the party marked a significant shift in our household dynamics. My mother-in-law’s acknowledgment of her misplaced animosity paved the way for a more harmonious coexistence. The tension that once permeated our interactions began to dissipate, replaced by a cautious mutual respect. Although this understanding did not erase all the challenges we faced, it was a crucial step towards reconciliation.
An upset older woman | Source: Pexels
Despite the progress in our relationship, the arrangement of living together remained untenable for all involved. My mother-in-law, perhaps recognizing the need for space to allow our relationship to continue healing, decided to move to her daughter’s place. This decision was met with a collective sigh of relief, a necessary change that promised a fresh start for everyone.
A happy woman | Source: Pexels
In the end, the experience taught us all invaluable lessons about acceptance, respect, and the power of food as a unifying force. While the road to fully bridging our cultural divide would be long and fraught with challenges, the party served as a poignant reminder of the potential for change. It underscored the importance of looking beyond our prejudices and embracing the diversity that enriches our lives.
How would you have dealt with a mother-in-law like this? Let us know on Facebook!
My Greedy In-Laws Tried to Get Rid of Our Sick Mom, but She Brilliantly Taught Them a Lesson
When Lexie’s husband’s parents are left to give up their home due to losing their jobs, they are left stranded. Seeing her husband’s distress at being unable to help, Lexie allows her mother to welcome them to stay with her. Things start off okay, but then the tables start to turn. Instead of being grateful, they start to complain about everything, resulting in a call to social services.
Not long after Cameron and I got married, his parents were faced with unfortunate circumstances. His mom, Jessica, and dad, Roger had no choice but to give up their home because Roger had lost his job.
An elderly couple sitting on a bench | Source: Unsplash
Cameron and I didn’t have the space to take them in. But they were desperate, and so were we. We couldn’t let them just try and figure it out for themselves.
When they realized that my mother lives alone, they asked her to let them move in with her. My mom had a double-story house, but due to being wheelchair bound since a car accident a few years ago, she had a live-in nurse to care for her.
A broken windshield | Source: Pexels
“Please, Tanya,” my mother-in-law said when we were all at my mother’s house for dinner. “We don’t have anywhere else to go. And we don’t have any money available at the moment.”
I knew that this entire thing affected my husband because there was only so much we could do in our own capacity. When my mother agreed, Cameron gripped onto my hand tightly and sighed in relief.
A woman in a wheelchair | Source: Midjourney
“Of course, you can stay here. You can stay for as long as you need to,” my mother told them.
At first, things were okay.
My mother-in-law cooked meals, and my father-in-law mowed the grass and took care of the basic upkeep of the house.
A person cutting oranges | Source: Pexels
But then, things changed and social services got involved. It was a nightmare.
This is what happened.
My in-laws began complaining that my mom was occupying the whole first floor, something that was obvious. Since her accident, my sister and I had converted the first floor into an entire house by itself for my mother.
A wheelchair beside a bed | Source: Pexels
She needed her space, and we were going to give it to her. The second floor was for our space when we visited Mom.
Instead of being grateful, my in-laws complained that they couldn’t put their stuff there. They mumbled about the simple food my mother had in her fridge.
An open fridge | Source: Pexels
“It’s such basic foods. There’s nothing new or different here,” Roger would say.
But still, even though they complained, they didn’t try to buy their own food or food that they would have liked to eat on occasion.
An elderly couple shopping | Source: Pexels
Nothing changed when Jessica got a job as head librarian at the local library or when Roger got a job as a proofreader for the local newspaper.
“Don’t you think they should start looking for a new place?” Cameron asked me when we were taking a walk one evening.
An elderly woman in a library | Source: Pexels
“I’m sure your mom cannot wait to have the house back,” he said.
“Actually,” I replied. “I think she enjoys having people there. She always said that it was too quiet with just her and Linda.”
“Yeah, I get that,” he said. “But my parents can be a lot.”
A couple taking a walk | Source: Pexels
It was as if my husband had spoken it into existence.
One day, as I went over to my mother’s house with pastries, I found her looking upset.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her immediately.
Pastries in a box | Source: Pexels
“Cameron’s parents,” she began slowly. “They’ve been hinting about a nursing home for me. I heard them talk about it last night, too.”
“Mom, do you want me to ask them to leave? They’re crossing the line,” I said, worried about her well-being.
A woman holding her face | Source: Unsplash
“Oh, honey,” she said, a mysterious smile forming on her face. “I’ll take care of everything, don’t you worry.”
A few days later, my mother-in-law called us crying.
“How could Tanya do that to us?” she asked.
A crying old woman | Source: Pexels
Apparently, my mother had told them to pack their things and move to the first floor because she was ready to move into a nursing home. She said that she needed the help and that she wanted to live a little easier.
Cameron’s parents thought that they had won the battle they created.
A healthcare facility | Source: Unsplash
Instead, my mother had called social services, telling them that she had two individuals who were living with her temporarily but needed the help.
The next day, people from social services arrived at my mother’s doorstep, ready to take Jessica and Roger away to their social housing facilities.
A person holding a phone | Source: Pexels
They were livid.
Cameron and I met them at my mother’s house because they demanded an audience.
“This is outrageous! We thought we were moving downstairs, not out of the house!” my mother-in-law shrieked.
An angry old woman | Source: Pexels
“How dare she trick us like this! We have done everything for her these past few months,” my father-in-law added.
Beside me, my husband flinched. He was caught in the middle, not knowing what to do or how to react.
“You took advantage of her kindness and tried to push her into a nursing home. You got what you deserved,” I retorted, barely containing my own anger at their words.
An angry old man | Source: Pexels
“You can’t just throw us out like this!” my mother-in-law protested.
“You’ve got a little place to live now,” my mother said, smiling. “But also, that’s not my problem. I helped you out, and you did nothing but complain. You didn’t want to be here. You were just here because you had no choice. Now, you can learn to fend for yourselves.”
Jessica was appalled. I don’t think she expected my mother to retaliate in that way.
A smiling woman in a wheelchair | Source: Unsplash
It was true, social services housed them in a little apartment which was close to both their jobs. They would be absolutely fine until they chose to move elsewhere.
As they left, they continued to curse, but it was clear that they had been defeated by the whole episode.
A small apartment | Source: Unsplash
“I’m sorry,” my husband told my mother when we settled her down again. “This was all my fault.”
It took a while for my mother to calm him down and make him realize that nothing was his fault.
“Your parents needed a place to stay, and they were welcome to do so here, but they continued to complain. They made life difficult here. Everything was a problem,” she said.
An upset man | Source: Unsplash
I continued to work my way around the kitchen while they spoke. I knew that my husband needed a pick-me-up, so I made his favorite Indian dishes, hoping that it would do the trick.
If I had to admit it, I also felt like it was my fault. I should have objected to the move in the first place. But I knew that my in-laws needed a place to live when they lost their homes. And maybe it was because of guilt.
A plate of food | Source: Unsplash
Guilt born from the mere fact that Cameron and I couldn’t do it ourselves, that we both had allowed them to live with my mother.
As we got into bed that night, I told my husband that we needed to see his parents. We needed to make sure that they were okay, despite their horrible behavior, they needed to know that we still cared.
A couple lying together | Source: Unsplash
The following day, we met them at their new apartment. It was a quaint little place, but it was just enough for the two of them. As we walked in, there were boxes lying everywhere and the smell of burnt toast permeated the air.
“I didn’t check the toaster setting,” Roger said, as his way of explaining.
Opened cardboard boxes | Source: Midjourney
We ended up taking them to a café for lunch, where they admitted to their behavior.
“We were in the wrong,” my mother-in-law said. “We know that now. We saw an easy way to live with Tanya, and we just wanted more. But now, we have to make it work for ourselves.”
An interior of a coffee shop | Source: Unsplash
I dug into my pancakes while Cameron let his parents have a piece of his mind. He went on about how they needed to be responsible for their actions and that nothing would make up for their behavior toward my mother.
“You embarrassed me. And you took advantage of my wife’s mother,” he said. “Do you know how that makes me feel?”
A stack of pancakes | Source: Unsplash
I allowed him to talk his way through it, while his parents continued to eat their eggs benedict in silence.
As we drove home, my husband stopped to get my mother a bouquet of flowers.
“She deserves it,” he said.
A bouquet of flowers | Source: Unsplash
What would you have done?
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