I Accidentally Overheard My Husband Talking about Me to His Family & I Still Can’t Digest It
A trip that was meant to be an opportunity to build a relationship with her in-laws turned into a crushing realization of feeling unwelcome in her husband’s family during their annual vacation
The early stages of marriage can be a transition, especially when trying to fit into your spouse’s family. This woman was still trying to navigate her place in her husband’s family, but in the end, she was heartbroken and felt even more displaced.
The woman took to Reddit to share how it all unfolded. She explained that she and her husband had not been married long, so she had not spent much time with his family. However, her in-laws had an annual family vacation, and this year she asked her husband if she could join.
The husband was hesitant, but his wife argued it would be a great opportunity for her to get to know them better and for them to work toward building a relationship. Consequently, the husband agreed. Upon their arrival, she realized the family was a bit surprised to see her but still welcomed her.
Things were going well, but the truth came out on the third day of the vacation. The husband, along with his brother, mother, father, and other spouses, were sitting outside while the Redditor was inside preparing a fruit salad.
As she walked toward the door, she heard her mother-in-law say, “Did she really have nowhere else to spend the weekend?” At first, the wife did not know who she was referring to, so she stopped to listen further and heard her husband say, “I know!!! And I didn’t want to bring her with me, but what was I supposed to do?!!! You know how pushy she can get.” She instantly figured it was about her.
The statement shattered her heart, and she almost dropped the bowl of salad she was holding. “This whole time I was there, I cleaned, cooked, looked after the kids, and this is how they think of me? An inconvenience to them?” she expressed.
The original poster (OP) could not see herself spending another day with the family, especially after discovering her presence was unwanted. So, she quickly booked the next flight out. Her husband texted but did not respond; she simply told him she had made it home safely.
When he got home, he was extremely angry at his wife and told her she was “disrespectful and juvenile.” The OP told him that she had overheard what he said to his mother, but he still blamed her for eavesdropping and said his family was slowly warming up to her.
In the end, the wife started feeling bad, thinking she might have ruined the vacation for everyone. Thus, she turned to fellow Reddit users and asked if she was right to leave the family vacation after she heard what her husband said about her.
Contrarily, the OP’s story had many commenters riled up. Readers believed the OP was right to leave because she overheard her mother-in-law speaking ill of her, and her husband did not defend her, which was a big red flag to many readers.
Another commenter simply asked, “Does he even like you?” while another added, “NTA. Please don’t let him gaslight you.” Another reader was shocked that the OP was being treated in this manner when she was a wife, not a girlfriend her husband had been dating for two weeks.
One reader shared that she had experienced a similar situation with her ex-husband. She said he used to go on vacation with another family, and when she asked to join, her husband told her it was “only family.” The woman realized her husband never considered her family, so she spent that week with her friends and when he returned from his vacation, she served him with divorce papers.
What was even more shocking to Redditors was that all the other spouses were allowed on the family vacation except for her. “NTA. Other spouses are welcome but not you? What on earth is going on here??” pointed out a commenter.
Here is a story about a woman who could not believe what her fiancé said to his friends after her grandmother’s death.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
What Men’s Beauty Standards Look Like in Different Countries
The mainstream definition of what an ideal man should look like varies from country to country. Just like women, a lot of men try to follow common beauty trends in order to be seen as more attractive. The cultural difference in what exactly people consider objectively beautiful might come as a surprise.
Bright Side did a fun bit of research about what people consider to be the ideal male beauty standard in many countries around the world. Looking at the most beloved male celebs will tell you about what is considered attractive.
1. United States and Canada
According to People’s magazine, the most attractive men in the US for the past 3 years are Paul Rudd (Ant-Man), Michael B. Jordan (Black Panther), and singer John Legend.
The usual definition of beauty, when it comes to men in the United States and Canada, is having a muscular physique, ruggedness, and golden skin. However, in the past couple of years, especially among the younger generation, an androgynous look has become more desirable.
2. India
According to the poll, the most attractive men in India are actors Shah Rukh Khan (Don 2), Aamir Khan (Like Stars on Earth), and Hrithik Roshan (Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara). Even though Shah Rukh Khan took first place, he actually opened up, saying that he has been called “ugly and unconventional” in the past.
The main beauty standard in India is having a lighter skin tone, which gets promoted a lot on TV. Other than that, Indian standards are pretty close to American: tall, muscular man, who have clear skin and a full head of hair.
3. United Kingdom
According to a 2021 poll, the most attractive man in the UK is Tom Hardy (Inception), and 2022 research suggests that Richard Madden (Game of Thrones) has a huge shot of winning that title.
The research data says that the ideal type of man for British people has an athletic build, brown eyes, short dark-brown hair, and some facial hair. In fact, men with beards are found to be over 60% more attractive than men without them.
4. Philippines
The most attractive men in the Philippines have been noted as Josh Cullen Santos from the boy group SB19 and the actor Alden Richards (Imagine You & Me).
The beauty standard in the Philippines has shifted and instead of looking macho, the men care about their appearance a lot and go for a more beautiful look, so they go to salons to get facials. Other standards include having dark hair, being at least 5’9“, and having a more “mestizo” look, which means being mixed with white.
5. South Korea
While western countries prefer men who are athletically built, South Korea likes more of a skinny, androgynous-looking body (not too skinny, fat, or muscular) for men. Men need to be a little bit soft, with slim facial features, double eyelids, and lighter skin.
Male celebrities in South Korea also do not shy away from using makeup or dyeing their hair, actors dye it black to look more youthful while idols dye it “fun” colors, and it is not considered to be revolutionary like it would be in the US.
6. Mexico
Mexicans go for a more “macho” look, which means being extremely masculine, as opposed to South Korea which prefers a more androgynous look. The list of the most attractive men includes actors Diego Boneta (Luis Miguel) and Ryan Guzman (9-1-1) in the first 2 spots.
7. Germany
According to research, German women prefer their men to be taller, with either black or brown short hair. The largest percent of the respondents said that they would like their man to be muscular, but skinny men took a close second place.
Football player Marco Reus and the actor Thore Schölermann have been named the most attractive men.
8. Italy
In Italy, men being overly masculine does not have much importance in terms of their attractiveness. In fact, a lot of men are into grooming and styling their body hair, and Italian men do not shy away from wearing “girlish” colors, like pink or purple.
The most attractive male celebrities are considered to be Raoul Bova and Giulio Berruti.
9. Australia
Australian male beauty standards are focused on physical size and being muscular. While women perceive their bodies as heavier than ideal, men who follow beauty standards, on the contrary, think they are too skinny. The Hemsworth brothers are considered one of the ideals of Australian beauty.
10. The Netherlands
The Netherlands is considered to be a country that has the tallest people in the world, with the average height of a woman being 5’7″ (around 170 cm), and 6’0″ (around 183 cm) for men. Dutch women seek a male partner that is taller than them.
TV presenter Arie Boomsma and actor Michiel Huisman have been named 2 of the most attractive Dutch men, and their heights match up the beauty standard: Boomsma is 6’5 (around 198 cm), while Peelen is 6’1 (around 185 cm). Notably, both men are also muscular and have facial hair.
Which country’s standards align with your own? Do you think standards are hurtful for people’s self-esteem?
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