This time, we sent an air fryer to our youngest granddaughter, the cheapest thing on her registry. Eloise called us, livid, accusing us of being cheap. I remember picking up her call and she didn’t even say hi, she just started ranting, “Seriously, Grandma? I just got your gift. An air fryer? That’s the cheapest thing you could find on my registry!”
I was taken aback because as much as the air fryer was the cheapest on their registry, I still thought it’d be useful to them, so I told her that. Eloise kept on complaining, “Useful? Come on, you know you can do better than that. Everyone knows you have the money. I just can’t believe you’d be this cheap with me. It’s embarrassing.”
In this heated moment, I told her, “Yes, you’re right. We are cheap, old, and useless. The only thing you DIDN’T know is that the day before the wedding, we were going to gift you a check for $40,000.”
I revealed this in an attempt to explain to Eloise about the cash gift we usually give our grandkids before the wedding but she was so angry at this point, that she wasn’t listening to a thing I said. I speculated that maybe she didn’t believe we would gift her such an amount of money after only buying her an air fryer.
Eventually, she said, “No, it’s clear. You just don’t love me enough to show it. You know how much pressure I’m under with the wedding. And then, this? It’s like you don’t even care,” then she hung up.
Despite my husband and I’s shock at Eloise’s reaction, we then bought her a China set, hoping to appease her, but decided against giving her the $40,000, feeling she hadn’t earned it.
Fast forward to last week. Eloise talked to her brother and found out that we were telling her the truth about the money. After confirming it with her cousins, she, called again, accusing us of discrimination, “I just found out that it’s true you gave the money to everyone else when they got married. Why didn’t I get anything?”
We stood firm, explaining our stance was due to her initial reaction, “We felt after your reaction to the wedding gift, it wasn’t right to go ahead and gift you the money.” Eloise pleaded trying to convince us otherwise, “So, you’re punishing me? Is that it? Because I was upset about an air fryer?”
I was angry that she didn’t even understand what she did wrong. “It wasn’t about the air fryer, Eloise. It was how you spoke to us, the disrespect. That’s not something we expected or can support,” I explained.
Eloise implored us, nearly in tears, “But that’s so unfair! I was stressed, Grandma. Planning a wedding is hard, and I just snapped. I didn’t mean any of it.” I felt like she should have only apologized to us instead of finding excuses to justify her behavior.
However, I told her, “We understand that it’s a stressful time, but actions and words have consequences. We hoped you’d understand the value of family and love over material things.” Full of desperation, Eloise added, “But you don’t understand! Can’t we just forget all this happened? I need that money, Grandma.”
She pleaded, threatened to boycott Christmas, and accused us of cutting her off but we didn’t budge. In the end, I expressed, “We love you very much. This has nothing to do with cutting you off. We just hope you’ll reflect on this and understand why we made our decision.”
Now, Eloise has followed up on her threat and she’s boycotting Christmas. Her mother, who is our daughter-in-law, is siding with her, calling us unreasonable. However, we feel that after all we have done for Eloise, the air fryer gift, shouldn’t have triggered this reaction.
For context, we had already paid for her college, and her parents covered her graduate school and half the wedding. Additionally, she and her husband are financially comfortable and do not desperately need our money.
We’re also not upset with our grandkids for revealing the cash gift since she is among the group of family members who are allowed to know about it. Our reason for sending the air fryer earlier was that we live far away, so we always send our gifts early.
The wedding gift is also separate from the money, which we give with the hope it will be used for something significant, like a home. Now, we feel like the action we took towards Eloise was well deserved and we are not going back on our decisions even if she and her mom threaten to do their worst.
Despite the tumultuous events and Eloise’s refusal to understand our perspective, my husband and I stand by our decision. Love and respect in our family are paramount, and we hoped this situation would be a learning experience for her.
The holidays might be quieter this year with her family’s absence, but our hope is for healing and understanding in the future. Our door and hearts remain open to Eloise, whenever she’s ready to mend fences.
Want more like this? Click here to read about a grandmother who sparked controversy online because she doesn’t bring her grandchildren gifts when she visits.
100 Year olds give secret to long marriage
Joe and Ann met in 1964Joe was a young soldier on leave, and Ann was a nurse at the local hospital, working tirelessly to tend to the men who came home battered and bruised. One afternoon, they happened to sit next to each other on a rickety bench in a small park by the hospital. Joe, looking down at his boots, noticed a young woman with kind eyes and a quiet smile reading a book beside him. They struck up a conversation about the book, and Joe felt like he’d been swept away to another world, far from the war and all its chaos.
The very next day, Joe had to leave for deployment again, but before he did, they arranged to meet on that same bench, no matter where life took them. Miraculously, they both survived the war, and when Joe returned, he found Ann waiting for him on that bench, a familiar sparkle in her eyes. They shared a lifetime together, raising a family, building a home, and creating a love that would endure the tests of time.
When they retired at age 55, they made it their tradition to return to that very park every single day, to sit together on their bench. Rain or shine, they’d be there, side by side, sharing stories, laughing, or just holding hands in comfortable silence. As the years went on, people in the town started calling it “Joe and Ann’s Bench.” Young couples would stop and smile at the sight of them, seeing the kind of love they hoped to grow into one day.
Their lives were filled with seasons of change—new grandkids, old friends passing, aches and pains that came with age—but that bench stayed the same. To them, it was more than a spot in the park; it was a witness to their love story, to all the memories they’d shared there.
Now, at 100 years old, they still meet at that bench every day. Joe helps Ann with her coat, and Ann straightens Joe’s hat before they sit. They often laugh about how old they’ve gotten, and every once in a while, Ann will lean her head on Joe’s shoulder like she did in the early days. Sometimes they’re silent for long stretches, but in that silence, they feel the weight of the love they’ve built together, rich with a thousand unspoken words.
When people ask them the secret to staying in love for so long, Joe always winks and says, “Just find someone you want to sit with, forever.” Ann always smiles at him when he says this, knowing he still means it with his whole heart.
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