Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Quееn Саmillа wаs firеd frоm hеr jоb аftеr night оut раrtying – nеw dеtаils аbоut hеr unknоwn lifе соmе tо light
At the time the public learned of then-prince Charles’ affair with Camilla Parker Bowles, she became the most hated person in Britain. At one point, she was even afraid to go out in public.
However, as time passed by, the people of Britain learned to love Camilla, and today, she’s a very important part of the family. What’s most, she’s loved by many.
Charles and Camilla were introduced to each other by a mutual friend, Lucia Santa Cruz, the daughter of the Chilean ambassador, at a polo match. They started dating in 1972, but the relationship didn’t last long as Charles left to serve in the Royal Navy. When his duties there came to an end and he returned home, Camilla was already engaged to her now-ex husband Andrew Parker Bowles.
However, they never stopped being close. Even when Charles married Diana, he and Camilla stayed in touch.
Royal author Penny Junior claimed that Charles was aware he wasn’t in love with his future wife Diana, but it was already too late for him to call off the wedding.
“Charles was not convinced he was doing the right thing in marrying Diana but there was no way out and, bolstered by the hope that things would be different once they were married, he put a brave face on it,” she wrote, as reported by the Mirror.
What’s most, Camilla and Diana knew each other and got along, but then things changed.
“I met [Camilla] very early on. I was introduced to the circle, but I was a thrеаt, I was a very young girl, but I was a thrеаt,” Diana explained in the book Diana: In Her Own Words.
The love affair between Charles and Camilla started in 1986, according to Prince Charles’ authorized biography, as quoted by Town & Country. At the time, Charles was still married to Princess Diana and she eventually became aware that her husband was cheating on her.
Diana even confronted Camilla once, but nothing changed.
Speaking of the troubles in her marriage and the reasons for its failure, Diana told Martin Bashir during a televised interview, “Well, there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded.”
Charles and Diana separated in 1992 and their divorce was finalized four years later.
Just months after Charles and Diana formally separated, the press published a full transcript of a telephone call between the then-future King and Camilla.
The phone call revealed an intimate and sexual exchange between the couple, which became known as Tampongate.
Despite the mistreatment from the press, the bond between Camilla and Charles prevailed. On April 9, 2005, the couple exchanged vows in a civil ceremony at Windsor Guildhall.
Later, at the wedding reception, the late Queen Elizabeth offered a toast to the newlyweds. However, she had other plans in mind, as she briefly stepped into another room to catch a horse race.
“I have two important announcements to make. The first is that Hedgehunter has won the Grand National,” the queen said.
“They have overcome Becher’s Brook and The Chair and all kinds of other terrible obstacles. They have come through, and I’m very proud and wish them well. My son is home and dry with the woman he loves,” Queen Elizabeth II continued as she made a comparison with her horses.
When she was married to her first husband, Camilla had a regular job. According to the Mirror, she worked as a secretary at several firms in London’s West End area and later as a receptionist at Sibyl Colefax & John Fowler in Mayfair. She studied at Dubrells School in Sussex and Queen’s Gate School in South Kensington before finishing school at Institut Britannique in Paris, where she studied English and French Literature.
In the book On The Fringe—A Life In Decorating, designer Imogen Taylor, who was a colleague at the interior design firm Colefax and Fowler, where the queen used to work, remembered a time when a young Camilla arrived late to work after a night of partying.
Taylor claimed Camilla was then yelled at and fired.
In 2016, she told the Sunday Times: “There were lots of debutantes working for us, even Camilla. She worked for us for a moment but got the sack.”
“He would shout and bellow so the whole building heard every word. The Duchess of Cornwall was one assistant who fell victim to one of tantrums. I think she came in late, having been to a dance,” Taylor recalled their boss’s temperament.
Today, Camilla is a vital part of the Firm.
Speaking of the current role Queen Camilla has taken upon herself, royal expert Angela Levin said Camilla is “holding the royal family up.”
“I mean, to wait till you’re 73 is a long time before you can take the crown. I think obviously, at his age, it’s very difficult, but he’s very determined, and he’s only really just started to be king,” Levin said while appearing on GB News. “Supporting him very much, absolutely by his side, is Queen Camilla, who is going to all the engagements that they would have gone to together on her own.”
“And so that way he will feel it’s still moving, it’s still running, and they can discuss it and talk about it. And I think that’s marvelous. I mean, she is holding the Royal Family up and being strong. If you imagine 30 years ago, people were saying the whole Royal Family would absolutely disintegrate, and she would be of no use.”
Although it is known that Camilla doesn’t want to be under the spotlight, she’s doing an excellent job while meeting with the public.
“To support her husband. She understands him very well because they’ve been together for over 50 years, before they even got married. it’s a long time and they make each other laugh,” Levin added.
Royal expert and former royal correspondent Charles Rae praised the queen for supporting King Charles and Kate Middleton in this troublesome time, calling her a “remarkable asset,” adding that Camilla is “one of the best things to happen to the Royal Family” in a “good number of years.”
“There’s no question about it, she stepped into the breach. She’s got everything on her shoulders with what’s going on, and she’s taking on even more work,” royal expert Charles Rae said.
“Everywhere she goes, she has got a cheery smile on and a happy face. She says the right things. She has proved to be a remarkable asset to the Royal Family, given the allegations that at one time she had bread rolls thrown at her in a supermarket car park.”
Rae concluded, “I remember her when she was the most hated woman in Britain. I’ve met her several times and she’s charming, she’s witty, she’s really nice to chat to, and certainly when she’s chatting to people, she has done her homework as to who she’s chatting to.”
Daily Mail’s royal correspondent, Rebecca English, told Town & Country Magazine there was a “very different situation” when Camilla joined the royal family and the present.
“They decided the way to do it wasn’t to ‘sell her’. They concluded that the best way to move things forward was to just let her be herself and let people see for themselves what she is actually really likе.”
We believe Camilla is doing an amazing job for the royal family during these tough times when both King Charles and Kate Middleton are battling cancer.
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