According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
11 years after losing his wife Liam Neeson opens up with heartrending truth about their relationship
Natasha was 29 at the time, and married to producer Robert Fox. That wasn’t enough to stop the romance from blossoming between her and Liam, though. Her marriage was falling apart, and at the same time, she “fell very much in love” with Liam.
Their chemistry was obvious for everyone present. Luckily for Liam, who was 40 at the time, Natasha’s marriage to Robert was already coming to an end.
When Natasha celebrated her 30th birthday, Liam decided to send her a card from the set of Schindler’s List.
”You’re catching up with me. Lots of love, Oskar.” (Liam played Oskar Schindler in the film.)
But Natasha didn’t find the message as romantic as intended. Instead, she decided it was time to be upfront.
She responded by saying: ”This is like a letter from a buddy. What is our relationship?”
Right then and there, Liam knew he had fallen in love with her.
”That was when I knew I really loved this person,” he said.
”I thought, ‘This is real and genuine and is something that has to be protected.’”
Not long after, in the summer of 1994, the two were married on a farm in upstate New York.
Had two sons together
In 2018, the 63-year-old Taken actor recently appeared on My Favorite Song with John Benjamin Hickey on SiriusXM channel, when he recalled a super sweet moment from his 1994 wedding to Richardson.
Neeson revealed that their wedding song was Van Morrison’s “Crazy Love.”
They had two sons together: Michael born in 1995, followed by Daniel in 1996.
Tragically, Natasha passed away in 2009 at age 45, following a skiing accident in Quebec.
Natasha was taking private skiing lessons in the Mont Tremblant resort when she fell on a beginner’s slope. As Richardson was skiing near Montreal, she fell and took a blow to the head. She was not wearing a helmet.
In the beginning, no one, including Richardson, thought it was severe.
The actress felt okay and against her instructor’s will, she decided to go ahead with her skiing lesson. After a while, the instructor called a ski patrol and wanted medical assistance and an ambulance. But Natalie refused.
However, Natalie and the ski instructor returned to her luxurious Hotel Quintessence room and did checkups to ensure she was okay.
Later, it was revealed that the paramedics who came to the room were turned away. They again recommended she should be seen by a doctor.
Approximately an hour after the incident Mrs. Richardson was not feeling good. An ambulance was called and Mrs. Richardson was brought to the Centre Hospitalier Laurentien in Ste-Agathe and was later trasferred to Hôpital du Sacre-Coeur”.
It turned out that she had suffered serious trauma and it turned out that the impact had left her brain “squashed up against the sided of her skull.”
“I was told she was brain dead. She was on life support and stuff,” Neeson recalled. “And I went in… and told her I loved her. I said, ‘Sweetie, you’re not coming back from this. You’ve banged your head. It’s – I don’t know if you can hear me, but that’s – this is what’s gone down.’”
In the end, Neeson understood that he had to remove her from life support. On 60 Minutes, he explained that the two had “made a pact” that if either one of them got into a “vegetative state,” they were to “pull the plug.”
Natasha passed away on March 18, 2009. But one comforting thing for Neeson was finding her wife’s organ donor status. He said that her heart, liver, and kidneys went to people in need.
For five years following her tragic death, grief-stricken Liam kept silent, finally opening up in a 2014 episode of 60 Minutes.
”I went in to her and I told her I loved her…”
He went on to tell Anderson Cooper that he hadn’t understood the seriousness of Natasha’s accident.
Liam recalled arriving at the hospital. ”She was on life support”, he said.
At the hospital, Liam was shown Natasha’s X-rays.
Doctors told him that his wife was alive, but was considered to be in a vegetative state. She would never recover, according to the medical professionals.
”I’ve taken a tumble in the snow..”
”I spoke to her and she said, “Oh darling. I’ve taken a tumble in the snow.”
‘That’s how she described it.”
It’s heartbreaking to hear him describe their final moments together.
”I went in to her and told her I loved her. Said, ‘Sweetie, you’re not coming back from this. You’ve banged your head. It’s – I don’t know if you can hear me, but that’s – this is what’s gone down. And we’re bringing ya back to New York. All your family and friends will come”, he said.
And five years after she passed away, Liam was understandably still struggling to come to terms with his loss.
In an interview with Loaded magazine, he said: ”Her death was never real. It still kind of isn’t.”
Looking back at their marriage, one of Liam says one of his favorite things about Natasha was her generous and infectious maternal love.
“She cared for everybody,” he said. “She has a motherly instinct. And she’d make dinners for everyone and just looked looked after us all.”
The couple had consented to be organ donors, and Liam saw that promise through after Natasha’s death.
With her passing, Natasha gave life to three people, even though she left three family members behind whose lives would never be the same again.
”Life is very short”
Now, each year, as their wedding anniversary rolls around, Liam remembers the love they shared.
In 2016, Liam shared a message with fans on social media remembering his late wife. He advised everyone to cherish their partners and make the most of each and every day together.
”We have to stop and be thankful for our spouses. Because, life is very short. Spend time with your spouses. Treat them well. Because, one day, when you look up from your phone, they won’t be there anymore. Live and love (every day) like it’s your last. Because, one day, it will be. Take chances and go live life. Tell the ones you love, that you love them every day.”
Liam could not underline enough that people should not take any moment for granted. “Life is worth living,” he said.
Very true, Liam. Very true indeed.
What beautiful memories he has to cling to, and wonderful life instructions for the rest of us to remember and guide us through our own lives!
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