According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
No one shows up for 6-year-old’s birthday party – then mom shares picture and the community steps up
For one youngster named Teddy, it was supposed to be the finest day of his life, but instead it was a terrible experience. His parents wanted to take him to Lego Land or Disney World for his sixth birthday, but he preferred to celebrate with his pals.
About two weeks prior to the big day, Teddy’s mother reserved a table at Peter Piper Pizza and handed 32 invitations to Teddy’s teacher, asking her to give one to each student in the class. More over half of the parents of the children stated they would bring the kids to the celebration.
Teddy’s mother Sia ordered a large pizza and made gift bags for her son’s buddies for his birthday. Even though everyone was expecting to have a blast, not one of the classmates came up. After over an hour of waiting, the friends had vanished from sight.
Sia was devastated after this. She was inconsolable for her son, who was having a really difficult day on what should have been an enjoyable one.
The New York Post was informed by Teddy’s father, “I was bummed, I was bummed out for sure.”Teddy found it sad that they hadn’t arrived one hour into the celebration because, to him, that was the most important thing. The parents sought to divert their son’s attention with pastimes like arcade games in an effort to lift his spirits.
In an effort to raise awareness that something like this should never happen to anyone, Sia chose to snap a picture of Teddy and post it online. She didn’t anticipate, though, that Teddy’s dejected picture would become so popular and garner so much attention. When she saw how much publicity it garnered, she even regretted posting it.
Teddy received birthday wishes from hundreds of people, many of whom also sent gifts. The Phoenix Suns and the Phoenix Rising MLS team welcomed the family to their forthcoming games as part of their efforts to brighten Teddy’s day a little bit.
Only one parent apologized to Sia on behalf of all the other parents who didn’t bring their kids to the celebration.
Even if this narrative left us feeling let down, it should serve as a reminder to exercise greater consideration and thoughtfulness.
Watch the video below to learn more about the narrative.
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