According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Poor Old Man Steps Out of Home One Morning & Sees Luxury Car Instead of Old One He Owns – Story of the Day
A poor older man is unexpectedly rewarded for the kindness he showed to a stranger when he steps out of his house one morning and finds a brand new sports car instead of his old one.
80-year-old Gregory Smith stood on his front porch, dumbfounded. He pinched himself twice to ensure he wasn’t dreaming and called out to his wife, Cynthia, as he stared at the contents of the envelope in his hand and then at the gleaming sports car in front of his house.
“Cynthia! Cynthia! Come here quickly!” he shouted, his hands trembling with anxiety at the sight of the new car and his old one gone.
“What’s the matter with you, Gregory?” Cynthia emerged from inside, drying her hands on a towel and frowning. “I burnt the pancake because of you! If you don’t know, we were down to our last packet of pancake mix! And you’re just standing here? When are you planning on going to the grocery store?”
Gregory’s old car was gone. | Source: Pexels
Gregory waved his hand dismissively. “Look at this, Cynthia,” he said, showing her the envelope he had found on their front porch. “There were car keys inside the envelope and our old car is gone! Look over there,” he added, pointing outdoors where he had parked his old car last night. “That’s a brand new car! Who could have done this? What should I do now?”
“And there’s no note inside or anything indicating who sent this?” Cynthia asked, confused.
“I already double-checked the envelope. There is none! What do we—”
Before Gregory could finish his sentence, the honk of a car cut him off. When he looked out of the front door, he saw his old car parked in front of his house and a man stepping out of it.
Gregory’s eyes teared when he saw who the man was. “Oh my goodness! He kept his promise, Cynthia!” he said, turning to face her. Cynthia was smiling as if she knew this was going to happen.
Cynthia was the man’s partner in crime in planning the surprise for Gregory. | Source: Pexels
The man gave Gregory a warm hug. “How have you been, Gregory? It’s been some time, hasn’t it?”
“Jack? Oh, I can’t believe this…I’m quite good, dear. How are you? And please tell me you did not do this!” he cried, hugging him back.
“I had to, Gregory. After what you did for me…I mean, who shows such kindness these days? And you can’t blame me for it completely. Mrs. Smith helped me carry out the plan….” he said, smiling.
“I clearly didn’t take him seriously! But now that I see that shiny new car standing outside our door, I regret it.”
“Honestly, I tried to refuse him, darling,” Cynthia told Gregory. “But this boy wouldn’t listen to me! And it was so hard to play along! I.m terrible at acting, aren’t I?” she asked, scrunching her nose, and Jack laughed.
“I don’t think so, Mrs. Smith!”
Gregory shook his head repeatedly. “So this old man was being played and he had no clue? Oh, what do I even say….”
Both Cynthia and Jack laughed. “Alright, alright, enough talking,” Cynthia finally said. “Now, because Jack has come all the way here for us, we can’t just let him go. Come in and join us for breakfast, Jack, and there is no need to go to the store, Gregory. We have groceries that will last at least a week…It was all part of the plan,” she chuckled as she walked inside, Jack close behind her.
The man behind the new car was Jack. | Source: Pexels
As everyone sat at the dining table, Cynthia served breakfast and Jack began to recall his first encounter with Gregory. Cynthia knew bits and pieces of their story, but she wasn’t aware of the entire episode.
“So three weeks ago, Mrs. Simpson,” Jack began. “I met your husband at the airport. I was meant to fly the same flight as him to see my wife. She was in labor and I was very worried. In my anxiety, I didn’t realize I got the date wrong on my ticket. It was for the next day. I only realized it while checking in.
“Because there were no more seats available that day, Gregory offered me his ticket and said, ‘Boy, you NEED to be with your wife! Use my ticket and I’ll use yours.”
“Okay,” Cynthia said slowly, nodding. “I know about the ticket swap. But what about the cars? I’m still wondering what this car exchange has to do with anything….”
Cynthia was eager to learn the whole story behind the car swap. | Source: Pexels
Gregory chuckled. “That’s another interesting part…Before we went to the check-in, Jack and I had met in the waiting room. We were casually talking, honey, and I mentioned that we were still paying off loans, so we can’t afford a new car, and how our old one is giving us problems… After we exchanged tickets, this boy said, ‘Today we switched tickets; in a few weeks, we’ll exchange cars, that’s a promise!’
“I clearly didn’t take him seriously! But now that I see that shiny new car parked outside our door, I regret telling him we wanted a new car. Before departing, he took my address, and look what he’s done! We can’t keep it, Jack. We value your intentions, but this is unnecessary, boy…”
Cynthia nodded. “Gregory is right. We won’t be able to keep the car. I didn’t think much when you met with me yesterday and told me about this whole surprise, but I regret saying yes. Please, this isn’t necessary….”
Gregory couldn’t help but smile as he talked about his encounter with Jack. | Source: Pexels
But Jack shook his head. “Trust me; it’s nothing in return for what you did. Because of your husband, I got to be with my wife and baby. Please, I would feel bad if you turned down my present. I insist….”
Gregory and Cynthia couldn’t say no to Jack. They accepted the car, but Jack’s generosity did not end there. He was aware that after Gregory retired, he and Cynthia were struggling to pay off their loans, and as a result, they’d been unable to complete their house repairs.
So Jack took care of it for them. And one day, he came to visit them with his wife and baby daughter.
While they live in different cities, the Smiths feel like they’ve become a blended family with Jack. The young man checks on them every now and then and makes sure they don’t miss out on anything, especially after learning the old couple didn’t have any children of their own.
What can we learn from this story?
- Kindness never goes unrewarded. Gregory offered his plane ticket to Jack so he could be with his pregnant wife, and in return, he and Cynthia received so much love and respect from Jack that they had not even thought of. Jack was like a son to them and cared for their smallest needs.
- Help someone whenever and in whatever way you can. Gregory could offer Jack his ticket to help him, and he did that. In return, he and his wife were blessed with the love of a son they never had.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about an older man who dresses as a homeless man to determine his heir.
This piece is inspired by stories from the everyday lives of our readers and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life. If you would like to share your story
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