According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
CEO Asks One Question That’s an ‘Instant Red Flag’ If Interviewees Try to Answer It
Interviews are dreaded by many job seekers, particularly the infamous “curveball” questions used by recruiting managers and CEOs. The CEO and creator of JKR Windows, an American window installation company, Jefferson K. Rogers, has drawn notice for his unusual interview technique: a trick question intended to weed out unsuitable applicants.
“Impossible” Question: An Assessment of Sincerity and Coachability
Rogers posted his unique approach to interviews on his TikTok channel. He asks a question that he is certain the interviewee will be unable to respond to right away. Although the exact question is still unknown, Rogers stresses that there is no “right” response. The twist is this: The CEO is more interested in the candidate’s approach to the unknown than in knowledge.
What He Looks For:
Sincerity: Is the applicant willing to acknowledge when they don’t know the solution?
Openness: Are they amenable to picking up new skills?
Coachability: Are they open to direction and instruction?
A candidate who tries to make up an answer, in Rogers’ opinion, is showing signs of a potentially troublesome personality—someone who is resistive to learning or hesitant to acknowledge their shortcomings.
Divergent Responses on Social Media
Although Rogers describes this technique as a useful means of determining fit, TikTok users had a variety of reactions.
Supporters: Some argue that the strategy is advantageous because it shows a candidate’s coachability and willingness to learning.
Critics: According to others, it’s a bad strategy that could stop competent applicants from attempting to solve a problem or show their resolve by trying to provide a response. Furthermore, others consider the approach to be manipulative, arguing that it puts a particular response ahead of a true comprehension of the role.
Different Methods for Evaluating Fit
Although the “impossible question” generates discussion, there are alternative methods to assess a candidate’s fit for a role:
Behavioral Interviewing: Highlighting the candidate’s prior experiences and how they responded to particular circumstances can provide important context for understanding how they solve problems and approach new tasks.
Skills-Based Evaluations: An applicant’s suitability for a position can be determined immediately by testing pertinent abilities such technical proficiency, communication, and critical thought.
Fit Between the Work Style and Values of the Company: An interview’s questions and exchanges can reveal whether a candidate’s work style and values complement the company’s culture.
The success of any interview technique ultimately depends on the particular position and business. Although Rogers’ deceptive question might be useful to his organization, it’s crucial to think about other approaches to guarantee a thorough interview process that draws in and selects the top candidates.
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