Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
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This “Angelic” Child Star Stayed under the Radar, He Looks “Unrecognizable” & Grew Beard to Hide from the Public
Having risen to fame as a beloved child star, Haley Joel Osment has undergone a significant transformation throughout his Hollywood journey. Osment’s evolution in the industry has been noteworthy, transitioning from his early days as a youthful actor with a cherubic face to his present-day distinguished persona.
Even in his youth, Osment displayed a remarkable talent for portraying deep emotions early in his career. His performances garnered acclaim from both critics and fans alike, who admired his ability to blend a cherubic appearance with an innocent boyish charm that captivated audiences.
Following the release of “The Sixth Sense” in 1999, Osment’s career took a significant turn. The film catapulted him to international fame and earned him widespread praise for his portrayal of a troubled young child, establishing him as one of Hollywood’s most promising young talents.
As Osment matured, both his roles and his appearance underwent noticeable changes. Nominated for prestigious awards, he graced the Academy Awards stage and continued to challenge himself with complex characters that showcased his versatility as an actor.
During the mid-2000s, Osment faced personal challenges, notably a high-profile incident involving drunk driving. However, he viewed this period as an opportunity for personal growth, and he emerged from it with a renewed perspective on his career.
Today, Osment remains a thriving presence in the entertainment industry, starring in a variety of films and television series that highlight his versatility as an actor. Sporting a tidy beard and exuding an adult demeanor, he continues to be admired for his transformative performances and steadfast dedication to his craft.
From his early days as a prodigious young talent to his current status as a seasoned actor, Haley Joel Osment’s journey in Hollywood has been defined by growth, transformation, and perseverance. His enduring skill and enduring presence in the industry stand as a testament to his remarkable career, which continues to evolve both professionally and personally.
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