Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
Barbra Streisand says she ‘can’t live in this country’ if this happens
A mainstay of the Hollywood glitterati, Barbra Streisand recently went too far in her online defense of Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis, claiming that Willis was the victim of a conservative scheme to use her private life to discredit her public one.
The singer and actress claimed in a post on X that Willis is only guilty of desiring a personal connection with Nathan Wade, the assistant attorney she employed to look into Trump and the other eighteen defendants they have accused with racketeering in connection with Georgia’s 2020 election outcomes.
“How absurd it is for the Republicans to want to fire Fani Willis. For what purpose? Believing that a woman cannot lead a private life in addition to a career? Men engage in it frequently! How absurd is this situation? said Streisand on Monday.
“Trump and his supporters are assaulting Willis, the DA, who is bringing charges against him for trying to thwart Georgia’s electorate’s decision. She is close to one of the prosecutors in private. The case’s facts and Trump’s blatant attempt to force the Secretary of State to “find” additional votes for him and present fictitious electors to Congress have nothing to do with this. It’s just another one of Trump’s distractions,” she continued.
Leave a Reply