Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
My Stepmom Wore a White Dress to My Wedding, Claiming She “Deserves Attention Too”, My Husband Showed Her a Lesson She Won’t Forget
When Alexandra’s stepmother, Linda, showed up at her wedding in a white dress, demanding attention, Alexandra knew drama was coming. However, her husband Tom had a clever plan to shift the focus back to the special day. Linda was busy arranging flowers for the wedding, insisting that everything needed to be perfect. Alexandra watched from the dining table, sipping tea and trying to stay calm, while her father praised Linda’s skills.
Linda entered Alexandra’s life when she was ten, after her mother passed away. Since then, she had always enjoyed being the center of attention. As she fussed over the flowers with dramatic flair, Alexandra couldn’t help but worry about what Linda might do at the wedding. Despite her excitement about the big day, Alexandra felt anxious about Linda stealing the spotlight, just like she had on past birthdays and holidays. Trying to distract herself, she asked her dad about the wedding, but Linda quickly jumped in, reminding everyone how important this day was.
As Alexandra met her best friend Sarah at the wedding planner’s office, she revealed her worries. Sarah, noticing Alexandra’s distress, reassured her that everything would be fine. However, the planner, Grace, informed them that Linda insisted on sitting in the front row and giving a speech. This was not traditional, as those spots were usually reserved for the bride’s parents. Alexandra felt frustration bubbling up, knowing Linda would make the day about herself. They discussed ways to address the situation, including having someone else give a speech in honor of Alexandra’s mother.
After meeting with Grace, Alexandra returned home to share her concerns with Tom. She expressed her fear that Linda would overshadow the wedding. Tom comforted her, assuring her they would handle it together. On the wedding day, while preparing, Sarah rushed in, pale and panicked, to tell Alexandra that Linda had arrived in a full-length white wedding dress. Alexandra was furious and confronted Linda, who unapologetically claimed it was her moment to shine.
Tom urged Alexandra to trust him, and the ceremony began with Linda sitting in the front row, soaking up the attention. As Alexandra tried to focus on her vows, she couldn’t ignore Linda’s smug expression. When it was time for speeches, Alexandra felt tense. Just as Linda stood to speak, Tom took the microphone and presented a video tribute to Alexandra’s late mother. The room filled with heartfelt memories, and Linda’s confidence began to fade.
After the tribute, Tom invited Linda on stage, claiming they wanted to celebrate her too. But as he played a slideshow, it quickly turned embarrassing for Linda. It included footage of her sneaking into Alexandra’s bridal suite earlier, trying on her veil and twirling with the bouquet. The crowd gasped, and then Tom played a recording of Linda on the phone, bragging about her plan to outshine Alexandra. Shocked murmurs filled the room, and Linda’s face turned crimson.
Tom then introduced Linda’s ex-husband, who shared stories of her past antics. Humiliated, Linda slipped out of the hall as Tom and Alexandra exchanged knowing smiles. They had turned the day back to what it was meant to be, a celebration of love and memory, not about Linda. Have you ever had to stand up to someone at your wedding?
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