Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
Late Titanic star Bill Paxton revealed true feelings about his own fearful experience of submersible dive for movie
In 2003, years after the Titanic film was released to the public, actor Bill Paxton opened up about how he went on a submersible ride to experience everything firsthand as well.
The interview was ahead of the documentary Ghosts of the Abyss release. The documentary showed director James Cameron discussing his inspiration for the film and taking several people, which included Paxton, on unscripted dives to the Titanic’s site.
“Each dive, I had to kind of look myself in the mirror and go ‘OK, are you ready for this?’” Paxton said in the 2003 interview. “It’s one of those things where Jim [Cameron] asked me in passing to go and…the opportunity of a lifetime. I jumped at it,” the actor explained.
“But then you start thinking about physically what’s going to be required of you to get into a three-man, deep-sea Russian submersible for a 13-hour dive,” he shared. “To go down two and a half miles to a place where the sun has never penetrated. And you’re starting to think ‘OK, I’ve got young kids. I need to get them to an age where they can support themselves before I do something this crazy.’”
“Jim is an infectious guy. And also, God, who wouldn’t go on this adventure?”
He even went on to even talk about how comfortable the inside of the submersible he dived in was. He said it was “relatively comfortable,” before noting that “certainly there are things that can go wrong.”
“If they do go wrong, it’s not going to matter anyway. And it’s going to happen so quickly that you’re not even gonna know it happened, probably,” he noted. “These are the thoughts you have going in.”
He even explained how to him, “the price of admission” seemed “kind of low” given the “great experience” you got in return.
“You approach the bow, and then you rise up over it. And you’re looking down on the ship, and you are a ghost of the abyss. And the images stay with you. The images, they really have an effect,” he said before he talked about the “personal story” attached to the sunken ship.
Posted by R.I.P Bill Paxton on Sunday, June 13, 2021
“I think all of us at some time in our dreams or even our waking moments have pictured ourselves: What would it have been like to be on that deck? Knowing that the lifeboats had gone away. What were you gonna do? Contemplating your own fate. It’s this ultimate parable of, how would you measure up?” he questioned, calling the Titanic “a perfect tragedy.”
“You think about the people on the water. You think about the people on the boats looking back and seeing the stern of that ship come up out of the water like a city rising up out of the sea,” the actor said. “You think about the people in the water. I swam in the water out there, which was a very disconcerting experience because you think there’s that much ocean underneath you.”
It was clear that the actor knew of all the risks before going into the experience. As for the five men aboard the submersible that dominated headlines in the last week, the U.S. Coast Guard announced that they discovered “presumed human remains.”
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